What's your big challenge in Life??? HUGS!

amother

Bisque

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 7:33 am

Husband's mental illness, Living as a married, single mom to young children, not being able to afford "extra necessities" like cleaning help while working full time at an exhausting job, being the sole provider for my family due to husband's inability to hold down a job, lack of physical and emotional connection to my spouse.

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 8:44 am

amother wrote:

I have a debilitating phobia that only my husband really knows about. I've been working on it in therapy for years and making tiny steps in the right direction. But anyone who never experienced this can never understand how it can take over your life, constantly being on alert, being limited in things u can do. I was extremely depressed at 1 point on meds. Suicidal....
And no one really knows about it or how bad it is...

Is it Agoraphobia or more specific?
I suffered from debilitating phobias for a looooong time. I was homebound at some points. It was so hard, I still cry about it. BH with meds and intensive therapy I am on the path to healing. Wanna send you hugs and validation.

amother

Periwinkle

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 9:03 am

I struggle with depression and anxiety. I’m on 2 kinds of meds for it and seeing my therapist weekly. I’ve been struggling for3 years and still inconsolably cry many times a week. The meds are making me gain weight, which is super depressing for me. I gained over 15 lbs in the last 3 months or so.

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 9:11 am

amother wrote:

Something doesn't feel correct. My opinion. Find a second opinion and/or change meds combination. Depression and anxiety could be managed in less than 3 yrs (unless you're experiencing ongoing abuse, which you didn't mention).
Refuah Sheleima

amother

Burlywood

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 9:15 am

Swimming in waves of grief. I carried a beautiful daughter for 9 full months and unexpectedly she died most likely due to difficult birth. She was only 2 days old yet she expressed such maturity. She opened her eyes a lot and communicated with me. She loved being held and undressed. She would look all around during diaper changes. She was gorgeous.
I feel like I am tying slowly each day. My insides are so numb. I pull through each day knowing my older kids have no one but their parents. Absolutely no grandparent or aunt/ uncle involvement. I lost a lot of friends because I realized they lied about a lot. They showed no remorse or empathy to my pain so I stopped talking about my pain.
Some tell me I should get pregnant again but I suffer from hyperemesis and long difficult labors. I lost my way in life. Some days I love Hashem other days I feel how can he allow this to happen knowing how much I suffered trying to bring life onto this earth.

144

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 9:27 am

Amother Burlywood. We are here for you. This is a place where you can share your pain and hear empathetic words. I feel for you. Your post made me cry. I believe you when you say it's soooo painful. I believe you when you say people don't want to hear of your pain. They might be too overwhelmed by it. Or they might not know how to respond. There are those who will never understand. And there are a few who will understand. Choose to speak about this subject to the ones who will generate health and well-being for you. I see the struggle to choose the correct people to speak to as a secondary struggle to the original struggle of loss of your child. I hope you find solace.
How long ago did this happen?

Vintage

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 9:32 am

amother wrote:

What ? Why do I need to speak to a social worker. ? I love myself . Am I not allowed to be sad that I don't have a mother? Am I not allowed to be sad that my kids don't have a grandmother ? That's not called the past haunting me . I lost my dear mother and I'm in pain because I miss her so much .

Yes, you are more than allowed to be sad over the pain of not having a mother and that your kids don't have a grandmother.

I have done more than my share of leap frogging over painful realities and can say first hand it is a set up for deeper problems down the road.

That is not the past haunting you it is the very real pain of today and the today's reality of there being a nurturing loss in your life and the life of your children.

I too do not have a mother and deeply empathize with your pain. Looking into a void is painful.

Facing an empty chair is painful.

BH we can ask for that void to be filled, doesn't mean it still isn't painful at times. May your pain lessen and the void become ever smaller.

amother

Ivory

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 9:36 am

Money.
Dh business is almost non existent. We are living off savings. What is going to be when the savings are over? It’s not like he is sitting in his office and doing nothing: he tries to get new customers, advertises, gives business cards or does a job almost without profit.
Thinking about getting a legal divorce so we could get on food stamps and Medicaid. I have horrible headaches from wearing a sheitel that is too tight on my head. It was on sale and it doesn’t look bad.
We are healthy, kids are healthy and thriving! Bh money should be our biggest problem!

amother

Maroon

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 9:37 am

Surrendered wrote:

Your sickness has no cure? May you have a Refuah Sheleima Bkorov. Adding you to my special Tehillim list.

Thank you. Your words are so kind. There is no cure yet.

amother

Cyan

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 9:58 am

I am weighed down daily by my complex ptsd. I was hurt terribly by the therapists that I saw who had done so much ti help me past it. My husband won't seek help for his bouts of depression and anxiety. I lost a big chunk of my job which pays the bills. I have no time in my life for the creative outlets that got me through childhood and adolescence. I have no close friends anymore, and I feel like a square peg among my and my husband's relatives. I have a picture in my head of the type of mother I want to be but I can't often live up to it. It's 9:58 and my husband has not come down yet.

almostlettinggo

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 10:00 am

Wow. I'm so overwhelmed by all these strong and courageous women! Hashem should help everyone with what they need especially health and life! Ladies continue to be strong and set examples for everyone, that with such strength of character Hashem blesses the world. Refuah Sheleima will keep you in my prayers! For those without moms- it's extremely difficult! I also lost mine. I always try to visualize how it would be like anytime I make a simcha... or even crave her love to just to pick up the phone and say Hi. May Hashem send Mochiach now!

Surrendered

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 10:05 am

Oh Hashem, please look down at your dear children suffering so much and in such deep pain, and see how many people feel along with their tzaar and try to comfort them even though we don't know them. And send us all our our individual yeshuah and ultimate geula.
Achunu kol bais yisroel hanesunim batzura uveshivya.
This thread comes to show us that though we don't see and know what others are going through, we all got a big package to deal with. So let's be sensitive and caring to all fellow Jews, regardless of background or dresscode.
Hugs to all of you and I will really pray on your behalf.
Hold on tight, Keep strong. Everything in life passes, even your troubles.
Hashem can do Miracles and help you in an instant.
Keep sharing and caring...

amother

Green

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 10:32 am

tf wrote:

Absolutely not. She was an amazing person. Finding a gift in any traumatic experience is looots of inner work. I still miss her. I still cry 30+ yrs later. But I also see how this has helped me.

So how has it helped you ? I don't mean to sound rude but there is no positive side to losing a parent

amother

Green

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 10:36 am

Vintage wrote:

Amen . Thank you for posting that . That was beautifully written .

Surrendered

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 10:38 am

When a person does real inner work and is strongly connected to Hashem, you can get to a place of seeing good in whatever Hashem sends your way. Even the seemingly bad.

amother

Bronze

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 10:40 am

My parents are dead. My one stepparent is remarried and distant. My siblings and I have drifted apart. My husband doesn’t work, so Parnasa is all on me. I’m probably a little socially awkward (yes I know that has many meanings) and when I’m stressed I get very slow- both in my thinking and my actions. This is obviously a benefit in exactly no situations.

amother

Magenta

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 10:44 am

This thread is making me cry. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one facing challenges. Everyone else seems to be leading a perfect life... This gives me great chizuk. Thanks.....

rachelmom1

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 10:46 am

Then Dankbar is truly an appropriate name. It's so important and sometimes even more difficult to thank for the good while in pain.

dankbar wrote:

I have so many challenges, which I won't list here. I try to focus on the positives instead of dwelling on the pain