Why do my kids need to help? why does e/o hav responsiblty?

amother

Gray

Sun, Jan 20 2019, 10:55 pm

amother wrote:

You are entitled to your opinion. This girl I know who acted like my daughter and got away from doing minimal chores, she used to cry at age 16 like an 8 year old to get away from helping a bit. She got married and demands her husband to work like a dog because she must have everything in the world.
I ask mamesh so little from her. In Williamsburg all couples come in the begining for supper and I ask her 20minutes of total house work a day and you call it all kinds of names? Whatever. Today I woke up with a terrible health issue (temporary BH_its getting a bit better) I told my daughter I didnt get a chance to do the house but dont worryI will do in a slower pace thruout the day. You judt give me 20 minutes of anything. She was very happy and thanked me and was in a good mood. I dont think Im doing anything wrong. She was in danger of being Mrs Entitled and giving horrible answers for months and years and I decided to talk to her openly.

So she doesn't need meds. Why would you think so? She does need a different approach, and to have parents who are on the same page and not the current extremely unhealthy dynamic.

Zehava

Sun, Jan 20 2019, 11:13 pm

amother wrote:

Ah yes the all-encompassing fear of raising wild entitled animals.
The fear that if we don’t step all over our children, and twist them into the shapes we want they will grow up to be a menace to the world.
I am way too familiar with that fear. It was all around me growing up like a suffocating cloud, always present.
I had to consciously eradicate that fear when I had children of my own.
Children want to be good. Children want to be responsible. Children want to help, and be a contributing member of the household.
It is parents with this attitude who are holding them back, who are chaining them to the labels of “lazy” “entitled”, “chutzpahdig”...
If I was your daughter I wouldn’t help either. Oh wait. That’s right I didn’t. Not a stitch. When I got married I had to learn my way around the kitchen.
I’m fine, my family is fine, and my children surprise me every day with the things they do, with how much they are capable of.