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Holding a child back

 
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amother




Smokey


Post  Thu, Mar 14 2019, 10:43 am
I am in the position right now that I might have to hold my child back and not put into first grade Sad . I am doing a lot right now to try to try bringing my child to grade level. One of my main concern is if there is a real issue that won't be solved by holding back I am making a mistake but on the other hand my child birthday is at the younger side maybe that extra year with play can help What I am so torn Banging head
Any advice from parents who held back positive or negitve.
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Chayalle




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Mar 14 2019, 10:52 am
amother wrote:
I am in the position right now that I might have to hold my child back and not put into first grade Sad . I am doing a lot right now to try to try bringing my child to grade level. One of my main concern is if there is a real issue that won't be solved by holding back I am making a mistake but on the other hand my child birthday is at the younger side maybe that extra year with play can help What I am so torn Banging head
Any advice from parents who held back positive or negitve.


Don't know if this will help you at all, or give you chizuk...but I repeated kindergarten. I'm still alive to tell the tale. I had normal school years, I went to a top seminary, I B"H got a shidduch and married DH, and I have 3 beautiful daughters B"AH.

IOW, it didn't hold me back in any way.

When my niece repeated primary, I took her out to Ritas, just the two of us. I told her I was president of the repeating club.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Mar 14 2019, 10:54 am
My son repeated 9th grade when he switched high schools. Before that he was the youngest in the class which wasn't great for him socially. Leaving him back was the best thing for him both socially and scholastically. He was with kids his age and on his grade level.
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amother




Orchid


Post  Thu, Mar 14 2019, 10:54 am
what do the teacher say?

do you trust their judgment?
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Mar 14 2019, 11:02 am
amother wrote:
I am in the position right now that I might have to hold my child back and not put into first grade Sad . I am doing a lot right now to try to try bringing my child to grade level. One of my main concern is if there is a real issue that won't be solved by holding back I am making a mistake but on the other hand my child birthday is at the younger side maybe that extra year with play can help What I am so torn Banging head
Any advice from parents who held back positive or negitve.


Ask the school why they want to hold back, and what will be change in the next year.

If its developmental, then absolutely hold him back. OTOH, if its a learning difference, you might be better off letting him go to first grade, but ensuring that there are supports in place. But you need to know before making a decision.

I know its a difficult decision, but you are amazing to want to ensure that you're doing the right thing.

BTW, if you want to hear a couple of amazing stories about kids who were held back, PM me. They're too identifiable to post, even anonymously. But trust me when I say that these kids thrived.
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amother




Smokey


Post  Thu, Mar 14 2019, 11:12 am
So I knew going into the year we might need to repeat, but the year started off well and my child was doing ok with support. But now is very overwhelmed. If I do need to repeat then it would need to be a discussion about what will change. I trust this teacher but do feel like I am missing pieces of the story. Also what about leaving friends we have playdates with classmates all the time but the teacher is telling me that there are social issues .but I also feel it's not June and we still have a lot of time better to help now as a goal being 1st grade. Not just letting a child muddle through for the rest of the year because well we are holding back anyway.( That was not said just my feeling)
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amother




Aqua


Post  Thu, Mar 14 2019, 12:09 pm
When is your daughters birthday and what is the schools birthday deadline?
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amother




cornflower


Post  Thu, Mar 14 2019, 12:30 pm
I think that you can call a meeting with administration etc. But usually when the school sees an issue, it's an issue, even if parents can't see it. Parents aren't in school with 20 five yr olds all the time, so they don't know what is normal.

Why should you frustrate your child by pushing them on?

On the other hand, make sure there will be interventions in place next year and in the future.

I'm a teacher and many times my weakest students -academically/socially/both are the oldest. They have issues that need much more than regular intervention.
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amother




cornflower


Post  Thu, Mar 14 2019, 12:31 pm
At this age, your child will make new friends. I wouldn't worry about that at all.
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amother




Honeydew


Post  Thu, Mar 14 2019, 12:39 pm
Sometimes kids, especially younger kids, need that extra year of play and taking it easy. It's really not so unheard if to repeat Pre 1A. It's a much better option rather than having the child struggle through school. It's very possible that all the child needs is another year of preschool.
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Knitcat




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Mar 14 2019, 12:44 pm
I was held back in second grade and my sister was in first grade. It was one of the best decisions our parents could have made for us academically and developmentally.
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sweet




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Mar 14 2019, 1:09 pm
You, the mother know your child best.
I was strongly considering putting my son back in K. (He has a nov. Bday 1 week before the cut off date.)
I saw how in the summer he was thriving in a dif. Day camp, different environment , had tons of friends,..
and I ended up putting him up into p1a. Now he’s doing great bh.
A lot had to do with his teachers all year.. Do not just trust them blindly. Some do have an agenda..Observe your child and kids do mature tons in the summer.
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