Waht would you do???neighbor abuses her children

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amother

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 8:45 am

We have a neighbour who does abuse her 2 children!
We are afraid something bad will happen to the kids one day!!!!!!
Which number should we call to report about it?who do we turn to?
It is really dangerous for the kids!

amother

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 8:59 am

amother wrote:

whoa! that is really tough omg....what about chai lifeline?? I mean of course, my first "instinct" if this is actual abuse would be call the police or child services, but its a tough choice do you want to rly break up a family like that, traumatize kids even more etc, ....wow my heart goes out to the poor kids. I think the ppl at chai lifeline have alot of experience dealing w/ these tragic situations. ... and they can probably give other ideas as to what to do next....

Purplehair

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 9:09 am

I was under the impression that Chai Lifeline deals with Cancer issues.
Perhaps calling a place like Ohel, or Tikvah at Ohel might be more appropriate? I know that they deal with children at risk situations, and this sounds like something right up their alley.
Tikvah at Ohel's phone # is (718)859-5108

grin

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 9:13 am

IN the US - Shalom Task Force.
In Israel -Miklat Bas Melech

(both have toll-free numbers that are availbele online.)

amother

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 9:16 am

first try to make sure that it is child abuse- because we were once called on by the child protective services, for something that wasn't child abuse. A neighbor saw us and our little sibs playing on our front lawn (in a very very rural not ny, safe area) and called child protective services... Very uncomfortable when the lady came and I answered the door cuz my mom wasn't home...

just because it isnt something you would do, doesnt make it child abuse.

But if it is child abuse, do something right away!!!

amother

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 9:18 am

Isnt DEYFUS for that type of thing?

amother

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 9:24 am

Are you talking about this being in NYC??

Lechatchila Ariber

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 10:20 am

would you mind giving us some more information amother?
what is she doing that is child abuse?

shopaholic

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 11:00 am

Esti is right - do you mean abuse as in doesn't take care of her kids, no baths, dirty clothes, not dressed warm enough in this weather or literally hurting & hitting the kids.

I would say call Shalom Task Force or Ohel.

momluv

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 12:28 pm

ohel is definitely for qualified for these issues. notify them, but first please explain what abuse you are referring to.

amother

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 5:53 pm

Im the original poster here.
Yes,it is in Brooklyn Ny yes she is abusing them:screaming that she wakes up everybody at 2:00AM and then the poor kids crying screaming nand it is really scary!
She is seperated from her husband,she has lots of money but she is suffering from nerve problems.she takes medication for that.
She never cooks for them she only shops Gucci for them and feels she is the best mother.
she hits them and they are only 3 & 5 years old!

red sea

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 6:05 pm

Does she occasionally hit them (like one hit here or there)or does she regularly beat them (as in children with black & blue marks)?

Does she not cook (as in serves takeout or cereal and sandwiches) or does she starve them (like they go to school and steal food off other kids)?

How do you know she screams at 2am? Do you live in her house or are her windows open in the winter?? Maybe her and her dh are on the phone?? If they are fighting ofcourse little kids will cry.

You can ruin people lives really badly by reporting them.

Be very sure it is abuse before you call. (If it is abuse call Ohel's abuse hotline).

There is a big difference between a hard time and things not ideal and abuse.

Lechatchila Ariber

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 6:48 pm

red sea wrote:

I'm glad you wrote that redsea, you saved me the effort

amother you still haven't given us enough info that describes abuse, its all too vague for anyone to advise you on.

maybe she screams because they woke her up? no one just screams for no reason.
not that screaming is right but its not necessarily abuse either.

southernbubby

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 7:44 pm

I know that Henna White is a liason in the Brooklyn D.A.s office and works with the frum community when issues arise that cause them to be dealt with by the authorities. Why don't you give her a call and ask her what to do?

amother

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 7:48 pm

Calling Ohel is the same as calling ACS.

red sea

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 8:15 pm

amother wrote:

Calling Ohel is the same as calling ACS.

except they make sure the children are put in a frum home and a good home if they feel they need to remove the kids

faigie

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 8:56 pm

can you call their father first??? maybe he can go get them. or possibly call this ladys parents and tell them whats going on, so they can intervene?

greenfire

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 9:09 pm

always a scary stitch ... you wanna be sure before ... but you don't want to leave the kids in an abusive/neglectful situation ...

btw - kids and crying go together often ...

you never know what drives someone over the deep edge - maybe try and help her out also ...

amother

Thu, Dec 13 2007, 10:51 pm

I don't think it's your job to be sure of anything. Unless you are professionally trained in this area, your job is to call the authorities, and explain honestly what your observations have been. Not what you think might be happening, not what you're afraid of, but what you've actually seen or heard. For example, "I heard her scream, and then I heard a crash" is OK, "She yelled like a lunatic before throwing something at the child" is not.
Then let the professionals investigate. They do not want to remove a child from a home unless it's absolutely necessary.

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