When did you tell your boss that you're pregnant?

amother

Chartreuse

Thu, Mar 28 2019, 10:30 pm

Posting here because I hope I'll get some good advice from you women!

I'm into my 12th week with my first IYH. I work in a corporate setting, where I have really only been for a few months. The benefit for maternity leave is good but I won't qualify for it since I won't have been there a full year yet when baby comes IYH. I was going to try to wait another month before telling my boss (all the more time to prove myself as well) but I'm not sure I'll be able to pull it off with showing and I really want to do this right. He's a good manager and we have a good rapport. I want him to know first (at work). Also my friend told me she handled a similar situation at 13 weeks, which is making me think I should do this sooner than I thought. That's so soon, though! When did you tell your boss? Any advice?

allthingsblue

Thu, Mar 28 2019, 10:33 pm

I would wait until 18-20 weeks. It's fine if you're showing a little bit; it most likely won't be 100% obvious, especially to a male. You'll just confirm any "suspicions" at 18-20 weeks.
13 weeks sounds really early to me; that would feel to personal for me. I tell my family at 12 weeks; I don't call my good friends to tell them until closer to 20 weeks.

amother

Orchid

Thu, Mar 28 2019, 10:35 pm

allthingsblue wrote:

That would be considered late to tell a boss in many settings and awkward since it’s obvious by then.

amother

Royalblue

Thu, Mar 28 2019, 10:43 pm

amother wrote:

That would be considered late to tell a boss in many settings and awkward since it’s obvious by then.

Really? I'm in similar situation. Following

Especially if u started new job recently I'd think wait a bit. It doesn't take more than 5 months to redistribute the work.

I'm 18 weeks and not showing at btw...

abcde2

Thu, Mar 28 2019, 11:03 pm

I said at around 16-18 weeks. That's when I started showing and felt it's time for him to know the timeframe when I'll be out.

Sebastian

Thu, Mar 28 2019, 11:05 pm

where's Fox? She thinks you should tell the boss as soon as you see the 2nd line on the stick lol (well not really, but close enough....)

amother

Seashell

Thu, Mar 28 2019, 11:29 pm

I told my male manager around 16 weeks; corporate setting; had also been there under a year when I informed him. The rule of thumb I was told is to push it off as long as possible (within reason) until you need to put on maternity. If you're gaining weight, but not wearing maternity, even though you think you're showing, the people around you likely won't realize that you're pregnant. (Within reason means that if you're one of those people who put on maternity super late in pregnancy, which it sounds like OP won't be, inform your boss earlier than you put on maternity.) My male manager said he would have been oblivious for months if I hadn't said anything. (Men are much less likely than women to notice pregnancy signs, although if your manager has kids (mine didn't), he may be slightly better informed.)

challahchallah

Thu, Mar 28 2019, 11:32 pm

I told around 24 weeks, because first I wanted to wait until my 20 week scan and then I figured I'd wait until I had my performance review. The important thing is to tell whenever you feel ready (and before it's blatantly obvious). If 13 weeks feels too early to you, then hold off until it feels right.

rachel6543

Thu, Mar 28 2019, 11:37 pm

My first job I waited until 16-18 weeks when I started showing.

Job #2 I told my (male) manager at 9 weeks, but only because I was bleeding and ended up going to the ER. But the rest of my team wasn’t notified until 12-14 weeks along, once I stopped bleeding and there was no more worry about a miscarriage.

singleagain

Fri, Mar 29 2019, 12:37 am

Never been pregnant. But my coworker told our boss I think very shortly after she find out. And she told me almost right after that. Which I appreciated since I was covering for her and I still had to learn a lot of the job cause I was there only a few months.

Also bc she also wasn't there long enough for benefits, she arranged FMLA leave. You should def look into that start the paperwork now.

And bshas tova

amother

Olive

Fri, Mar 29 2019, 1:55 am

Told my boss @ 8 weeks. I am a nurse and had been calling in sick more often also can't take certain patients. Dh told HR at about 13 weeks they schedule him out months in advance and it's important that they know he will be out on paternity leave.

1091

Fri, Mar 29 2019, 2:04 am

Latest I told was 13 weeks.

I had a coworker wait until she was at 30 weeks and the wait was not taken positively.

I work in finance in Manhattan. Religious Jews are a minority. Most others don’t see any reason to hide the news after the first trimester.

2gether

Fri, Mar 29 2019, 2:38 am

I don't think you are expected to share in the first trimester. You can share right before you start showing unless you the type who shows very late. There is a big differance sharing in your 4 mo. then 30 weeks. and 5 mos. is more than adequte to distrbute work.

amother

Lavender

Fri, Mar 29 2019, 4:46 am

I've worked in kindergarten before so I had to tell even at 7 weeks because I wasn't allowed to come to work anymore (full pay though). Now I can still work so I mention it at 16 weeks.

amother

Saddlebrown

Fri, Mar 29 2019, 12:40 pm

I work in a corporate setting and for all of mine except my first I have told after my first trimester which is usually when I am start showing. For my first I only started putting on maternity by my 5th month and I was mostly feeling okay. People in my office figured it out before I told anyone. My advice is to tell your boss before there starts to be rumors and he hears it from anyone else.