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DD constantly complains about school

 
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 10:36 am
She is always texting me or emailing me that she "can't take school". So and so teacher is being mean or this subject is too boring or "dumb". The list is long.

She is almost done this year with school and will be moving on next year.

I don't know how to instill resilience in her. Of course, there is hardly anyone that thinks every minute of school is worthwhile but most of us just get through it and move on.

She has good grades and is respectful in school. She has very immature ways of dealing with common stresses. Don't know why.
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amother




Honeydew


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 10:51 am
Have you tried validating/ sympathizing EXCLUSIVELY? Sometimes if someone thinks her point is not coming across, due to the other person's response, she has a hard time moving past it. She may be getting stuck because of your "solutions," if in fact you are trying to make her see things in a more positive light.
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amother




Chartreuse


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 10:56 am
What is she doing next year?
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amother




OP


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 11:22 am
amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:
Have you tried validating/ sympathizing EXCLUSIVELY? Sometimes if someone thinks her point is not coming across, due to the other person's response, she has a hard time moving past it. She may be getting stuck because of your "solutions," if in fact you are trying to make her see things in a more positive light.


Yes, in the beginning, I certainly felt I listened to her and sympathized. Still didn't change that she needed to go to school. So, it's not like it got her anywhere. I do feel that she is complaining and complaining begets complaining. I feel that some of the kids she hangs around with also complain a lot. (And now I'm complaining about her complaining.)
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amother




Honeydew


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 11:32 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yes, in the beginning, I certainly felt I listened to her and sympathized. Still didn't change that she needed to go to school. So, it's not like it got her anywhere. I do feel that she is complaining and complaining begets complaining. I feel that some of the kids she hangs around with also complain a lot. (And now I'm complaining about her complaining.)


I'm sorry, it's not fun to listen to complaining all the time. I would probably start responding to all her texts with a frown emoji. So she knows you hear her, she knows it makes your unhappy, but you don't have to get drawn in.
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