Please guard your children

amother

Thu, May 02 2019, 6:17 pm

I can't say this personally to anyone so I figured I will try to get my feelings out here and hopefully wake someone up.

It's really your job to watch your children. Yup. Even if you taught them to cross the street at the ripe old age of three. Even if you made rules about where they can ride their bike (which they don't keep) even if you are tired or overwhelmed or have an 8 year old that agreed to watch them.

All kids all ages need supervision. Some ages and kids 24/7 some every few minutes, Some every half hour, and some every few days. You get the idea.

Besides safety how else do you learn how your child is doing socially, get a chance to guide them. How else will you spot your child bullying or someone else bullying them.

I don't mind raising your child for you, and teaching them safety rules and how to be nice to each other but I worry that they are being neglected and that you don't even think there is anything wrong.

Thanks for listening!

amother

Saddlebrown

Thu, May 02 2019, 6:26 pm

I see soo many kids playing outside by themselves!! it makes me sick with worry! I always sit on my porch if my kids are playing outside cuz I dont trust them or others even though all of my neighbors are frum. Other moms have asked me if I'm staying outside and do I mind watching their kids. HUH? Rolling Eyes

I can understand if they are cooking or something like that but many just go back into the house to talk on the telephone.

WATCH YOUR KIDS!!!

FranticFrummie

Thu, May 02 2019, 6:45 pm

Always put your purse in the back seat, if you have a child in the car.
https://www.theyeshivaworld.co......html

If you are afraid the child will be able to reach your purse and play with it, take off one of your shoes and throw it in the back seat.

Most children left in cars are not left behind on purpose. If a child falls asleep, and the parent is distracted or doing something that is not a routine, it could be a terrible combination.

I used to judge the heck out of parents, and say "How can you forget you have a child with you?" Then I had DD. When she was a week old, we had to go to the store to pick up a few things. Her dad got out of one side of the car, I got out the other, and we both thought that the other one had DD. We started to lock up the car and head to the store, when her dad says "Um, aren't you forgetting something?" Surprised

I was horrified at myself. I picked her up and hugged and kissed her, and said a quick thank you to Hashem for avoiding a tragedy. In that moment, I swore to never jump to judgement when I hear of a child left in the car.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, May 02 2019, 6:47 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’m so angry every time I see mothers who leave a child in a carriage outside a store while they go in, or in the supermarket and mom is nowhere nearby.

FranticFrummie

Thu, May 02 2019, 6:53 pm

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

I can understand if they are cooking or something like that but many just go back into the house to talk on the telephone.

WATCH YOUR KIDS!!!

In my neighborhood it's totally normal for all the kids to be out after school, playing with their friends. Only toddlers get constant supervision. Once they are 4 or 5, they are allowed to play outside as long as they stay on their block. At 6 or more they can go several blocks away to the store for ice cream, or to go to the park.

I don't understand why people think Israel is more dangerous than America. Kids have much more freedom and independence here, and they are all very capable. I think the difference is that in America, most people are strangers.

Here, most people are "family", and will go out of their way to look after other people's kids. My Hebrew is not very good, but I know if a child holds their hand out to me, it's because they want me to take it and help them cross the street.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, May 02 2019, 7:07 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Don't be nieve. Just as many "family" strangers molest children, kidnap children, do nothing in an emergency case etc as the "real strangers" in America.
A six year old is a six year old is a six year old.
Just because a kid CAN buy groceries by themselves doesn't mean they SHOULD.

amother

Royalblue

Thu, May 02 2019, 7:11 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/general/1722465/tehillim-two-children-critical-after-falling-from-window-in-spring-valley-home.html

And please please put bars on windows on higher floors. This story just happened an hour or so ago. Please say Tehillim as well.

I'm scared to put bars on the Windows in case of fire. But I do make it a priority to supervise.

thunderstorm

Thu, May 02 2019, 7:17 pm

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

I’m so angry every time I see mothers who leave a child in a carriage outside a store while they go in, or in the supermarket and mom is nowhere nearby.

Fourty years ago my mother used to do this in Brooklyn while she shopped and shmoozed inside the store. One day a woman that knew her from the neighborhood saw my brother in the stroller and she was so upset that she took the stroller and walked around the square block with my brother . When my mother came out of the store and saw that the stroller was no longer there she got hysterical. Two minutes later that woman arrived with the stroller and my brother who was literally a few months old. She told my mother that the only way she'd learn not to do that again was by scaring the wits out of her . Believe it or not they became very good friends after that and my mother always tells people that story. She learned her lesson.

FranticFrummie

Thu, May 02 2019, 7:25 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

I understand your point. Taken.

I think another big difference, is the sheer volume of people who are outside. If everyone is afraid to let their children out, then one child outside alone is vulnerable. If there are 100 children playing outside, that's a lot of witnesses in case anything goes wrong. 100 is not an exaggeration. That's ten families with ten kids each, or twenty families with 5 kids each. With a lot of apartment complexes around, you could easily get 100 kids per block on a summer afternoon. Keep in mind that not all of them are 6 years old. There are groups of teenagers out, too.

In America, you don't always see adults walking around on a week day, because they drive everywhere. In my area, a lot more adults walk or take the bus, and don't even own cars. That means there's a lot of responsible adults around, too. Women pushing strollers, men coming and going from davening, lots of activity all day and late into the evening.

BTW, if I lived in Tel Aviv or Acco, I would feel much differently. I chose this neighborhood because it was safe, family friendly, and 99.9% Jewish, as well as being frum.

amother

Wheat

Thu, May 02 2019, 7:43 pm

momsrus wrote:

Children?

In any there are gates that are not a fire hazard and are safe for kids.

Yes, sometimes the windows are the only possible exit. Firefighters employ these giant air mattresses so people can jump to safety.

And sometimes humans form a net of their own and catch the jumpers.

But its as you said, there are safe options available.

Zehava

Thu, May 02 2019, 7:50 pm

Gee thanks for the lecture.
I make my own decisions between keeping my kids safe and allowing them to grow up, explore, and take responsibility.
It’s a delicate balance and one I don’t take lightly. And I don’t need your judgment. Nor do I need you raising my kids.
My kids are responsible and independent because I don’t hover over them and prescribe their every action and interaction.

amother

Mint

Thu, May 02 2019, 7:51 pm

momsrus wrote:

Children?

In any there are gates that are not a fire hazard and are safe for kids.

Ideally not but once emergency services are there, they put mattresses underneath to help out. Not ideal of course. But nor is going back into a burning building.