Please guard your children

southernbubby

Fri, May 03 2019, 8:39 am

My street looks a lot like a neighborhood in Israel with lots of kids on bikes without helmets and multiple kids on a trampoline at the same time who all call out "bubby" when they see me even though I am not their grandmother. The sidewalk is only on one side of the street so pedestrians of all ages are constantly at risk.
Hopefully Hashem is watching but my biggest per peeve is when people let babies eat whole grapes or allow kids to play with pieces of a popped balloon.

amother

Blonde

Fri, May 03 2019, 8:51 am

Israeli_C wrote:

Clearly you don't know much about Israel. I live in a very respectable neighbourhood (secular, middle class) in the merkaz and DH works in hi-tech which is the only reason why we can even afford to be here. And business was brisk there. They're everywhere. Especially in the merkaz.

Umm, I've probably lived here more years than you are alive. 30 years. So I do know something.
I also have only lived in secular middle class neighborhoods in different cities.
I personally have never encountered it. I see flyers in area like the bursa in Ramat Gan,but I have never come across a brothel in any area I lived. Nor have I come across real drug use (I am not counting nargilla or marijuana).
Maybe I have just been lucky.

amother

Cerise

Fri, May 03 2019, 9:01 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It's one thing if you allow it and another if you don't know that it's happening and there is glass or rusty nails around etc...I do not walk around judging ppl. But if you happen to be the mother who is outside for about two hours at least every day you start noticing things. And because it is rampant enough I figured that there may be a lot of ppl unaware that they should even be outside watching their kids bec like I said they taught their kids how to cross...It wasn't a joke. I was serious. I'm not talking dysfunctional families here. I think this is a gross oversight by many caring and loving parents. I just wanted ppl to know that just because you taught therm right it doesn't mean they are doing ok. Unless you supervise frequently you don't know that they are being safe ACCORDING TO YOUR OWN STANDARDS. I hope that clarifies.

I know what you mean, and it's not about hovering and helicoptering. The other day I was picking up my DD from a friend who lives across the street. As I was walking out of the house, two 7-8 year old girls ran out and right across the street. They did not stop to check for cars on this busy, two way street, and there was no crosswalk. They just ran from behind the shrubs across two lanes of traffic. The whole thing happened before I could even process it, but they were extremely lucky that they made it across without getting hit by a truck going 35 mph. Someone's mother thinks that she taught her daughter how to safely cross the street, but she isn't around to see what's really happening.

ora_43

Fri, May 03 2019, 9:02 am

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

This whole brothel in family oriented neighborhoods conversation is literally making me feel like I have to throw up. I went to seminary for a year, and lived in Eretz Yisrael for a short time after marriage, and I NEVER heard of such a thing. And we are seriously considering Aliyah right now, why oh why did I have to read this right now?

Wherever it is you are considering aliyah from, I promise you the s-x industry is alive and well there, too.

It's called the world's oldest profession for a reason.

amother

Fri, May 03 2019, 9:04 am

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

Thank you! Exactly this!

amother

Blonde

Fri, May 03 2019, 9:06 am

ora_43 wrote:

Wherever it is you are considering aliyah from, I promise you the s-x industry is alive and well there, too.

It's called the world's oldest profession for a reason.

Luckily in Israel AFAIK a law was recently passed, making visiting a brothel a criminal offense. Someone above also mentioned it....

Just checked, I was right. We are the tenth country in the world to outlaw using prostitution. I am happy that the law targets the men, and not the women who were usually pushed into this life due to difficult circumstances. Starts in 2020.

ישראל הפכה אתמול (ב') למדינה העשירית בעולם שאוסרת בחוק על צריכת זנות. החל מעוד שנה וחצי, כל מי שייתפס צורך זנות, מנסה לצרוך זנות, או נמצא במקום המשמש באופן מלא או חלקי לזנות במטרה לצרוך זנות - ייקנס ב-2,000 שקלים בפעם הראשונה וב-4,000 שקלים בעבירה חוזרת. החוק שאושר באופן סופי במליאת הכנסת נקבע כהוראת שעה לחמש שנים, ויאפשר במקרים מיוחדים הגשת כתב אישום שבצדו קנס שיכול להגיע לסכום של 75,300 שקלים ואף לכלול רישום פלילי.

ora_43

Fri, May 03 2019, 9:07 am

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

But where would you encounter it? These are places that are actively trying to stay hidden. Nobody is putting up a huge red sign saying "brothel in here," or handing out fliers next to the brothel itself. They do their best to keep everything quiet and discreet.

People who are alert and live right near it might notice that there are a lot of men coming in and out of the building at odd hours. OTOH, I know someone who lived right next to one and had no idea.

FranticFrummie

Fri, May 03 2019, 9:10 am

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

Someone's mother thinks that she taught her daughter how to safely cross the street, but she isn't around to see what's really happening.

The thing is, kids think that they are immortal and impervious to risk. They think they know what they are doing.

I always told DD, "I know you know how to cross the street, and I trust you - BUT, I don't trust the drivers of the cars!" I would point out to her every time I saw someone go through a 4 way crossing without stopping, someone on their cell phone while driving, etc. I would say "See? If you were crossing they wouldn't even notice you. They are not paying attention."

When she was little, we saw a squirrel dead on the side of the road. I made her stop and take a really good look, and told her "This is what happens to kids when a car hits them. You get squished and you die."

You bet my kid is careful! (and no, she didn't cry or get traumatized, she just took in the info and made a note not to end up like the squirrel.)

amother

Apricot

Fri, May 03 2019, 9:17 am

I have a neighbor with a lot of young children and the minute her daughter had her 8th birthday she was waiting at the bus stop at a busy corner alone. I was with my child and got to observe. Yes, if there was an emergency of course I'd help her out, but I'm not her mom. Maybe the mom pumped her daughter up to be excited about being "big" and I know the mom has to get a lot of other kids ready, but she doesn't see what I see. The tension on her daughter's face while she paces and waits for the bus, constantly looking back at her house way up the block for some reassurance. She looks scared and uncomfortable and I doubt she has a choice. Maybe she can handle it or its teaching her independence or whatever, and I know I shouldn't judge. But g-d help me, all I can think is STOP having so freaking many children or get your dumb husband to help out. Why aren't you supervising your kid... I get if it happens on occasion, but all the time?

Aylat

Fri, May 03 2019, 9:52 am

yo'ma wrote:

Just yesterday I read (again) my ds The Zehavi Club from the one of the Kids Speak series. Every other page, I was shouting, "where are the parents????"!!

I don't know the book but, as a genre, children's books are known for having 'absentee' parents because how can the children be the heroes of the story if adults are always swooping in to save them from danger?

unexpected

Fri, May 03 2019, 4:29 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Some things are just not ok. Kids riding in the center of the road. A kid dancing in the middle of the street while a car is coming. Kids walking outside without socks and shoes. Kids playing Dangerous games. Etc...It's one thing if it happens once but not if it happens over and over again and you aren't even there to know its happening and are barely ever outside supervising. I don't think these mother's realize what is going on. They delude themselves into thinking that since they punished their kid, taught their kid etc,.. they aren't doing out. I know these are really wonderful ppl.

Last year my five year old was constantly going outside without shoes and socks. She would come home from school, take off her shoes and tights when she went to the bathroom and then go out a bit later with one of her bigger sisters. BH she was never hurt even though she was sometimes outside for 10-15 minutes before I shlepped her back in.
You know, some things are not okay, but they happen anyway. It doesn't make me a delusional or incompetent mother, albeit a wonderful person...

Mama Bear

Fri, May 03 2019, 5:02 pm

amother [ Wheat ] wrote:

Yes, sometimes the windows are the only possible exit. Firefighters employ these giant air mattresses so people can jump to safety.

And sometimes humans form a net of their own and catch the jumpers.

But its as you said, there are safe options available.

Can you believe that here in Brooklyn youre required to put such strict bars on your windows that you cannot remove, if you have a child under 11 at home? It scares the heck out of me in case of fire ch'v. It's crazy.

Zehava

Fri, May 03 2019, 5:09 pm

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

Geez
I give my kids the option of waiting alone for the bus once they’re over five. Yes I had one five year old who is super responsible and independent and she was excited to reach that milestone. My now five year old still wants me to wait with her which I do. They all come home by themselves. An 8 year old is perfectly capable of waiting by herself.

Ema of 5

Fri, May 03 2019, 5:15 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Why is this not OK? My kids (and myself) go outside without shoes and socks all the time. It’s actually really good for little kids.

amother

Bronze

Fri, May 03 2019, 5:17 pm

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

And your 8 year probably begs you not to come out and wait for the bus with her.

Ema of 5

Fri, May 03 2019, 5:32 pm

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

And your 8 year probably begs you not to come out and wait for the bus with her.

My son was waiting for the bus on our corner (without me) when he was 8. It was either that, or have chaos in my house as I tried to get everyone else ready so we could all go to the bus together....

amother

Fri, May 03 2019, 5:48 pm

unexpected wrote:

I clearly didn't start this thread about you. Did you think I did? 😀

yo'ma

Sun, May 05 2019, 9:49 am

Aylat wrote:

I understand, but actually in this story, there's no actual hero, but that's neither here nor there.

amother

Burlywood

Sun, May 05 2019, 11:51 am

Ema of 4 wrote:

Why is this not OK? My kids (and myself) go outside without shoes and socks all the time. It’s actually really good for little kids.

My 2 yr old got an infection because she stepped on something outside and it got embedded in her skin. She had fever and needed antibiotics. So no, it’s not all advisable. Maybe in the olden days, when the streets and parks weren’t littered with all sorts of metal and plastic and glass, it was good for kids. But now it’s not. (This actually happened in the bungalow colony but it makes no difference, people think it’s ok to throw their trash on the ground.)