Enough kids for you!

amother

Royalblue

Mon, May 27 2019, 7:44 pm

amother [ Gold ] wrote:

How big is ur house? Lol basic question but that was the first that came to mind.

Also, bh I’m gonna assume that even though it must be hard you’re capable of managing life while pregnant. Also, you must’ve gotten married pretty young to pull that off?

And with that financial situation I’m assuming u send to chassidish schools (tuition)

We rent a 5 bedroom apartment and we have lots of bunk beds. Plus a decent size kitchen, a big dining room and two bathrooms. It helps that more than half the kids are boys and are not at home as often. (They all live at home but come home after 8 at night)
First three months of pregnancy I am married to my couch and my kids live on cereal and milk and egg salad, after that BH I feel fine straight through to the end. I got married at 20. I'm 42 now.
Yes we send to chassidish schools, tuition is about 50k a year

amother

Royalblue

Mon, May 27 2019, 7:53 pm

ectomorph wrote:

Lol. Thanks for posting.

What advice do you have for people who would love to have a large family, but aren't in town?

None haha

Idk if I had a plan to go as far as I did. BH, I have relatively easy kids and my house runs much smoother now than when I had only a few little ones. We just took it as it came. I know people here are saying that it's not as easy out of town but I don't know if I agree. Out of town has its own set of advantages, such as older teens with licenses and fathers being much more available. (Over here in Chassidish town, the men are always out doing some kind of chassidus-related thing and you can't really rely on them for help) Also, peer pressure is less and community isn't as demanding.

amother

Royalblue

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:07 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

Coming from a family with 12 kids that made a lot more money than that-
1. How do u manage the cleaning? My mom was always overwhelmed with cleaning and laundry since there wasn’t extra $$$ for cleaning help.
2. Tuition- tuition was $10-15k per kid- yeshivish . Even with breaks it was $5k per kid. We were all born in a 16 year timespan so that was a lot of money.
3. Therapy, play practice, baseball, school pickups - we were just told to find a ride many times 🙄
4. We didn’t get a lot of attention but we didn’t really want any lol . We were happy to fly under the radar but that could be catastrophic today with all the stuff going on now.

and a cleaning lady on
1. Ok first of all, I hate cleaning. My house is not a museum but its not a pigsty either. I have a dishwasher, BH and a cleaning lady on Fridays for 6 hours. I do laundry almost every day and it takes me about 2 hours. Sometimes it piles up on my bed and my kids have to take socks in the morning. Then I sleep in my husbands bed
2. Our tuition is about 4,000$ per kid, give or take a few and our bill comes out to about 50k a year. I don't send my kids out until they are 3, turning 4
3. BH no pt, ot or speech was ever needed. We did need therapy for one kid at one point (reg therapy lol) and we managed it. It was one appointment a week. Play practice is about 6 blocks from my house, girls walk with friends. No baseball. School pickup happens every once in a while and when I have the car I usually manage, otherwise kids get a ride.
4. I think my kids get enough attention - maybe too much? I am always home. I let them take off school when they really need it, and I put them to sleep every night. I always say my kids are like pots on a (very)large stove. I watch them to check if they are boiling and I rotate them depending how much they need to be stirred at a given time. Generally, there are only one or two that are bubbling at a time.. although we did have times when it seemed like they were all boiling over at once

amother

Honeydew

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:09 pm

If you think transportation would be easier OOT...you've never lived out of town.
My mother said many times, dealing with carpools was the most stressful part of child rearing. She said it definitely took a toll on her marriage. The pressure to do carpools while post partum, driving with a newborn in the backseat, was extremely hard. The rule was, after having a baby, the other moms did 2 weeks worth of driving. After that, you were on your own.
And you couldn't rely on teens driving carpool because 1) different routes at different times to boys and girls schools, not to mention elementary vs high school 2) you'd be stuck without a car and no way to run errands 3) not all of the other mothers would be ok with your 16 year old with a brand new driver's license driving their kids to school.
And depending how many kids you had in the carpool, according to the rules you might have to drive several runs in the week. Multiply that by each school and campus....

amother

Royalblue

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:16 pm

amother [ Smokey ] wrote:

Please tell me how you raise a large family with no programs on that income.
We have a much smaller family, make close to that and are just making ends meet.

I think the kicker is really tuition. But if you must know, here is the breakdown:
4k a month for rent and utilities
4k a month for tuition and school related funds
3k a month for groceries
1k a month for car-related
1k a month for random expenses

(health insurance plus dental comes through the business, for camp my husband has a barter system with the camp - he provides a service for them in exchange for camp tuition)

amother

Navy

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:17 pm

wow no pt, ot or speech were ever needed b"H! that makes a huge difference! my oldest child alone has had all three plus vision in the same year! and she's a normal child, with a lisp, limp after broken bone that needed to be addressed, some sensory issues and an eye that turned in affecting her depth perception but she's not a "special needs" kid at all and thankfully currently isn't getting anything but now it's her younger sister's turn to need lots of appointments...

yes the carpooling out of town! I often feel like a taxi and I purposely live somewhere that the close is close but that's not true for other communities.

amother

Smokey

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:20 pm

amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:

I know families who are living on much less than $200,000. More like $100,000. Eight to ten children, no programs (and yes, I was nosy, I asked them Smile

Give me numbers. How did they do it?
Food alone would be $20000. Tuition at least $30000. ($3000)a child). Then there is rent or mortgage, utility bills for sure another $30000. That's $80000 right there not counting taxes or health insurance and medical expenses.
What about clothes toys, camp yomtov expenses, simchos?

There is no way to do it without family help or govt help.

amother

Gold

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:21 pm

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

That doesn’t account for saving/ yt/ Simcha’s really

amother

Royalblue

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:21 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

Ok, I have never lived out of town. I was referring to errands, not carpooling because in my world there are buses available for whoever can't walk. I'd imagine that would make things very difficult. But still - you'd have parking. When the busses went on strike here it was a nightmare

amother

Royalblue

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:27 pm

amother [ Gold ] wrote:

That doesn’t account for saving/ yt/ Simcha’s really

The only yomtov where we go a bit over is pesach. I am very careful with budgeting- especially groceries.
BH, we do have savings from our earlier years, and our simchas are low key but still cost money. Still, there are bonuses and random gifts from family, and tax returns, and eventually it all evens out. I have revolving debt of around 20k, but my credit score is good and we pay it regularly. Everytime we see it go down, we need the credit card again lol but that's life.

amother

Hotpink

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:31 pm

amother [ Smokey ] wrote:

I didnt say no family help, I said no programs. Family can give whether they want Smile

, I think.

I honestly don't know the breakdown, and I would actually love to know this myself, as we are making much more than that and not managing. That's pretty much why I asked.

So this is just guessing:
They don't have a mortgage or the rental pays the mortgage, I think.
Food - their food budget is much lower than mine. My friend will make scrambled eggs and leftover challah for supper. My other friend will serve leftovers the next night and too bad if you don't like it, that's what we're serving. (I'm more of a short order cook). In general they spend very little.
Tuition - you don't have all at once in school. At this point my friend has five tuitions, I'm guessing large scholarships?
No taxes on 100,000, 8 children Smile

.
I'm also guessing that parents helped them out with extras such as camp and Yom tov expenses...
Clothing is mostly hand me downs. Even for older children.
Honestly they all live very very simply, much much more simply than I do. And I think I live pretty simply.

nchr

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:37 pm

smileforamile wrote:

Huh- no taxes on $100K because they have 8 children? My in-laws have 10 children, income of $120K (only after many years) and never got a cent in government aid, but their taxes are high.

That doesnt sound right. With no dependents their taxes would only be around $35k assuming they are not W2. If they are W2 they shouldn't pay a lump sum (you can do prepayments not W2 as well). Add in child tax credits and deductions and they shouldnt be paying that much.

amother

Smokey

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:38 pm

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

That's $13000 a Month after taxes. Which is over $150000 a year after taxes. Thats around $200000 a year without extras or simchos

amother

Blonde

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:44 pm

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

If your dh is running a business then he probably also has to pay into health insurance. Also, that’s a really good deal on a 5 bedroom apartment in Brooklyn.