Tired of chumras. No laundry on rosh chodesh?

Debbie

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 2:15 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

I think in that case it is symbolic only. But yeah. I agree the husband should be doing laundry full out if the wife has the minhag and she is told to keep to it.

I guess that in some cases if the woman didn't do the laundry,it just wouldn't get done!

Rappel

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 2:16 pm

No laundry, cooking, sewing, etc, is not humra.

The halacha is that you cannot be MADE to do any of these things on Rosh Chodesh. You can volunteer, of course, but it's your holiday, to do with as you please.

DH is very makpid on this, so once a month he basically takes over the house. The feeling of respect and luxury from even one day a month is amazing.

amother

Natural

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 2:18 pm

Raisin wrote:

LOL that its less work to get your husband or son to do this then do it yourself.

Obviously this minhag originated at a time when laundry was really hard labour.

I think a more real minhag nowadays would be to take some quality time for yourself. Smile

Have the men cook supper. Something real like that.

I do try and keep this laundry minhag. Its not difficult if you plan in advance. I usually do laundry early in the week so its not an issue this month.

I agree to that. I focus on the spirit of the minhagim. The minhag was implemented to give women a break, to relax and enjoy the YT given to them. So I try to implement something that follows that line of thinking instead. I don't enjoy cooking (I hate the kitchen), but laundry to me is no big deal. So if possible, I celebrate Rosh Chodesh by not cooking, but to keep my laundry schedule intact.

amother

Olive

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 2:18 pm

What does the war have to do with anything?
And once a minhag becomes accepted you're supposed to keep it.
Like the ban on polygamy for ashkenazim it was placed for 1000 years. Which is up, but since that became the minhag it is not allowed anymore. (Aside from the current secular law.)

amother

Bronze

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 2:19 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My neighbor just told me no laundry on rosh chodesh. It's considered "work". What??? Why are there so many chumros some take on? Is this really what hashem wants? Why would anyone think that? And if we say we don't do work on rosh chodesh, why do all those who have jobs go into work on rosh chodesh?

No one is asking you to take on chumros, but don’t put down those who do,

Aylat

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 2:40 pm

Israeli_C wrote:

I'm so makpid, I don't sew or mend all year round and don't do laundry anytime unless the mountain bedside the washing machine resembles Everest

Haha, this is like the joke I make every year when we review the halachot of the 9 days. In the book "Guidelines" it says something like, "some ppl have a minhag not to wash the floor during the 9 days except on erev Shabbat or if it is dirty." And I say, yep, I'm always conscious of the churban and I'm makpid to keep this minhag all year round. (Who are these people who wash the floor when it isn't dirty yet? They obviously have more free time than me! Wink

)

unexpected

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 2:53 pm

My grandmother told a story about a man coming into the shtetl and seeing all the women sitting around shmoozing. So he said, "what's this? The women in this shtetl don't have any work to do?!! Are you all wealthy enough to have full time help?" So the women explained that it was Rosh Chodesh but because he spoke a slightly different dialect he thought they said that it was that time of the month. So that's how it happened that everyone in Poland knew that in such and such village all the women got their periods on the same day and none of them had strength for regular housework...

amother

Olive

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 3:37 pm

Because this minhag goes back hundreds if not a thousand years ago when it was one of the most burdensome household tasks. The modern washing machine was instrumental in the rise of feminism because of all the time it freed up for housewives.

amother

Turquoise

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 4:19 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

That is what bothers me so much in Judaism. If spirit of the minhag was to celebrate joy of Rosh Chodesh and now the same thing is really difficult for people and don’t allow to feel joyful, why do we have to keep it ? I feel like being punished for living now and not 2000 years ago . But why ??? It it’s not in the Torah, not in written or even oral, not Halacha , just a minhag of some women ???
Why do we have to suffer now from the holidays???
It’s just doesn’t make any sense , at all .
Yes I feel for my great great ... grandmothers and their suffering when doing laundry but why do I need to suffer at holidays they were NOT ?
We have so many minhagim that now are just the opposite from what they were meant to be Sad

amother

Olive

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 4:24 pm

I really wouldn't call this suffering. Not doing laundry for 24 hours. And btw, if it is really needed, no rabbi would say you can't do it. You are being a trifle dramatic.

Besides, what you say about observing shabbos? Which comes every week, not once a month. And is way more restrictive. Jewish law. Not a minhag

And btw, if Jews hadn't been so stubborn about keeping up with traditions, we probably wouldn't be around anymore.

amother

Turquoise

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 4:54 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

Shabbat is Shabbat and all the restrictions are Halacha . And I do enjoy it .
There so many beautiful and wise traditions ! If we can throw away those that really not in the spirit of joy anymore , we will be left so many traditions that we really want to keep ! Or we can invent new ones. I hope that washing machines are here to stay so we can instead do something else . And in a thousand Years from now we still have Traditions Smile

amother

Natural

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 5:08 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

It's not suffering. It's just an extra pressure instead of being a wanted something. The point of the minhag was to give women something to look forward to and celebrate, not something that inconveniences them. Celebrating with acts that were meaningful 2000 years ago, doesn't really fill the reason behind the minhag today. We're doing a physical act, but have lost the intent & concept of the minhag. It's sort of like focusing on an external, while overlooking the internal.

amother

Olive

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 5:10 pm

Judaism is not about a spirit of joy, though it may be a by product.
It is a code of behavior and a way of life that may be difficult at times. But I choose to do it anyway and I personally do find beauty and joy in being connected to my ancestors in a meaningful way. So you can look at this minhag (NOT a chumrah) as a form of suffering, or as a way to realize the women who came before you were deeply connected to the Torah and the shared history of receiving it (remember it is a way to celebrate women for not participating in the Egel) and that I am proud to be connected to that. It brings meaning to my every day ordinary sort of existence to realize that those women led ordinary type of lives too in which every day tasks were a given.
It's how you look at it, bringing meaning to the mundane.
Besides, I wish the pressure of having to abstain from laundry once a month was the biggest pressure I have to deal with in life. Calling this suffering is way overdone.

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 5:19 pm

Wow! It is so interesting to see how someone can have the exact opposite mindset as me. My family took upon the minhag of refraining from doing laundry on rosh chodesh and I feel so lucky to be be part of that! I feel like it is my special "mitzva" as part of a jewish womean.
I do not at all view it as a chumra or burden.

tigerwife

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 6:43 pm

This thread is mind-boggling. I’m floored that so many women are upset about not having to do laundry once or twice a month. I mean, there are a lot of annoying restrictions out there to complain about if you must, but this?!