potty training regression

amother

Wed, Dec 26 2007, 4:18 pm

ugghh!!!!

my dd didn't get "trained" until she was 3.5...but she has always had accidents here and there...she waits to go to the potty until she can't make it in time. the accidents are usually in the bathroom (as she is pulling down her underwear)...they have almost always happened at home

I would clean it up, not much reaction to it, etc....

now, at 4.2 yrs old, she is having many more accidents and not just at home (school, friends house, etc)...so I got fed up w/cleaning up all the time. I give her an option of pull up or to go to the potty if I see her dancing too much....she usually chooses pull up....fine, less mess for me if she doesn't get there in time....only now, she is using it way more, and even made #2 in it yesterday.

I am so frustrated with this (just wish she would do it already)...it's shtick...she knows how and when to go to the potty...but its a control thing (hence giving her pull up- her choice, I'm not reminding her to go constantly)....

I'm about to start sending my 4.2 yr old to school in a pull up (she just had an accident on the bus today)....

suggestions, chizuk, anything...please...thanks!

BoomChickaPop

Wed, Dec 26 2007, 6:16 pm

I realize that you are giving her a choice bet. a pull-up or going on the toilet and she chooses pull-up often, but what if you added an incentive to it, like a jellybean for going in the toilet?

amother

Wed, Dec 26 2007, 7:15 pm

well, we initially used "winkies" for rewards (although I;m not a fan of food rewards) or other small prizes...she became either compulsive about wanting the food treats (even if she didn't make) or ungrateful and lost interest in the prizes...

I'm not interested in doing the same thing we did to "train" her to begin w/bc it didn't work well....we have always had these accidents...

I'm beginning to become concerned about her age and not being fully trained (by day), as well as the schools requirements....

thanks for the feedback

ChossidMom

Wed, Jan 30 2008, 1:59 pm

You are not alone.
I have a 4 year old who has been "almost trained" for ages. She still has accidents as well and sometimes #2 "accidents".
First of all I prize for success. My parenting teacher taught me to make up a big pekaleh and have it in full view. Whoever asks gets told that it's for the 4 year old when she does #2 in the toilet. Also, I give a toffee for every pee in the toilet. Sometimes she's too lazy to come inside from playing and holds it in a bit too long. Then we get puddles on the floor.
I am finding that you just have to have alot of patience and forbearance and keep chugging along.
Oh yeah. I also punish her now if she poohs in her pants. There is NO excuse for that. I wash her in cold water and make her sit on a little chair in her room till I tell her to come out (door's open). She needs to understand that this is wrong. But, I don't get all worked up and angry about it because that is what she would want. Gotta stay cool, calm and collected.
I am seeing a big improvement lately, but you know, it's always 2 steps forward and one step back. We'll get there eventually!!

Shif

Wed, Jan 30 2008, 6:13 pm

OP here.

well, we have had a lot of progress, B"H!!!!!!
and you know what worked? not prizes, not punishments, but asking the dr. to talk to her! The dr. told her that if she holds her pee/poopy in too long she will get sick...b/c the dr. told her the importance, it made her much more cooperative. that helped the stupid accidents on the way to the bathroom.

However, the accidents where she does on purpose, they still happen, just much less....the other day she was so upset about something I wouldn't let her do...she started peeing right then and there! I told her that it wasn't okay and made her clean it up...chutzpah! my mother-in-law was right there and was very confused as to what was leaking on the floor...and probably wondered why I reacted so firmly (she was telling dd that it was okay ppl make mistakes)....it was no doubt out of spite that dd did that.....

anyways, just sharing what has worked so far...hatzlacha chossidmom

Tovah

Tue, Feb 12 2008, 9:20 pm

I have this problem with my almost 4 yr old. she is too lazy to go to the bathroom and will occasionally have accidents . I tried this once and it worked for almost a week, the problem is I wasn't consistently abt it, but b''h she's better. . tell ur child if she is going to have accidents then she has to stay home from school, keep her home until she has no accidents in that day. and if u see she has an accident again she has to stay home from school until dry.