ISO Yeshiva or School for 14 y.o ds: ADHD, authority issues

motheringmother

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 11:21 am

Hi Moms! I am at crisis crossroads with my d.s., who just finished 8th grade. He's extremely bright, and thinks he knows everything better than everyone. He often does...the problem is the he lacks the most basic life skills. He has had a lot of psychiatric help and it's helped somewhat with the aggression and ADHD but at this point is he just not doing well. He doesn't wake up in the morning, struggles mightily with scheduling, gets easily irritated and even aggressive. He does not accept authority, thinking that he knows better than everyone else. This means that even though he's bright, he actually hasn't been learning recently, refusing to take exams if he's not in the mood, getting angry at teachers if he thinks they're being unreasonable, not following rules, etc.

I am looking for any sort of resources that I might access for him: Do schools or yeshivas that are tailored for these kinds of boys exist? I know there are all sorts of non-Jewish boarding schools that deal with these kinds of issues, and am hoping I could find something like that in the Jewish world.

Hashem_Yaazor

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 12:08 pm

There are some people who help find the right fit for boys entering high school/yeshiva. I've heard of a Rabbi Gluck in Monsey, someone in Chicago, etc...I don't know any of them personally but perhaps speaking to one of these people who help match up boys with schools would help.

Is there a reason you're only starting your search now? I feel bad that it's so late in the summer and some schools that perhaps would be options may be full Sad

motheringmother

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 12:45 pm

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

Is there a reason you're only starting your search now? I feel bad that it's so late in the summer and some schools that perhaps would be options may be full Sad

Because of custodial issues, I did not have control about where to put him before. Those same issues are also the reason things have gone on for so long and gotten this bad.

motheringmother

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 2:21 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

Where do you live? What kind of school are you looking for?

I live in Connecticut but am open to pretty much anything, geographically, although of course, closer is always better.
I am likewise open to any kind of school that would has the skills and resources to address ds's needs.

amother

Blue

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 4:02 pm

Can't help much with your search but I've dealt with same kind of issues and I wish lots of haztlacha in finding a place that will be able to help him grow into a mensh!
You should have loads of nachas!

motheringmother

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 4:38 pm

studying_torah wrote:

What about a therapeutic school? Idk what is available in Connecticut but in NJ there is Sinai, Sage or Windsor Academy.

I would definitely be open to considering this. Do you know of any frum kids who have attended these kinds of schools with success?

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 4:45 pm

You can try rabbi Strauss in Lakewood.
He is very good at pairing up a boy with a yeshiva.
I’m wondering who you could speak with regarding your relationship with your son. There is a Rabbi Wahl in Lakewood who deals with defiant kids. His main message is to love them, make them feel like you value them and they will feel better about themselves and start to conform. I’m not sure if he can help you long distance but it’s worth a try.

Rabbi Strauss # - 732-370-2874
He doesn’t charge anything

Here is something posted today by rabbi wahl

https://www.thelakewoodscoop.c......html

motheringmother

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 4:46 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

https://jewishresidentialtreatment.com/

Thank you! This seems like a great program and one that actually might be appropriate to his needs.

The problem is it's in Israel. The idea of sending my 13 year old so far away is not one I am ready for, especially given his challenges. I want to be able to both see him and be involved in his care and education, neither of which will be possible.

But would love this kind of thing stateside of that exists!

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 6:12 pm

motheringmother wrote:

I hear you. And I have zero connection to this program. I learnt about it from a family in Europe who sent their son there and were extremely happy with the results. (Europe is much closer than the US, but just sayin'...)

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 6:17 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

https://jewishresidentialtreatment.com/

Wow... this is an amazing program!
I’m wondering how much it costs?
If anyone knows of something similar in the USA please post!

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 7:15 pm

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

Wow... this is an amazing program!
I’m wondering how much it costs?
If anyone knows of something similar in the USA please post!

Not cheap!

http://mylearningalternative.com/tuition/

motheringmother

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 7:22 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

Oh, that's so good to hear! Can you tell us a little about their experience with the program? And what kind of challenges did their son have?

Thank you!

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 7:41 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

Not cheap!

http://mylearningalternative.com/tuition/

Omg! That’s $70,000 a year! How do people do it??
My very very challenging 13 year old who needs so much therapy, tutors, mentors, extra curricular things etc is costing us a fortune. (Which is why I’m following this thread... for ideas...)Including tuition we probably shell out about $35,000-$40,000 just for this one child. We keep asking ourselves how we can afford to do this? We have come to the conclusion that we are saving his life (hopefully) and what doesn’t one do to save a life?? But $70,000?? I KNOW they are REALLY, REALLY helping these kids but it seems unaffordable.

amother

Honeydew

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 12:41 am

motheringmother wrote:

Oh, that's so good to hear! Can you tell us a little about their experience with the program? And what kind of challenges did their son have?

Thank you!

I know he has severe ADHD. I don't remember much about their experience (this was a while ago, sorry) but they really had masses of confidence in it.