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ISO Yeshiva or School for 14 y.o ds: ADHD, authority issues
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amother




Honeydew


Post  Mon, Jul 22 2019, 12:42 am
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:
Omg! That’s $70,000 a year! How do people do it??
My very very challenging 13 year old who needs so much therapy, tutors, mentors, extra curricular things etc is costing us a fortune. (Which is why I’m following this thread... for ideas...)Including tuition we probably shell out about $35,000-$40,000 just for this one child. We keep asking ourselves how we can afford to do this? We have come to the conclusion that we are saving his life (hopefully) and what doesn’t one do to save a life?? But $70,000?? I KNOW they are REALLY, REALLY helping these kids but it seems unaffordable.


Can't argue with that - it's a huge amount. I guess it's more than you're currrently paying partly because of the dorm aspect?
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amother




Puce


Post  Mon, Jul 22 2019, 3:05 am
I work in a therapudic dorm in Israel - it's not relevant because it's in hebrew and you need to come thru the the revacha.
I just want you to keep in mind that these kind of programs usually lump together kids with all kinds of behavioral issues and depending how bad the situation already is you want to consider that before you send to such a program.
For example, if you are dealing with behavior issues and defiance but not drugs you wouldn't want him to be in a place where a lot of the kids are doing drugs...

Just look into this when choosing a school.
Hatzlacha
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Mon, Jul 22 2019, 5:04 am
If anyone knows anything about Sinai can you please say more?
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amother




Yellow


Post  Mon, Jul 22 2019, 9:27 am
I am in the middle of the search for a therapeutic school for my son with similar issues (plus high functioning autism). We live a few hours away from NY/NJ area.

Sinai school is a not a true therapeutic school (it has small classes and extra help, but doesn't have a thereutic milleu set up). It also doesn't have a dorm, so unless you have a close family member in the area, it might not be a workable option. Non Jewish therapeutic schools mostly have kids referred by the school district, although some of them accept private pay. Keep in mind that the tuition is $80,000 per year. According to the education lawyer I consulted, the kid needs to be in the public school system for at least a year and not do well, until they would consider a placement in the therapeutic school. I am in a different New England state, so CT might be different.

Hatzlacha with your search and may Hashem grant you lots of strength and patience to deal with this!
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amother




Ecru


Post  Mon, Jul 22 2019, 11:12 am
just want to say your post describes my ds to a T (just add HFA) school in general is not a good fit for him:(
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studying_torah




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jul 22 2019, 12:34 pm
I'm not sure what makes Sinai a non therapeutic school per se, but they do have a full staff of therapists on hand.
However they are more for kids w learning issues that impact their behavior, as opposed to just for behavioral issues. They will be honest if they think they can handle his behavior issues or not.


Your child does not need to be in public school for a year, but there is a lot to go thru that the school & their lawyer will help you with.
Correct there is no dorm. But kids do travel in from all over .
Fyi I dont work for them, I just know some things about them.
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Mama Bear




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jul 23 2019, 9:42 am
motheringmother wrote:
I live in Connecticut but am open to pretty much anything, geographically, although of course, closer is always better.
I am likewise open to any kind of school that would has the skills and resources to address ds's needs.


You live in CT? Do Waterbury, New Haven, or Stamford have anything for you?
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motheringmother




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jul 23 2019, 4:05 pm
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
I am in the middle of the search for a therapeutic school for my son with similar issues (plus high functioning autism). We live a few hours away from NY/NJ area.
...

Hatzlacha with your search and may Hashem grant you lots of strength and patience to deal with this!


Thank you so much! I'd love to discuss this more--are you willing to talk or chat via pm? If so, can you pm me? Thank you!


Last edited by motheringmother on Tue, Jul 23 2019, 4:09 pm; edited 1 time in total
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motheringmother




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jul 23 2019, 4:08 pm
Mama Bear wrote:
You live in CT? Do Waterbury, New Haven, or Stamford have anything for you?


From what I've found so far, no. New Haven has amazing pediatric mental health care from Yale, but no schools that would be appropriate.

Also, while I live in CT now, I am willing to move within the tri-state area for my son's care / education.

Would also love to hear from anybody who has any experience at all working with the public school system and/or trying to get a district to pay for some of these schools.

Thanks all!
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amother




Apricot


Post  Tue, Jul 23 2019, 4:30 pm
Bais menachem in wilks-baree pa
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aliavi




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jul 23 2019, 9:27 pm
If he already has an IEP the public schools have to help, no?
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motheringmother




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jul 23 2019, 9:46 pm
aliavi wrote:
If he already has an IEP the public schools have to help, no?


I'm not sure. I've never worked at all with the public school system. Does anybody have experience (in CT, NY, or NJ) getting the school district's help with this kind of thing?

(When we lived in New York a few years ago, he did have an IEP and got OT and SETTS in yeshiva / at home from the board of ed. At this point, that kind of tangential support is not going to cut it for him.)
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TwinsMommy




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jul 23 2019, 11:24 pm
Public school must give a free appropriate public education to everyone. So my son with autism, who was kicked out of public school, is now in a behavior placement paid for by the district. It's not perfect and it's certainly not Jewish, but it's free. You can come at it by choosing a school and paying out of pocket, or going with the public school routine (they place him and if it works, great--- and if it doesn't work, THEY pay for a diff placement) for free. For me it was more important that he was in a setting that wouldn't make his issues worse than that he be in a Jewish setting (no Jewish setting in our state is likely NOT to kick him out, anyway!). I say yes--- register him in public school--- for the most part they have a heck of a lot more to offer kids like ours than Jewish schools (except for the few mentioned in this thread but I don't know much about any of them--- I do know that a friend of mine IS sending to the Chicago one (Shaarei Adirim?) this fall and her son is a million times higher functioning than mine--- so I don't know that they take kids with issues like my son's.
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motheringmother




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jul 23 2019, 11:29 pm
TwinsMommy wrote:
Public school must give a free appropriate public education to everyone. So my son with autism, who was kicked out of public school, is now in a behavior placement paid for by the district. It's not perfect and it's certainly not Jewish, but it's free. You can come at it by choosing a school and paying out of pocket, or going with the public school routine (they place him and if it works, great--- and if it doesn't work, THEY pay for a diff placement) for free. For me it was more important that he was in a setting that wouldn't make his issues worse than that he be in a Jewish setting (no Jewish setting in our state is likely NOT to kick him out, anyway!). I say yes--- register him in public school--- for the most part they have a heck of a lot more to offer kids like ours than Jewish schools ....


Thanks so much, this is really helpful! I completely share your priorities here -- I need a school that has the resources to actually help him.

Someone mentioned that kids have to be in public school for a year before they are able to get placed in a more specialized school by the district-- was that your experience? Also, would you be comfortable sharing what state you are in?

Thanks again!


Last edited by motheringmother on Tue, Jul 23 2019, 11:40 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Pewter


Post  Tue, Jul 23 2019, 11:33 pm
Unfortunately, while PS is required to place every child, they don't always have an appropriate placement. Particularly for those with significant behavioral challenges, a poor fit can make things worse. Just something to keep in mind, though I hope you do find a great placement.
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TwinsMommy




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jul 23 2019, 11:39 pm
I'm in Ohio--- Cleveland---- and yes---- here, and probably anywhere, it's the easiest road to get the district to pay for alternative placement when public school placement has failed. I don't know if there's a one year rule anywhere, but I think that's a reasonable amount of time to play by their rules. I played for much longer. Smile My son didn't get kicked out of public school until 4th grade and he started the week he turned 3. If they feel they HAVE a program for your son (self contained ED class with a low ratio, for instance, or gifted program with a 1:1 aide for behaviors, or what have you-- public schools have all sorts of goodies that Jewish schools just don't) --- then to get the district to pay for anything you'll want to try what they offer. I didn't go into public school expecting alternative placement--- I just knew I had a kid (two, actually) that our Jewish schools just simply cannot serve. Actually, his twin sister COULD handle one of our Jewish schools with just a 1:1 aide, I believe--- -however I was unable to get funding for the type of aide needed (a seminary grad could be paid for with our state autism scholarship, but an rBT supervised by a BCBA which is what I believe my daughter needs---- medicaid was willing to pay for just 20 hours a week of that and that wouldn't cut it for her so she stays in public-- if I would give up the public school offerings for her, I'd want to replace it in a Jewish school with something I know could work well for her and she needs more than 20 hours a week of real help in a Jewish school setting).

When public school kicked him out I simply had to tour the school they offered and agree to it. If I hated it I would have fought for something else, but nothing local here that would have worked for this kid is Jewish. So I've got a daughter in public school with a highly trained intervention specialist who pushes in and pulls out AND has aides assisting her with behaviors in all classes, and a son who was kicked out of public who is in a therapeutic placement where all staff is TCI trained, etc.
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