Kids were sent home

amother

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 10:55 am

Because of our tuition balance.
All cc are maxed out. No groceries either anymore.
My husband is working his head off. I worked till the summer for pennies.

I'm crying my eyes out.

Thanks for listening. Can't talk to anyone IRL abt it. Just a vent. Embarrassing situation. My kids are so innocent to be in this mess Crying

How can a mosad be so ruid to their own people...

162

amother

Mauve

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 11:04 am

Oh hugs!!!!!

This happened to me in high school. I was IN MIDDLE OF taking a final and got called to the office. They mentioned something about tuition, but my head was still in my final. So I nodded and went back to my classroom to finish the final. 10 minutes later, the administrator comes barging into the classroom and announces in front of the class that I shouldn't have come back to finish the final and I need to go home. I was shaking from mortification. So I left the classroom again and explained (on the verge of tears) that I should be allowed to finish my final, and if the teacher decides to not mark it because my parents didnt pay tuition, then let her not mark it. The administartor was fuming. But I marched right back into my classroom and finished my final.

My stomach is churning just typing that out! It was so so awful. My father was out of a job and depressed, and my mother was desperately working her tush off to support 7 kids and stay sane. It was so tough at home, and this story was just disgusting and a little scarring.

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amother

Bronze

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 11:11 am

amother [ Mauve ] wrote:

That is just terrible Crying

I’m so sorry

amother

Linen

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 11:23 am

That is just terrible! I'm so sorry you have to go through this!

I remember being called into the office when I was in high school and being asked if my parents sent in a check or not. I was so embarrassed and I was thinking why the heck are you asking me you moron?! It's not fair to hurt children like this, what does it teach them?! I do know that embarrassment is a kaparah so use this at a chance to daven cuz you have a clean slate! Hope all gets better.

amother

Orange

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 11:28 am

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

I second this.. it is not fair to punish children for this! The school should work it out with parents privately

The school should. But I do wonder, particularly with respect to the high school student (who ABSOLUTELY should have been allowed to take the final) if the parents were told, but elected to send the kids anyway, figuring the school wouldn't kick them out.

But there's lot of blame to go around.

Every time someone here says "buy a big house now, because that way you'll get more aid," remember, that's aid that didn't go to the woman whose father lost his job.

Every time someone says "why should I work, the money will just go to the school," remember that the financial aid went to that woman's family -- because she decided she'd rather not pay -- not to the person who genuinely couldn't pay due to illness, or losing a job.

Every time someone gives some story about how they COULD pay tuition, but the community owes it to them to pay so they can stay home, or go on lavish vacations (note I said lavish, not any vacation) or whatever other gashmiut they claim they need, that means that the family that the school isn't going to have that money for someone who has not choice.

gibberish

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 11:29 am

amother [ Mauve ] wrote:

How terrible!! No child should have to deal with that! Crying

honeymoon

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 11:39 am

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

Good points, but never should children have to suffer because of things that are out of their control. Their parents' mistakes, finances, stupidity, dysfunction, ego, or arrogance should stay the parents' problem. Involving the kids and using them as pawns is unfair and possibly traumatic.

Most parents are mature adults with whom you can discuss things in a civil manner. The school can work out a payment plan with the parents. Or they can offer a steep discount. Or they can forgo payment for the time being. Whatever works. But the kids should have the ability to learn and grow in a safe environment without their parents' issues shadowing their blissful childhood.

octopus

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 11:39 am

amother [ Mauve ] wrote:

You must be a very strong person that you were able to assert at such a young age what you felt you should do. I know at that age all my words would have been stuck inside on the tip of my tongue, but would not have been able to get them out.I'm so happy you finished taking your final (as you should!).

To the op: I'm so sorry you are going through this. This is so crushing.

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 11:51 am

Do you mean that they were sent home from camp? If so, camp is an extra and if you can’t afford it, you shouldn’t simply send your kids without paying.
I have 3 of my kids home now because I cannot afford camp (and they don’t seem to love it anyway). But it’s hard being different...

When I was in high school I asked my teacher what grade I got on the final and... she wouldn’t tell me! She said that the grades were mailed with the report card and if I didn’t get my report card in the mail it was because my parents owed tuition. I was so humiliated by her answer.

amother

cornflower

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 11:55 am

Op! Im so so sorry this is happening! Wish I had advice. Just hugs ! And eishing you hatzlacha with your parnassah and in everything !

This happened to my siblings last year. I live thousands of miles away from my family. And all I could do , was cry. And cry.
Cry for my innocent siblings who did nothing to deserve being sent home.
And cry for my parents- who are honest, hard working, poor middle- class tax paying people, who can't seem to make ends meet. (Mind you my dad is actually a teacher ! What a pity that the educators themselves have to struggle.. but that's a separate topic for discussion .)

amother

Jetblack

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 11:55 am

Oy OP, my heart is breaking for your kids. It's absolutely awful of a school to treat kids like this. I'd definitely involve a Rav and make a stink about this.
Did you get any warning that your kids might get sent home? Even with a warning, it's still not OK to send kids home during the day, but parents shouldn't send kids if they had gotten a warning that the kids will be sent home.

amother

Apricot

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 12:42 pm

My daughter didn't get her report card once, because we were several months behind with tuition. I begged the woman in charge, who knew me personally, to give it to my dd, and I promised to cover the entire amount, slowly over several weeks. She refused. I ended up taking an extra job, and paying every last cent. My daughter hasn't received her report card yet, it got misplaced.... it still hurts now, several years later. I felt so helpless. Our financial situation pinched me from all directions. I felt it every hour of every day. I at least wanted to shield my kids from the stress Sad

op , I'm crying for you and davening for a major bracha in your parnassa very soon!

amother

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 12:45 pm

Thanks everyone for sharing with my pain. Sharing is caring.
To the one that asked about camp. No, it's daycamp and cheder for boys.
They called me about pahmo, I asked them what deal or how we can work something out... Nothing doing.
Im embarrassed to involve the rav. I cried my eyes out to hashem when I put down the phone with the administrator and all of a sudden my kids came marching I tot he house... I can start crying again just while typing.. I felt my kids humiliation till my inner bone!
Thx for the supper offer. I'm doing easy and cheap. I'm not comfortable taking and being exposed... Even my parents don't know our situation.

While I'm typing my son is yelling out of the porch, I went to cheder but I came home earlier Hiding