Spinoff- how many kids do u have

amother

Apricot

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 3:28 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

no what ends up happening is that the working parents who have less kids (who are not rich) spend a fortune on tuition because the school needs to run and pay their staff. if you have a bunch of kids that you cant afford and schools are giving you drastic breaks, its in someone elses cheshbon. and because others just think "it all works out" these responsible, working parents with less kids are absorbing the costs which is completely not fair and not tzedaka.

Not all schools do this.

amother

Aquamarine

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 3:29 pm

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

Well, OP, I have 9 wonderful children. I can't afford tuition.

I am being irresponsible, right?

I know for a fact that the world would turn over to raise 2 million for me if one of my kids was sick, but because I need help with tuition, I should have turned down the opportunity of brightening the world with these delicious little people?

Who knows if YOUR next child wouldn't be the one to discover a cure for cancer, or to solve the tuition crisis?

I'm getting the feeling that you would prefer to eradicate "the poor" altogether. Because being a taker is selfish, entitled, and unnecessary. Well, aside for the fact that Hashem created the world with givers and takers.

So you're perfectly content to plan your life to be a chronic taker?

ונא אל תצריכנו... לא לידי מתנת בשר ודם

amother

Magenta

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 3:40 pm

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

So you're perfectly content to plan your life to be a chronic taker?

ונא אל תצריכנו... לא לידי מתנת בשר ודם

Just wow.

For the record Bh my husband is doing very nicely and we pay full tuition every month on time. We’re chasiddish and tuition is not that high (accordingly)
In addition my husband gives a couple of extra thousand dollars each year when they fundraise so the ppl with large families can get tuition breaks. And yes we are totally ok with that and don’t consider the ppl we help takers. We know that they are doing their best to pay wtvr they can.
I physically cannot handle so many pregnancies so I’m happy to help other people who are trying to make up the 6 mil we lost. I consider it a blessing and a privilege.

And same goes for yt- anyone that reaches out for help We will help and no I don’t ask how many kids they have or not. Hashem should help us to be able continue to do that.

amother

Fuchsia

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 3:59 pm

amother [ Magenta ] wrote:

👏

This is beautiful.

amother

Bronze

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 4:20 pm

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

So you're perfectly content to plan your life to be a chronic taker?

ונא אל תצריכנו... לא לידי מתנת בשר ודם

Actually, I would consider myself a giver more than a taker. I run free children's programs, give of my time and talent to help others whenever possible, and try my hardest to raise healthy, giving children.

I don't plan to take. We both work, though I don't work full time. There are some times when we can't pay any tuition. Other times when we're only behind by a few hundred. I don't WANT to take, but when I don't have any choice, I appreciate that others are willing to help with the money they earned with THEIR time and talent.

And that particular quote ("Vena al tatzricheinu") is a prayer, a request - not a basic lifestyle tenet of Jews.

amother

Magenta

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 4:20 pm

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

I happen to agree with OP and would like to ask those who disagree with her what they think of non Jews who are on welfare and continue to have multiple kids?

We can go into that on another thread but please don’t compare holy neshamos that serve Hashem to kids who statistically end up on the streets doing drugs.

amother

Cerise

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 4:21 pm

amother [ Magenta ] wrote:

We can go into that on another thread but please don’t compare holy neshamos that serve Hashem to kids who statistically end up on the streets doing drugs.

Lovely
Nice stereotyping

amother

cornflower

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 4:23 pm

amother [ Magenta ] wrote:

We can go into that on another thread but please don’t compare holy neshamos that serve Hashem to kids who statistically end up on the streets doing drugs.

That is a classic false dichotomy.

amother

Blue

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 4:24 pm

What's mandatory when cheshboning how many children to have?
Summer camp? Braces? Snack bags,everyday or shabbos only? Paper goods or dishes to wash?
Taxes are going up, gas also so no mini van for me!
Wow! Not sure if I can afford another one ...let me speak to my accountant ! Can't Believe It

ectomorph

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 4:24 pm

Taking isn't only financial. A rich person can give money, but take time, emotional resources, use educational and medical help.

If taking is so bad, maybe you should never go to the doctor. You're taking their time and expertise.

Having a child is not taking. It's giving another child to the community.

weasley

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 4:42 pm

amother [ Magenta ] wrote:

We can go into that on another thread but please don’t compare holy neshamos that serve Hashem to kids who statistically end up on the streets doing drugs.

Kids on the streets doing drugs are holy neshomas too - in alot of pain.

amother

Lilac

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 5:01 pm

amother [ Magenta ] wrote:

So you're saying this doesn't apply to you because even though you k'h have a large family, you're still a giver. That's obviously not the case with most large families. Most large families have boxed themselves in a financial corner where they can only take. Just look how many threads there are here with people desperate for money.

amother

Bronze

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 5:01 pm

I think that the underlying problem here is that you view children as a liability that you need to be able to justify or afford.

I (and I think the Jewish way is to) view children as an asset. To their families, to their communities, and to the world.

If we value every mitzvah, a family raising 10 children as Jews is exponentially contributing to the world.

amother

Lilac

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 5:04 pm

ectomorph wrote:

Respectfully, your examples don't make sense. When someone sees a doctor, they are not "taking" from the doctor. It is a mutually beneficial arrangement where the doctor gets paid and the patient receives care.
This is not exactly comparable to someone with 13 kids knocking on my door for hachnasas kalla.

unexpected

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 5:23 pm

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

I happen to agree with OP and would like to ask those who disagree with her what they think of non Jews who are on welfare and continue to have multiple kids?

I actually don't think of them at all. I don't personally know any...

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 5:27 pm

So basically the people who have more kids than they can afford have a bit of a communist attitude- like, it's ok to help myself to the family pot, because it's all in the family, kind of thing. And people I am taking from should be happy about it since I am doing them a huge favor by producing all of these children I can't afford to raise

Wow. This is interesting. And a very unique way of looking at and living life. And I'm not sure it's at all hashkafically sound, although I don't know. Since it's literally the first time I've encountered this attitude and approach to life

amother

Magenta

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 5:27 pm

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

Keep in mind that Ima doesn’t even remotely encompass the majority of Jewish ppl in the world and def not the ones with very large families.