5 yr old doesn’t listen

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Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 8:02 am
5 yr old ds doesn’t listen to anyone. Ever. Sometimes he laughs n moves on. Sometimes he disregards. Sometimes he whines or tantrums.
When I send everyone to put on pajamas he just won’t go. When I tell him again he whines n fusses. When everyone comes down n goes to play outside he tantrums cuz he can’t. But he still refuses to put on pajamas. He will literally sit on the floor n scream rather than get dressed. Come to the table for a meal. Put away a toy. Get ready for a bath... he doesn’t even wipe his but or flush the toilet. If someone walks into the bathroom n the toilets not flushed we know it was him. And there’s no tissues. Cuz he won’t wipe up.
Also he denies everything. Even when I see him spill out the flowerpot he’ll insits he didn’t make the mess.
Pls Help me
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Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 8:30 am
Rewards, aka bribes.
He figured out how to get your attention. Ignore the bad behavior, don't give I thought to tantrums, and reward him for any good thing he does. Make sure he knows hell be rewarded.
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Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 9:03 am
Is it possible that he is not capable of doing those things on his own? Did you ever have him evaluated?
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Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 10:39 am
Where is your husband during all of this? Does he step in and support your authority? Does he think it's cute? Does he give DS the feeling that 5 more minutes of delaying is OK?
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Post  Mon, Aug 12 2019, 10:53 am
I agree with pewter. I find I get the most pushback from my kids when I am asking for something beyond their abilities. Its really hard because I so badly want them to be able to do these things for themselves and I tel myself hes 5 hes totally capable. But age does not correlate to skills so I try and tell myself that. I also find that for some kids like my 8 year old that acts of service are his love language. When I hand him his clothes, or get him a cup of water it makes him feel loved.

I have learned also that I need to break tasks into smaller parts for my kids to complete them. First put on your pants, then your shirt etc. Its hard but it has cut my stress levels down a lot.
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