English Names | Imamother

amother

Pink

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 2:05 pm

groovy1224 wrote:

I gave my kids legal "English" names, not because I am ashamed of them having an ethnic name, but literally just to make their lives easier. My husband's legal name is Michael and it's so nice that he almost never has to spell it for anyone. Sounds silly but the amount of time I spend spelling MY name over the phone really adds up!

So I gave my kids nice easy to spell names (I.e. Rachel, John, Thomas) so they can save themselves the trouble.

I do it for the same reason. Not because I'm embarrassed of their Hebrew names, but because it simplifies things. One of my kids has her Hebrew name as her legal name too, mostly because I was too lazy to come up with an English name. I thought it would be simple to pronounce correctly but turns out I was wrong Banging head

amother

Smokey

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 2:15 pm

two of my kids have Hebrew names. one is relatively easy and it's becoming popular among secular people anyway. the other is...a bit difficult, but most people pronouce it fine after hearing it once. I have another child with a secular, non-jewish name, but this child is adding a jewish name with a hyphen, so two first names. I have a hebrew name, pretty pronounceable, but I get called by a nickname all the time, which just so happens to be a boys name lol.

amother

Apricot

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 2:25 pm

Your poll measures how our parents felt about English names, while your original post asks about how we feel about names. My parents gave me an English name that is not related to my Hebrew name. I use it, and feel it is disrespectful to my parents to minimize its value. However, I chose to give my children the same or related names in English and Hebrew.

amother

Tan

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 3:56 pm

amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:

Tan, I think I read that Jews started to give additional secular names during the times of Bavel. When Jews started being exiled there. So it goes back some time, and definitely is connected to being in galus. Remember, back in Egypt the Jews hadn't received the Torah yet, and as such were not a nation yet. A family or extended clan, I guess, but not what we think of as the Jewish nation now. So they needed those markers in a way that we don't, since we have to Torah to bind us and mark us as being part of the Jewish nation.

Thanks! I never thought of that before

amother

Maroon

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 4:06 pm

I'm 50+. My American born parents didn't give us legal names because they didn't feel it was necessary for us to "pass." And while having one unpronounceable name has been a little awkward, there but for the grace of Gd go I. Certain names usually had ready translations. E.g. a Howard or a Harry was probably a Chaim. The common English version for one of my names is NOT one I would have liked to carry through life.

But I have European friends my age who give their kids legal names because they think it's safer come whatever revolution.

I also know a very Chareidi family with a kid who goes by an English name because that's what the very dear relative she was named after went by.

I say to each their own. But in every day use, yeah, I go with using your Jewish name.

singleagain

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 8:53 pm

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

I never understood why nowadays ppl give non jewish legal names. So what if the insurance person or the doctor cant pronounce the kids name correctly

Hearing your name mangled again and again can take it's toll on you. Constantly having to spell it and explain it is tiring.

#BestBubby

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 9:51 pm

amother [ Tan ] wrote:

These answers are all so interesting! I remember learning that the Jewish people in Egypt did not change their clothes, names or language and I always kind of wondered how that plays into the custom we have today of giving English names.

Today people have a "legal" secular name but use their JEWISH names in real life. I think that counts as not changing your Jewish name. Secular Jews use secular names all the time.

amother

Rose

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 9:51 pm

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

John is Yochanan. Mary is Miriam. I have Jewish relatives named Mary.

No, Miriam is Miriam. Mary (Yoshke's mother) was Miriam, but that doesn't mean that the name Miriam translates to Mary. Miriam (Moshe's sister) is still Miriam. Mary is a Christian name, and while there are Jewish Mary's, there SHOULDN'T BE!!
Miriam is a perfectly good secular name. When I was in the hospital I had two nurses Miriam. Neither one of them was Jewish.
Please don't name your Jewish child a Christian name!!
Sorry... this just really irks me.

amother

Green

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 10:15 pm

Re: Mary. My European grandmother had several Mary's in her family and it wasn't considered specifically Christian. To me it would be very odd to name a Jewish child Mary.

It's also interesting to me that my American grandparents had English names to fit in, and the European ones had German names because it was a legal requirement.

No one in my family has English names because my parents thought it was a hassle to have different names on different paperwork, and that worked out just fine for us. I watched friends have to get their high school transcripts changed when they applied to college and didn't even know how to spell their legal names, and that just seemed like a real pain.

My in-laws thought their kids should have names that are familiar to people so most of them have the Anglicized spelling of one of their Hebrew names as a legal name. It wasn't about "passing," but keeping things comfortable for people. (I actually think my husband's legal name sounds more Jewish than the name he is called.) That worked out just fine for them. And my husband knows people really frustrated by people butchering their names.

So we don't really agree on the necessity of an English name, because we've had different experiences. So far we compromised on using an English name if the Hebrew name is hard to pronounce at a glance, but not necessarily a name that matches directly.

amother

Pink

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 10:20 pm

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

I never understood why nowadays ppl give non jewish legal names. So what if the insurance person or the doctor cant pronounce the kids name correctly

Because when your darling son opens a flooring business, it's a lot easier for him to introduce himself to potential customers as "Jeremy" than as "Yirmiyahu." You say Jeremy and people understand immediately. You say Yirmiyahu and they say "what was that?" four times and then stumble over the name twice and then give up trying to say it altogether.

amother

Copper

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 10:31 pm

My name is (something very ethnic). My legal name is the same name. I use this name in my completely secular professional work environment. I do get asked to repeat it, and spell it, and every time it reminds me that I’m different and it reminds me of who I am. And I appreciate this.

To each their own.

amother

Wheat

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 10:39 pm

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

I never understood why nowadays ppl give non jewish legal names. So what if the insurance person or the doctor cant pronounce the kids name correctly

For a person living OOT there will be virtually no one that can say or spell the name. In town it’s different.

sky

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 10:48 pm

Yekkes have a tradition of giving English names. So we give.

Our rav has a book of spelling of English names in Hebrew. He suggests only using those. So yes Emma. No to Ella.

My Hebrew name is super strange in English. And I hate my English name - also strange. My coworkers who have never met a Jew (and after 15 years still don’t know I eat kosher) have adapted wonderfully to using my hebre name. Work places are so diverse I work with people of all ethnicities with all types of interesting names.

nchr

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 11:02 pm

Jews have had secular names for many years... especially women. In fact, many Yiddish names are just secular, vernacular names with a Jewish twist or none at all (I.e. Charna, Aigy, Rana, Lana, Etel, etc.) Jews had two names - religious and secular and since women were less involved in religious ceremonies, many did not have official Hebrew names. This is one reason why every man names Hersh is also Tzvi. Yiddish names don't stand alone for men because they were not considered religious names - this is also why some people don't give Yiddish names. The only secular name I can think of for a man is probably Klominus which is Greek. The only free standing Yiddish names I can think of for a man are those associated with a long life (Alter and Zaida) or Nachman and Zisha - otherwise it's always mixed with a Lashon Hakodesh name traditionally. Secular Jews may not know this and use Laib as a free standing name as opposed to Yehuda or Laib.

I personally don't care about that and would use Yiddish names for girls because it is the custom in my community. I give all of my children English names because it is pretty common/standard for boys in my community and because I like English names. I feel like Hebrew names are for religious purposes and there is nothing wrong with having an English identity at work.

amother

Vermilion

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 11:11 pm

Sometimes it's just easier not to stand out professionally. And there's nothing wrong with feeling that way. A lot depends on personality, whether you are comfortable with standing out or not. And that's ok. It bugs me when people exude an attitude of superiority over not having/giving English names (this is NOT directed at any posters on this thread, just attitudes I've come across IRL).
In any case, I wouldn't give a very non Jewish sounding name to my child but there are plenty of neutral names or English version of Hebrew ones to choose from.

amother

Lime

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 11:37 pm

nchr wrote:

Please provide a source for the bolded. I've only encountered that view, that Yiddish names are not "legitimate" Jewish names for use in a shul setting, among Reform Jews.