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Can't put 3 month old to sleep

 
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 6:40 am
Sorry, it's a bit long.
Seeking all you wise ladies help. I have a 3 month old with kh 3 other kids under 6. My baby is extremely aware from a young age kh and needs to be actively put to sleep. For some reason I cannot do it no matter how hard I try. She won't go down straight from nursing like my other babies did. My husband can put her to sleep pretty easily, but when he's not around my baby basically ends up skipping naps which is insane at this age. Especially when I'm alone with all the kids I don't have the 20 minutes it takes to put baby to sleep because the other kids need me and it doesn't work because it's not quiet enough etc. I literally tried everything and nothing works. Baby just shrieks from exhaustion but won't go to sleep. I know she's not hungry. Also she won't take a pacifier no matter how hard we try, she's not the first to not take 1. So she has no way to calm herself down. Bh she's really a good baby except for this issue which is really hard and makes me feel like a bad mother who can't even put her 4th child to sleep..
Any advice??
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enjoying kids




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 7:50 am
Will a swing help?
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 7:59 am
enjoying kids wrote:
Will a swing help?

We have a swing and she used to love it till we went away for the summer without it. Since we came back she screams when I put her in it...
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amother




Puce


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 8:51 am
Did you try wearing her in a carrier?

Oh and make sure baby doesn’t have more than 1.5-2 hits of wake time. Rocking also helped. So did singing.
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amother




Jetblack


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 8:51 am
All of my kids needed me to actively put them to sleep at that age. I currently have a very young baby too and what works now is walking around rocking/shushing him and then when he's very drowsy, like eyes fluttering, I put him down on his stomach and tap his back continuously until he's really sleeping. It's MUCH MUCH MUCH harder to put a baby to sleep once he's overtired, so make it a priority to get him to sleep as soon as you see the first sign of sleepiness. Your family will be ok, your infant is completely physically dependent on you and really needs this right now.
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MnM1130




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 9:32 am
My 3rd was the same.. And I had another child home all day so Noone would nap and I was a mess. Baby carrier helped baby slept really well and I kept a really loud sound machine in her room which also helped majorly. I was against the sound machine, but a few years later and I love them now. I put them in every room and my kids are great sleepers now. Good luck!
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tichellady




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 10:23 am
I didn’t know there were babies who aren’t like this. Can you get a mother’s helper to help with the baby or with the other kids so you can put the baby to sleep? I think most 3 month olds are not capable of self soothing, so this is normal behavior.
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amother




Dodgerblue


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 10:29 am
Swaddling saves my life every time!
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Teomima




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 10:38 am
Baby carrier. Ironically, it was my fourth week was the only one to ever go down nicely for bed and naps. Until then I only survived all my others by using a baby carrier. All my babies loved them and conked right out. Either I'd let them sleep on me while concurrently getting things done/take care of my other kids, or I'd gently remove them and get them to sleep in their crib after they fell asleep on me (often less successful). Either way, baby carriers are a lifesaver.
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cholentfan1




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 10:57 am
It is so so hard when they're young. I second a baby carrier. I did that for a bit and it meant I had my hands available. I found it easier when I lowered my expectations and anything I managed to get done was amazing. I manage to boil pasta for supper-amazing. Put a wash on-wow. Focus on the kids and see what shortcuts you can manage. It does get easier, but it's hard to see that when you're so overwhelmed.
Will the baby sleep if rocked in the pram? One of the older kids might enjoy pushing them around the house. Sometimes, I would just bundle everyone up and got out the house. I would calm down and the kids enjoyed being outdoors-sometimes just going round the block was enough. I would give them turns to choose which way to go and it was fun.
Also my first never took a pacifier either, but she did take to her 'shnuggle'. It was a little toy blankie which she took everywhere and used to chew on. Try finding some sort of soft blanket and keep it next to the baby when they're going to sleep-you could try spraying it with your perfume as well, so it smells like you, which can also be comforting.

Hatzlacha. This too shall pass. Just like at the end of pregnancy you think you can't anymore, somehow you survive. I found 3 months after baby was born, was the turning point where you start to feel slightly more sane again. My youngest is about 6 months(it's terrible how I can't remember exact ages anymore), and I'm finally feeling more myself and so is the house Very Happy
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 11:07 am
Are you familiar with the term FOMO? It means Fear Of Missing Out. Something is happening, and I want to see it! If you even breathe in my direction I'm going to be wide awake, because I don't want to miss any excitement!

Oy, it is so exhausting. BTDT. Really, this is probably your child's basic personality, and all you can do is learn to cope with it. Your child is never going to go down easy like other kids, even when they get older.

On top of it, DD hated baby wearing, because it restricted her movement. I was a frazzled mess for at least the first 6 months.

Soft music, noise machines, a small fan, and lots of Cheers for mommy.

Hang in there. You are doing nothing wrong, so don't feel like a bad mom. This is just the kid that Hashem sent you, and not all kids are super easy. The good news, is that FOMO kids are usually super smart, and will give you lots of nachas later on. You'll look back and forget all the hard times.
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jfk92




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 11:53 am
Im on board with the carrier suggestion. And at that age my baby needed tapping on the back as described in another post, after I put him down. It worked. Hatzlacha!
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 12:25 pm
So I used to be all for baby wearing but the thing is that this little one, although she's thin is very long/tall and it's really uncomfortable to wear her... I guess I might try going back to it again, it can't be healthy for her to just not nap in the afternoon at this age!

FF- totally! She totally has fomo and she's 3 months old, it's insane!!

Thanks for the encouragement everyone.
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amother




Jetblack


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 1:20 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
Are you familiar with the term FOMO? It means Fear Of Missing Out. Something is happening, and I want to see it! If you even breathe in my direction I'm going to be wide awake, because I don't want to miss any excitement!

Oy, it is so exhausting. BTDT. Really, this is probably your child's basic personality, and all you can do is learn to cope with it. Your child is never going to go down easy like other kids, even when they get older.

On top of it, DD hated baby wearing, because it restricted her movement. I was a frazzled mess for at least the first 6 months.

Soft music, noise machines, a small fan, and lots of Cheers for mommy.

Hang in there. You are doing nothing wrong, so don't feel like a bad mom. This is just the kid that Hashem sent you, and not all kids are super easy. The good news, is that FOMO kids are usually super smart, and will give you lots of nachas later on. You'll look back and forget all the hard times.


Just wanted to comment on the bolded. Not the case for my kids at all! Please don't worry about the future. Infants are infants, and often their needs are very hands on. Like I said, my infants were (and are) not easy to settle to sleep. But once their nervous systems matured a bit they were able to go to sleep independently. BH my kids are great sleepers today.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 1:41 pm
amother [ Jetblack ] wrote:
Just wanted to comment on the bolded. Not the case for my kids at all! Please don't worry about the future. Infants are infants, and often their needs are very hands on. Like I said, my infants were (and are) not easy to settle to sleep. But once their nervous systems matured a bit they were able to go to sleep independently. BH my kids are great sleepers today.


You are right. I take that part back. You never know how kids will sleep as they get older, and I can't base everything on my experience.

I appreciate you catching that and pointing it out. Thanks!
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Shuly




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 3:30 pm
Swaddle her really well.
I use the Miracle Blanket at that age.

Pat and shush her while she is swaddled. Eventually they start falling asleep as soon as they're swaddled, even before the patting and shushing.
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amother




Purple


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 3:47 pm
All my kids are like that, but from a couple weeks old already! I spend more time getting them to sleep prob then nursing. Between nursing & putting to sleep I don’t have much time for anything else. Dealing with this now, also my fourth k”h, but my others are older then yours so easier. I find rocking in a rocking chair to work well, and once in a deep sleep putting my baby in a swing seems to prolong the sleep. I also find baby wearing very uncomfortable -although it does work. I’d try to put (buy if necessary) either a good stroller or rocking chair in a center room in your home, so during all the time u spend putting baby to sleep your around the other kids. I also downloaded a white noise app on my phone & it goes with me to wherever I’m putting baby to bed. Makes a huge difference. Good luck!!
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amother




Puce


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 5:19 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So I used to be all for baby wearing but the thing is that this little one, although she's thin is very long/tall and it's really uncomfortable to wear her... I guess I might try going back to it again, it can't be healthy for her to just not nap in the afternoon at this age!

FF- totally! She totally has fomo and she's 3 months old, it's insane!!

Thanks for the encouragement everyone.


I wore my baby daily (on our commute) well into toddlerhood. If it’s not comfortable to wear your baby at this age you either are using the wrong carrier or you’re not wearing it properly
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