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Treat your adult kids like adults! Stop the coddling! Vent..
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 2:53 pm
I am anon to protect my students....

I work in a high school - one of my responsibilities is attendance

I just have had it with the parents of my 12th grade parents!
Every time a student needs to miss school instead of having the kids take responsibilty, follow school absence policy (which really isn't strict) the parents call me and harrass me to "just this once let it go" she really xxxx

Seriously - they are 12th graders!
They are practically adults - how do you expect them to function in the world if you coddle them and make sure that they never have to take responsibility.
When do you think they will grow up?
Let them feel the consenquences of their actions - it really won't hurt them!
Calling me, begging me, yelling at me ect. WILL NOT HELP YOUR CHILD LONG TERM

END OF VENT
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amother




Lilac


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 3:04 pm
Just curious, how old is your oldest?
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dankbar




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 3:09 pm
I was a guest at hotel/girls camp for a week in summer. One mom could not go to sleep until her kallah came back to sleep to room on Motzei Shabbos.
For Heaven sake, she is a kallah, she is not in city or hanging out in the street....worst she is doing is shmoozing with some girls at night...

She didn't go off premises or to town even! she just was on campgrounds!

She was hysterically looking for her daughter, I thought she was talking about a little kid who got lost, I asked her how old the kid was...she tells me a kallah!


Last edited by dankbar on Sun, Sep 15 2019, 3:26 pm; edited 2 times in total
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 3:20 pm
amother [ Lilac ] wrote:
Just curious, how old is your oldest?


I am 25 - I remember being in 12th grade

We where expected to be responsible and we were!
My mother NEVER called the school to say that my cousin got married last noght therefore I shouldn't be late!

If I was late - it was my responsibility. None of my peers had their mothers call either.
Seriously do you in think that in college or in the workforce the buy *** like that?
It just wouldn't fly when I was in school - and it wasn't that long ago...

And this is in a community where girls get married right out of seminary....
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cnc




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 3:26 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I am 25 - I remember being in 12th grade

We where expected to be responsible and we were!
My mother NEVER called the school to say that my cousin got married last noght therefore I shouldn't be late!

If I was late - it was my responsibility. None of my peers had their mothers call either.
Seriously do you in think that in college or in the workforce the buy *** like that?
It just wouldn't fly when I was in school - and it wasn't that long ago...

And this is in a community where girls get married right out of seminary....


What exactly is the policy?

Because in the high school that I attended and in the high school that I worked at, that was exactly the protocol that was expected. Parents needed to call in and explain why their daughter was late or absent. Sounds very reasonable to me.
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Zehava




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 3:28 pm
Take a chill pill lady or find a new job
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amother




Denim


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 3:41 pm
OP, most high schools actually have a policy that the parents have to call in to explain why the girls are late or absent. An unexplained late or absence gets marked for detention.
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iammom




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 4:03 pm
cnc wrote:
What exactly is the policy?

Because in the high school that I attended and in the high school that I worked at, that was exactly the protocol that was expected. Parents needed to call in and explain why their daughter was late or absent. Sounds very reasonable to me.


My experience was like the poster you quoted. My mother wrote a late note or I wrote it and she signed it and I gave it to the secretary when I came. I forget the whole policy but we had a set amount of personal days IRRC
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chanatron1000




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 4:12 pm
If the parent was the one to enroll the child in the school, the child is not treated like an adult in the context of his or her enrollment in the school.
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 4:44 pm
The policy is that the student needs to come speak to me about absence within a week - if not it affects the grades of the classes missed.
These situation where mom calls a day after DD missed the deadline to tell me how I am a terrible person for letting the computerized attendance system do it s thing (I can't change anything without authorization from principal and when I told mom this she started cursing)
I mean seriously? She had a week
to talk to me!
And it's not just this mom-this is the attitude with most of our parents body-let the kids screw up and then we bully everyone into giving in to them....
Now my principal refuses to speak to the mom and wants me to be the bad guy.
For those who said I should chill - It is a VENT!!!!!
You can start a spin off with this girls mom where you talk about what a **** I am-this thread was supposed to be valadation...
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singleagain




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 4:51 pm
OP I totally hear you. And from a slightly different angle

I'm back living at home. After a divorce and depression that led to a long break in employment. I got a wonderful job two plus years ago.

My dad used to help wake me. I needed to be at work at 9, so that means out of the house at around 8. My dad would wake me anytime between 6-8. Depending on what I'd ask of him. But then I realized sometimes, I say 630, bc my plan was to shower in the morning. But then I had a really crappy night and needed to sleep an extra half hour and take a shorter shower. How was he supposed to know? Plus it stressed him out more than me.

So I finally told him "never mind. I'll figure it out. If I'm late, I'll deal with the consequences." Now, unless it's a special circumstances, I don't ask for his help. And I deal with my boss by myself.

Not the quite the same. But I did come to say "my job. My life. My responsibility" and I deal with it now.

And, if I get a crappy night sleep. And I'm goin to be late. I WhatsApp my boss and say "running late, be in by 10." Not my dad's job yo do that.
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amother




Orange


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 4:55 pm
Sounds like a terrible job. Always felt bad for the secretary when I was in H.S. she was forced to be the bad guy 😣
On another note. Maybe clean up the cursing or the thread will get locked...
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cnc




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 5:02 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The policy is that the student needs to come speak to me about absence within a week - if not it affects the grades of the classes missed.
These situation where mom calls a day after DD missed the deadline to tell me how I am a terrible person for letting the computerized attendance system do it s thing (I can't change anything without authorization from principal and when I told mom this she started cursing)
I mean seriously? She had a week
to talk to me!
And it's not just this mom-this is the attitude with most of our parents body-let the kids screw up and then we bully everyone into giving in to them....
Now my principal refuses to speak to the mom and wants me to be the bad guy.
For those who said I should chill - It is a VENT!!!!!
You can start a spin off with this girls mom where you talk about what a f**** b**** I am-this thread was supposed to be valadation...


Do you come off sounding like this when you speak to the parents? Or do you sound a little bit more professional?
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singleagain




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 5:07 pm
cnc wrote:
Do you come off sounding like this when you speak to the parents? Or do you sound a little bit more professional?


Srsly? OP said this was a vent. Both in the title and in the post you quoted. If you don't have somewhere safe to blow of steam.. then yeah .. you'd end up going off at the wrong ppl.

This sounds like it's a continuous thing that ppl try to get OP to circumvent the rules and now she's at her wits end.

Give OP a break! I bet she's professional and polite irl.
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amother




Lime


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 5:15 pm
Aren't you in the 2nd week of school? Why in the WORLD are so many kids absent?
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 5:17 pm
The cursing was a direct quote from the mom.....
Of course when I actually on the phone I keep on repeating " I hear Mrs. ..... and I am so sorry but this is the school policy...
This is obviously very frustrating when a mother is yelling and cursing at you
So I come to Imamother for some sympathy-in a clearly labled vent thread and I get more criticism....
Sheesh Can't Believe It Banging head
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amother




Seagreen


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 5:21 pm
I don't know but if a mother were "yelling and cursing" at me I would say I am sorry but I don't speak to people who are cursing that is not part of my job description goodbye". And I would tell my supervisor/principal as a heads up.
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 5:21 pm
singleagain wrote:
Srsly? OP said this was a vent. Both in the title and in the post you quoted. If you don't have somewhere safe to blow of steam.. then yeah .. you'd end up going off at the wrong ppl.

This sounds like it's a continuous thing that ppl try to get OP to circumvent the rules and now she's at her wits end.

Give OP a break! I bet she's professional and polite irl.


Thank You
And yes this is a constant thing - and the girls are constantly missing school and the parents ( our crowd is very rich and entitled) are constantly pressuring me to change things for them...
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amother




Blush


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 5:26 pm
Why do you care so much about not marking an absence?

Just let it go, it's not worth starting the year on the wrong foot with a student or a parent, this is not a big deal.
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singleagain




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 15 2019, 5:27 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thank You
And yes this is a constant thing - and the girls are constantly missing school and the parents ( our crowd is very rich and entitled) are constantly pressuring me to change things for them...


I'm sorry OP that really sucks. It's especially disheartening when your boss is throwing you under the bus instead of backing you up. I read/listen to YouTube videos of the entitled parents subreddit and that was the first thing I thought of when I read your post.

Unfortunately I don't think you can really reason with those ppl.
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