Home

Food as reward/Taking away treats as punishment
1, 2  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 10:55 am
Does rewarding using food really lead to a bad relationship with food?
Back to top

MiracleMama




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 10:56 am
Probably not for everyone. But for plenty of people, yes.
Back to top

allthingsblue




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 10:57 am
I think moderation is ok. Always using food as a reward will probably have negative effects such as eating too much junk but once in a while, mixed in with other prizes/privileges, I think it's ok.
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 11:03 am
If you think about it, food is a big motivator for everything in the "real world".
Back to top

trixx




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 11:06 am
Kids can and should get logical consequences/rewards.
Back to top

amother




Bisque
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 11:07 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Does rewarding using food really lead to a bad relationship with food?


Yes. Don’t do it.
Back to top

amother




Mauve
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 11:26 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Does rewarding using food really lead to a bad relationship with food?

Yes. Teaching that food = reward and lack of food = punishment messes up kids' relationships with food and seriously harms their abilities to eat healthfully in the future.
Don't do it.
Back to top

groovy1224




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 11:34 am
I think you need to use common sense. There's a difference between 'you don't get to finish dinner because you are fidgeting at the table' and 'you can't choose a treat at the grocery store because you are grabbing things from the shelves'

Know your child. There is no form of discipline, punishment, or reward that is one size fits all.
Back to top

amother




Ivory
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 12:06 pm
It definitely leads to an unnatural relationship towards food. Many of our frum practices are also problematic. Shabbos parties make no sense. Give a kid food when hungry but not when bored. Eating food the second the car starts also makes no sense. You are conditioning kids to eat when the car starts. You remove the natural connection between food and hunger.
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 12:58 pm
amother [ Ivory ] wrote:
It definitely leads to an unnatural relationship towards food.

Unnatural? One of the main natural rewards is food. Hunting, fishing, farming, etc. are all done for the incentive of food.
Back to top

forgetit




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 1:03 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
If you think about it, food is a big motivator for everything in the "real world".


What do you mean? The only thing I can think you may mean is a wedding or simcha or fundraiser type of thing. And even in that case, its not exclusively the food that is drawing people out.
Please explain if you mean something else.
Back to top

forgetit




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 1:08 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Unnatural? One of the main natural rewards is food. Hunting, fishing, farming, etc. are all done for the incentive of food.

That's a means to an end. After you cook dinner you may be treated to a reward called a meal, but that's not a random treat.
To answer your original OP, I don't think food in and of itself, used as a treat will harm the relationship with food, but it is not a healthy practice. Healthy food should served as necessary, never with strings attached, and junk food should be minimized as much as possible. Why use it as a reward if you can use an alternative.
And there are fantastic alternatives.
Back to top

amother




Ivory
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 1:19 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Unnatural? One of the main natural rewards is food. Hunting, fishing, farming, etc. are all done for the incentive of food.


Exactly. That's a natural relationship. Eating because you are bored, in a car, it's Shabbos afternoon, you sat still are all unnatural.
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 21 2020, 2:09 pm
Nah the anorexia thing got much worse in the "recent" decades and this was a thing in schools before
Back to top

amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Fri, Feb 07 2020, 5:32 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Unnatural? One of the main natural rewards is food. Hunting, fishing, farming, etc. are all done for the incentive of food.


That is a “natural” reward. You went fishing to catch a fish to eat for dinner so you’ll have food to eat. No one came along and said “wow, good job fishing!! Here’s some candy - you earned it!”

Same thing for farming etc.

Offering food as a reward for something else leads to unhealthy relationships with food and also diminishes the natural intrinsic reward they they earned by completing their task.
Back to top

pringles




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Feb 07 2020, 6:23 am
My mom used to use food as a punishment but rarely. Lets say if shed promise us a packet of chips each and on condition we behave a certain way, and one child didnt listen, shed take out 2 chips as a punishment. The child got upset maybe with the fact hat he was punished but he didnt really miss out.

I personally like this idea
Back to top

banana123




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Feb 07 2020, 6:27 am
pringles wrote:
My mom used to use food as a punishment but rarely. Lets say if shed promise us a packet of chips each and on condition we behave a certain way, and one child didnt listen, shed take out 2 chips as a punishment. The child got upset maybe with the fact hat he was punished but he didnt really miss out.

I personally like this idea

This and your username. Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
Back to top

amother




Seashell
 

Post  Fri, Feb 07 2020, 7:03 am
banana123 wrote:
This and your username. Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy


My username has something behind it but nothing to do with actual pringles Laugh Laugh
Back to top

amother




Babyblue
 

Post  Fri, Feb 07 2020, 9:45 am
I don't think it's so simple. Just in general it's not such a good idea, but sometimes you don't really have a choice. If we were planning an outing to the ice cream shop and some sort of misbehavior occurs, such that I feel the need to cancel the outing, that's technically "punishing with food" but what am I supposed to do, reward bad behavior and go anyway? If a child works toward a major goal and I want to give them a big reward for their efforts, I'm ok with meal at favorite restaurant being one of the options for a reward. But for general stuff, especially things that have no logical connection to food, it's best not to go down that road.
Back to top

amother




Cerise
 

Post  Fri, Feb 07 2020, 9:57 am
The problem of using food as a reward is that it elevates certain foods. Meaning you won't give chicken as a reward will you? So you set candy, cake, snacks etc. on a pedestal (when these are already foods that are more attractive to us). And therefore people can end up having a twisted relationship with these kind of foods.
We should be able to see all foods as neutral, and not just feel the need to eat them because of the way we think of them in our minds.
Back to top
1, 2  Next Recent Topics

Page 1 of 2 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Make yellow stains on kittel go away! 5 Today at 12:59 pm View last post
Taking a breastfeeding break for three days
by amother
38 Yesterday at 12:07 pm View last post
Siblings going away alone without husbands and wives
by amother
63 Yesterday at 10:11 am View last post
Pesach Handouts/Food Help
by amother
7 Sun, Feb 23 2020, 8:48 pm View last post
Please help w/ Pesach food in israel 5 Tue, Feb 18 2020, 10:21 am View last post

Jump to: