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Do boys stay as close to their moms after marriage?

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 1:27 am
When sons get married do the distance themselves from their moms?
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 4:38 am
this exact question was discussed 2 weeks ago.

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....82322

TL:DR - everyone is different
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happyone




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 7:08 am
I hope not!
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amother




Scarlet
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 7:15 am
Not in our families bH
I think one of the best ways to ensure a close relationship with your sons after marriage is to make sure your DH has a close relationship with his parents.

Although it doesn’t always work. My friend whose mother hated mother in law now doesn’t like her own mother in law. So it also depends on how the dil was raised.
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 7:27 am
Actually I hope they do and daughters too. Young couples should be allowed to bond together without worrying too much about parents. Obviously they should be keeping in touch and visiting but there is a limit. Its only normal for the couple to step back and take some space.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 7:28 am
It depends. Some stay way too attached to their mothers, much to the new wife's dismay.
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sequoia




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 7:34 am
It literally says in the Torah. Doesn’t say so about a woman.
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 7:34 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
It depends. Some stay way too attached to their mothers, much to the new wife's dismay.


Yes! My MIL expects such a close connection with her sons. Shes so needy, calls very often, whines that we don't visit enough (We do, often twice a week sometimes once. Good enough I think. I don't visit my mom as often.)

Her sons are like her therapists, she tells them every detail of her life and has to share every single experience ever.

Is this normal? I don't think so, this is what girlfriends are for.
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amother




Scarlet
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 8:10 am
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:
Actually I hope they do and daughters too. Young couples should be allowed to bond together without worrying too much about parents. Obviously they should be keeping in touch and visiting but there is a limit. Its only normal for the couple to step back and take some space.


DH and I bonded plenty and were in our own world
Our parents being healthy ppl it’s okay if we both have a close relationship with our parents.
We speak regularly in the phone.
Visit.
Being close doesn’t mean eating there every meal or letting them know private details of your life. But it means keeping them in your life.

Years later I’m so happy our relationships are so strong because now my children are so incredibly close with both sets of grandparents. It’s a beautiful thing for a child to have.

I hope my sons have a relationship with me after marriage like my DH has with his parents.
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amother




Scarlet
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 8:11 am
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:
Yes! My MIL expects such a close connection with her sons. Shes so needy, calls very often, whines that we don't visit enough (We do, often twice a week sometimes once. Good enough I think. I don't visit my mom as often.)

Her sons are like her therapists, she tells them every detail of her life and has to share every single experience ever.

Is this normal? I don't think so, this is what girlfriends are for.


This isn’t a healthy relationship.
I can understand in such a situation setting boundaries.
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 8:46 am
amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:
DH and I bonded plenty and were in our own world
Our parents being healthy ppl it’s okay if we both have a close relationship with our parents.
We speak regularly in the phone.
Visit.
Being close doesn’t mean eating there every meal or letting them know private details of your life. But it means keeping them in your life.

Years later I’m so happy our relationships are so strong because now my children are so incredibly close with both sets of grandparents. It’s a beautiful thing for a child to have.

I hope my sons have a relationship with me after marriage like my DH has with his parents.


That was us early on. Had a very close relationship with parents in law but I've started noticing that the more time we give them, the more they want. Its never enough.

Young couples without children have more time for themselves and can manage visiting parents often too. But when the children start coming and life gets hectic, there is less couple time so I would expect for less parents time too.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 8:48 am
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:
Yes! My MIL expects such a close connection with her sons. Shes so needy, calls very often, whines that we don't visit enough (We do, often twice a week sometimes once. Good enough I think. I don't visit my mom as often.)

Her sons are like her therapists, she tells them every detail of her life and has to share every single experience ever.

Is this normal? I don't think so, this is what girlfriends are for.

It’s called parentification and probably started when they were young
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Sebastian




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 8:53 am
Ime it depends how respectful mom is of boundries and how she treats dil
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 8:56 am
Title reads "Do boys stay as close to their moms after marriage?"

And then the OP reads "When sons get married do the distance themselves from their moms?"

Two opposite questions. So the yes and no answers could be referring to either...
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 9:14 am
So what do you call normal relationship between mother and son?

Are there any topics off limit?
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yo'ma




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 9:37 am
happyone wrote:
I hope not!

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:
Actually I hope they do and daughters too. Young couples should be allowed to bond together without worrying too much about parents. Obviously they should be keeping in touch and visiting but there is a limit. Its only normal for the couple to step back and take some space.

Both of these IMO.
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