Until what time at night is it normal to have a loud party

SixOfWands

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 12:45 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

We're not talking about rock music and screaming off of the balcony.

If you are in Israel, it's a reasonable thing to expect singing on Seder night. Especially if the family has 10 kids, grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles, and 4 cups of wine have been drunk.

Most seders end between 12 and 1am. That is totally normal if you are doing all of the zemirot, hallel, etc. We only have one seder here, so we like to make it special.

We laugh and sing well past midnight on seder nights as well. There's usually about 20-something of us the second night, in an apartment, with rambunctious boys. But we know to reign it in late at night. You can sing without shouting.

Chayalle

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 12:47 pm

I have neighbors who dance in the street on Seder night at 4 a.m. They are lovely, lovely people...for whatever reason, this is what they do.

I remember seeing this in E"Y on my walk back to sem dorm after the Seder (in a Chareidi neighborhood).

My family doesn't do this but.....

Cultural differences/expectations?

What kind of person calls the police on an otherwise nice neighbor?

amother

Bisque

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 12:48 pm

amother [ Pearl ] wrote:

It seems this occured AFTER purim.
There is no excuse to ruin people's night, keeping babies awake and robbing everyone else of much needed rest, when the holiday is over anyway!!!

I would have called the police for sure.

I cannot believe that frum Jews can be angry at fellow frum jews for celebrating Purim on Purim night after sundown. You'll catch up on your precious beauty sleep. And for a frum jew to even think about calling the police on frum neighbors on Purim is unbelievably low behavior.
If neighbors do this every night, we've got a problem. But to make a matziv on Purim?? It's just immature. Sorry.

watergirl

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 12:48 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Oh, I don't think there's an excuse to blare music at 3 a.m. I would never do that, and I think it's obnoxious.

But at the same time, I have an issue with those who post to call the police. I would not jump to call the police on a neighbor for a once-a-year event, even if it's thoughtless and rude.

I used to live near a certain family where the man of the house is like some sort of Rebbe, he has a following, and a couple of times a year at various Yomim Tovim he used to have Bachurim over (I'm sure he still does, I just don't live there anymore) and they'd sing, with music, till very late. It was incredibly inconvenient for our family.

But I would not call the police on a neighbor just for my inconvenience. May Hashem take that as a Kapparah and protect me from worse inconveniences.

Beautifully put.

amother

Bisque

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 12:49 pm

Chayalle wrote:

My FIL does this after the seder as well. We live in Monsey.

amother

Pearl

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 12:54 pm

Chayalle wrote:

The police aren't going to arrest them At least not where I live.
If you can't be considerate of others, there are consequences.

I remember once one of the neighbours had a big party and I had a big final the next day at university. Finals are also once a year, just like purim. Someone can't decide to mess up everyone else's week for their own pleasure. In fact, in the case of finals, the party people are potentially causing someone to fail a semester. Is that fair?

amother

Pearl

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 1:11 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

It's immature? Beauty sleep? What are you talking about?
You have babies, the elderly, students taking important exams, employees who need to leave at 6 am - all of these twisting and turning with headaches at 2 am because some rambunctious revellers are blasting music long after purim. And you think the people who need to sleep are being immature??

Why can't the party people continue partying without blasting music? Is it no fun if they aren't bothering everyone?

Chayalle

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 2:42 pm

amother [ Pearl ] wrote:

I agree with this. I think it's thoughtless and immature to party that loudly so late and not think of others.

I still disagree with calling the police on neighbors. Even if they won't get arrested. It's just a horrible thing to do.

SixOfWands

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 3:01 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

No. What's immature is to consider only yourself, and to party so loud as to be significantly bothering neighbors after 11 pm.

What's immature is to ignore polite requests to crank it down late at night.

People have children who need to go to school. People have jobs that they have to get to.

If you live a lifestyle that requires you to be so loud that you disturb neighbors after 11 pm, you need to live in a detached home with a sufficient lot size so as not to bother others. Even if its only once or twice a year.

SixOfWands

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 3:02 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I didn't suggest calling as a first resort. I suggested calling if the neighbors refuse to moderate the noise after 11 pm and after requests that they do so.

amother

Bisque

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 3:03 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

It's not a lifestyle. It's once a year on Purim. And when you live in a frum only neighborhood, it's part of the deal. My upstairs neighbors were also partying way after midnight. My kids were up jumping around. I felt foolish saying something but DH did text them asking when the party will be over.

notshanarishona

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 3:12 pm

Normal noise I wouldn't have a problem with . Blasting music after 10 pm is rude and against the law. To cause others to have screaming kids , be late to work the next day, etc.. takes away any mitzvah a person gets from their seudah. I would ask nicely for them to quiet it and if they don't I would probably consider calling the police . Purim night I am exhausted and have cranky kids and a tired husband . It's not right to cause others to suffer .

SixOfWands

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 3:45 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

Loud parties past 1 pm on Purim is a lifestyle. I can assure you that not every frum Jew is cranking it up to 11 after 11 pm on Purim.

amother

Mistyrose

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 3:54 pm

My Monroe Satmar-turned-Breslov neighbors started the party after 10...That's when all the men finished partying at their parents. They drop off the wives and kids at their home and then the party starts at my neighbors house! Windows wide open, blasting speakers of reb nachman meuman.... Guess what, I actually enjoyed it! I was happy that some guys were jigging it out what they have to keep straight and proper all year. I don't know why, but I just felt good for them. They stopped at 12 though.

amother

Pearl

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 4:03 pm

amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:

Midnight is better than 2 am. And if the neighbours enjoy, then great.

I don't understand why everyone's seuda starts so late. I'm in Israel, people in my circles sit down to eat at 2 pm. If you must party after the seuda, eat earlier.

Also, why isnt everyone having their purim party on the first evening, after the megillah? Or are all these people partying two nights in a row?

amother

Mistyrose

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 4:09 pm

amother [ Pearl ] wrote:

People find it hard to party after a fast. So it's usually a light and quicker seuda at night, some ending a bit later but the usualls are over at 10-11. Morning it's a midday seuda spanning about 12-3 with many variations, and EVERYONE gathers for the final, rambunctious seuda shekia time that goes well into the night. At that point all are drunk, merry and fun!

Chayalle

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 4:11 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

You need to make 2 seudaos on Purim. One by day and one at nightfall.

No such Halacha. Never heard of this.

You are supposed to have one Seuda, most of which should be eaten before shkia.