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DH has fever & won't take precautions

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Mar 25 2020, 8:32 pm
I ask him to stay in one or two rooms & not touch things in the kitchen (though TBH I haven't bothered disinfecting every surface since he's had fever, because I just don't have the strength, and what's the point if he keeps going around the house like everything is fine?)

[I haven't gone out in a couple of weeks. He has.]

He's normally a pretty considerate guy but he thinks I'm taking things way too seriously...

I guess I will just give up and leave my fate to Hashem, which is where it is anyhow.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Mar 25 2020, 8:42 pm
I have been really fine through a lot of stress but now I am ready to cry. Not only that but I am starting to think that if we both survive this I want a divorce.
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flmommy




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Mar 25 2020, 8:47 pm
I’m also so sorry that sounds so stressful. Can your Rabbi talk to him?
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amother




Forestgreen
 

Post  Wed, Mar 25 2020, 8:49 pm
My husbands the same.

Luckily for me, I know him like a book, I would never ever suggest precautions.

Took a teeny weeny weeny shmear of oregano oil diluted with lots and lots vaseline.
put a bit on his chest. Opened lungs, took away cough.
I gave my husband zince 50 mg x 5 pills twice a day.

It helped.
Caution: not responsible for anyones side effects...I do not know if zinc or oregano are dangerous. and can make underlying conditions worse or bring on serious condition.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Mar 25 2020, 8:51 pm
I'm over 60 and do have a couple of medical conditions. So now I am scared. Really scared. Because I am quite sure the virus is in my house in spite of all the hishtadlus I did.

But Hashem will decide my fate. So in that case why did I even bother staying home?
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amother




Lime
 

Post  Wed, Mar 25 2020, 9:31 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm over 60 and do have a couple of medical conditions. So now I am scared. Really scared. Because I am quite sure the virus is in my house in spite of all the hishtadlus I did.

But Hashem will decide my fate. So in that case why did I even bother staying home?


Even if getting the virus is inevitable, perhaps you can postpone so that everyone doesn’t need hospital care at the same time. I am terrified about getting sick in the next week or so before there are any kinds of emergency supplies available.

Also you can prevent others from becoming infected if you are contagious.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Mar 25 2020, 9:33 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm over 60 and do have a couple of medical conditions. So now I am scared. Really scared. Because I am quite sure the virus is in my house in spite of all the hishtadlus I did.

But Hashem will decide my fate. So in that case why did I even bother staying home?


It's one thing if DH is being an idiot about his own health, but are you saying that he doesn't care about your health at all? You're in a high risk group, so he should at least do the minimum for your sake.

Call his rav ASAP. If the rav says that DH is fine, let DH go live at the rav's house for a few weeks.
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post  Wed, Mar 25 2020, 9:42 pm
Hate to break it to you, if he has and your not obsessively disinfecting every surface in your house it’s probably too late. It’s extremely contagious. Him sleeping in the other room isn’t going to help if he’s touching door knobs, counters, faucets, etc
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notshanarishona




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Mar 25 2020, 9:44 pm
By the time he has symptoms you probably have already been exposed so too late to be careful. If he were going out in the street with synptoms that would be the epitome of selfishness.
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amother




Yellow
 

Post  Wed, Mar 25 2020, 10:58 pm
I would think I wrote the OP, but I see someone else did...I feel so stupid constantly reprimanding a cranky dh.
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amother




Scarlet
 

Post  Wed, Mar 25 2020, 11:04 pm
Today a pediatrician told me I should share my inhaler with my daughter. Even if I've been sick. "You're living in the same house anyway". I wanted to punch him! I see his point, but why would I share something you put your MOUTH on?!
Bottom line- if you're living in the same house you're exposed. Sad Sad
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Mar 26 2020, 12:14 am
Quote:
"Good question to ask yourself if you're dating someone: Would I want to spend an indefinite amount of time in quarantine with him? If so, then marry him. If not, then cough."


Good advice, only too late because I married him some time ago.

No, I can't tell him to call his Rov, who is quite elderly and probably not answering shaylos any longer. I don't think there's anyone he will listen to, though if I get him on the phone with my therapist he might be slightly embarrassed.

Yes, it is probably too late except that maybe it's not, if I went around disinfecting all the doorknobs and he would STAY IN ONE ROOM. But he won't.

I just told him I am really angry. I also cried earlier. Maybe one of those will make him think.

Meanwhile he took tylenol & says he feels better. Oh, happy day! Now we can stop worrying. Right? NOT.
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Mama Bear




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Mar 26 2020, 12:22 am
I do not think you can quarantine him to his room for 2 weeks.
Relax.
You'll be okay.
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grace413




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Mar 26 2020, 9:01 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm over 60 and do have a couple of medical conditions. So now I am scared. Really scared. Because I am quite sure the virus is in my house in spite of all the hishtadlus I did.

But Hashem will decide my fate. So in that case why did I even bother staying home?


Because we have to do our hishtadlus which is what staying home is.

Wishing you and your family good health.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Mar 26 2020, 10:51 am
Well, I feel a little better. I listened to the Bitachon hotline and evidently I am not the only one with this issue! If you'd like to hear it, 732-719-3898 and press 3 for Q&A.

(I also called a Rov about how I'm going to finish making Pesach. He said there's still time, once DH has no fever for 3 days maybe I can let some grandkids into the house to help a little. I have not been letting them come til now, but I physically can't do much, so it's either DH or them at some point. Someone has to kasher & it aint gonna be me! Also he said now is definitely the time to relax our chumros, let's see if DH will agree to that. HAH!)

May Hashem watch over all of us!!!
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amother




Chartreuse
 

Post  Thu, Mar 26 2020, 12:08 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm over 60 and do have a couple of medical conditions. So now I am scared. Really scared. Because I am quite sure the virus is in my house in spite of all the hishtadlus I did.

But Hashem will decide my fate. So in that case why did I even bother staying home?



By staying home, you can avoid spreading it to other people. Hopefully!
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amother




Navy
 

Post  Thu, Mar 26 2020, 2:44 pm
To my knowledge, after he is 3 days fever free, you still need to quarantine 14 days, in case you start showing symptoms. That gets you to Pesach, so definitely check with his doctor, because there might be a difference or some accomodations. And depending on the answer, call your rav.

If it helps, I had a similar issue with my grown son here. I've been running around with Clorox wipes each time he comes and goes. I just wiped down every page of a magazine.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Mar 26 2020, 4:50 pm
Well he opened some of the papers& magazines & I just figured I will wait a few days to read them. (I didn't think of wiping down with clorox, which I don't have, but don't they get wet???) No consideration at all for whether I want to read them.

I am telling you now, this is NOT the guy to be quarantined with. But it's so silly to complain, I know some have it much harder.

Good thing I stocked up on reading material of my own...
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