Stop posting videos of kids at their parents' funerals

amother

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 4:22 pm

STOP POSTING THE FAMILIES AT FUNERALS! THIS IS MORONIC.

There are different videos going around of kids saying kadish. What's wrong with people to invade the families' privacy?

It a sick disgusting thing to do.

singleagain

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 4:42 pm

Unless the family put it out . And shared bc other family/friends can't be there. Please don't slam people who are trying to grieve in this difficult time.

I will say that don't post/fwd a video without permission from the family. But if the family had no objection. Let them grieve.

amother

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 5:09 pm

singleagain wrote:

I am receiving several from several different sources. I have no close connection with the decedent. It's enough. Why post them for the world to see?

Sunny Days

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 5:18 pm

Unfortunately I’ve heard about this (though never seen as I’m not on WhatsApp or ig) way before social distancing became the norm...

singleagain

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 5:25 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I am receiving several from several different sources. I have no close connection with the decedent. It's enough. Why post them for the world to see?

Posting public links is the easiest way to share videos. Especially, as not everyone is on all media. We just buried my aunt today. At one point there were over 90 people on the zoom link. Especially, in these distant times it made us all feel close. Brought a lot of comfort to us.

amother

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 6:23 pm

singleagain wrote:

And that's great for your family. Send the pictures of the mourning kids to those you want to see experiencing their grief. Better yet ask the kids if they want strangers seeing this.

I can't believe you are defending strangers seeing this. These are for the general public. They are being passed around for those with no connection to the decedent. They are like trading cards.

Isn't anything private anymore?

singleagain

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 6:26 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I never said I'm defending strangers seeing it. I'm just trying to explain why it might be public. And when you post publicly, you run the risk of strangers seeing. Maybe the comfort from sharing, is worth that risk. You don't want to watch. Don't.

But please don't tell us how to grieve.

amother

White

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 6:30 pm

singleagain wrote:

Baruch Dayan Haemes

FranticFrummie

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 6:33 pm

Maybe the families are putting them out there, because other people are not taking Coronavirus seriously. They want to show it as a warning, and make it more real.

(Assuming that this is what the videos were about. I've only seen one, and it was about a girl who had lost her father to the virus. You only see the girl from the back.)

amother

Violet

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 6:33 pm

op, I completely agree with you. When my father passed away a few years ago, I got quite a shock when I signed onto social media to find a video of his actual funeral being shared by some of his students (he was a principal). I know they meant well but it felt like I had been sucker punched for some reason. I actually messaged the girl privately so that my siblings wouldn't get the same shock, and she immediately removed it.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 6:39 pm

amother [ Violet ] wrote:

I'm so sorry. That must have been horrible for you. In the moment, I think people just don't think about consent. I'm glad it got removed right away.

amother

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 6:45 pm

amother [ Violet ] wrote:

How horrible. There's no reason in the world for someone to do this except they feel in the know. There's too much sharing on social media. A little respect for the mourners is in order.

sky

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 8:32 pm

Jewish newspapers have articles to give up smart phones. And I don’t like most of them.

But one really struck me.

A boy came to school the day after his father’s shloshim. And a classmate said you did a good job. And he asked what they meant. They said they saw a clip of him saying Kaddish on wats app. He felt so horrible that the world could see such a vulnerable moment of his.
Knowing a young yosem whose very private moments are shared this really struct me.

People are just desensitized to sharing.

amother

Cerise

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 9:35 pm

2 thoughts: I think they are trying to get people to take the social distancing rules seriously. Some people really don't get it unless they are faced with something graphic. (I'm not addressing the privacy aspect. We are in crazy times now, and some of the blame can be placed on people not taking thos seriously enough.)
Also, the one video I saw was trying to raise money for the victims family. It brought me to tears seeing the little boys crying over the aron. Seeing something like that pulls at the heartstrings and opens peoples hearts to give tzedaka like nothing else.

amother

Silver

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 9:42 pm

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

My father was niftar when I was a child and we were poor and money was raised for our family. We would have all chosen to live in poverty rather than have our tragedy publicly displayed like that.

amother

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 11:25 pm

I received a 4th video today. There's no fund raisers with them. It's just someone geographically close sending them around.

We know it's a tough situation with all the people dying, but to the family it's only one person dying.

amother

Rose

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 12:59 am

My friend lost her husband very tragically and was a very high profile case. She told me she was approached by askanim asking permission to exploit her situation as in the end it will benefit her financially. She gave it some thought and then consented allowing them to triple their original goal. She told me she doesn't regret it as she had zero financial future and that would be shame plus stress. Eventually now the shame will fade but she sleeps peacefully knowing her kids'needs are taken care of financially.

Just relating my experience.