Is it selfish to give a kid an unusual name?

amother

Bisque

Wed, Jun 10 2020, 10:30 am

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

And what do you call her? That's what matters, not what is written on her birth certificate.

It was very important to give her the name for the sake of family peace.
We call her both names but I hear her introducing herself to new people with the added name only. And that’s okay.. that’s why I added that name.

amother

Silver

Wed, Jun 10 2020, 10:40 am

heidi wrote:

I know an Israeli named ביטחה. Unusual and I thought pretty.
Till my kids pointed out how it would be spelled in English.
OP, in my DL community literally anything goes.
We have בכול, שונמית, תאיר ציון etc.
I don't think you can outdo the Israelis

Reminds me of my friend who named her son Ori Yehuda, which I thought was beautiful. I also know someone who just named her daughter תבל, which I found a bit odd.

amother

Maroon

Wed, Jun 10 2020, 11:38 am

I wouldn't. Kids are mean and can be bullies. A strange name can be just what the bullies need.
We had names of families we could have given but went against them because for that reason.
Maybe if you really want to, do it as as middle name but don't call her that way.
Just my opinion

amother

Goldenrod

Wed, Jun 10 2020, 11:54 am

I have a very common name and hate it. It is so not memorable that people who don't know me well often call me by a like name. (Think a Rivka being called Ruchel-common R names, immahot, " whatever, I knew it was something like that").
My children have uncommon names and love them.
My oldest DD was so disappointed to discover her name was common when she went to Israel for the year. (Had no idea when I named her). She hated being in stores or going to people's homes and finding there were dozens of people with her name.

Btw, their name are uncommon but not made up. I had friends (usually only one) with the name growing up, as opposed to making up phrases or psukim.

Btw, we used Serach instead of Chaya as a second name (but only call by the first) when naming for someone who died young. I like different.

amother

White

Wed, Jun 10 2020, 12:17 pm

My mom hates her name all her life.
she was absolutely against giving any yiddish names to any of her kids.

Also, my SIL has a very unusual name and my dh thinks its highly weird.

So yeah we wouldn't either give an unusual name, it's not fair to the kid.

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Jun 10 2020, 12:19 pm

I always hated my name growing up, I liked the way it sounded when it was pronounced properly but everyone butchered it and I thought it sounded really ugly. So I always went by different nicknames and when I was 18/19 I changed my name and now I love it lol so even if someone grows up hating their name they can always change it.

That being said, a name that is easy for different people to pronounce is nice. I have a cousin who isn't from the US, married a man from a non-English speaking country so when they were naming their girls they were thinking about how that name would sound and how easy it would be for family to be able to pronounce it in 3 or 4 different languages. Obviously you don't have to take that into consideration and people will just learn how to pronounce it.

I think uncommon names can be lovely or they can not be, it just depends on the name.

Teomima

Wed, Jun 10 2020, 12:26 pm

I live in a DL community in Israel and yes, anything goes but no, I don't find it overstepping, odd, inappropriate or embarrassing in the least. Whenever I hear an unusual name I think about how it must have special meaning to the parents and I find that beautiful. Unless you're talking about getting baby name ideas from Elon Musk, your should go with your gut, choose something you love, and tell your child the story of why you gave them that name so they grow up loving their unique name as much as you do.

#BestBubby

Wed, Jun 10 2020, 12:30 pm

Did not read thread, so sorry if I am repeating what others said:

Give TWO names, one being common. Call child by unusual name but if the child is really
bothered by it, then switch to second common name.

Also talk to child, from very young age, WHY you chose the name - if it has meaning to you
or if it was after a relative, describe the special qualities of the relative - so that child will
be proud of the name and can "defend" name to peers.

Last edited by #BestBubby on Wed, Jun 10 2020, 12:32 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Babypink

Wed, Jun 10 2020, 12:32 pm

Rappel wrote:

Just kicking ideas around in my head, and I want to hear what others think.

I live in a society where literally anything goes, name-wise. Many names are unisex, like Hadar or Ziv. Some people give their children grandiose, long names - I was at the Brit Milah of a Moshe Chaim Abaye last week, and his neighbor is Menachem Mendel Melech. Others make names up - Sadayel, anyone? I even know a little girl named Orayta.

Having given my first two children longer, more difficult names which we thought were beautiful at the time, I've come to the conclusion that a total name should not be more than 4 syllables, and shouldn't need an explanation. Fine.

But now we're considering name lists, and I find I'm very drawn to certain biblical names, but while they're all tzaddikim, they're not the main characters like Moshe and David. I do think a mother has intuition about a name, but is it fair to give a kid a name that others don't have? Won't people's heads turn, will it be awkward for them? How can I be sure I'm giving my child a good name?

A mother gets ruach hakodesh when the baby is born. Trust that. I wouldn’t give a name that’s really ugly or hard to pronounce or absolutely unheard of. Anything else is usually ok.

amother

Sapphire

Wed, Jun 10 2020, 1:07 pm

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

We both love the name Serach, and think it would be beautiful to name after such a special woman. But here in Israel it could easily turn into a tease - Serach hamasricha. So I don't think it's a name we'll ever give.

amother

Goldenrod

Wed, Jun 10 2020, 1:13 pm

amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:

Translate please

amother

Orchid

Wed, Jun 10 2020, 1:52 pm

My oldest daughter has a favorite name of mine but goes by a nickname. It was almost unheard of when we named her in the US but is an old fashioned name in Israel. Her nickname is used a lot here but now that she is old enough to see her name on official papers, she is getting to like her real name again. I also see that old fashioned names come back as there is young girl who has her name near me.

I love all of my kids names and they suit them very well. I put the most effort in finding a name for our newest miracle and it really is a gorgeous name that has a very special and holy meaning. It's ok if everyone just thinks it's pretty and only a few know the meaning behind it. It's a heard of name, mostly in Israel but not super popular. Suits her perfectly.

I have a lot of friends who use names hardly heard of. For girls: Plia, Matar, Simchat Chayim, Ayelet Hashachar, Revaya, Tahel, Shuvaya, Brit

For boys: Ido, Evyatar, Elior, El Natan

Really, anything goes here. Some sound weird in English but Israelis don't care. Like Osnat or Oshrat. I like soft names so those would drive me crazy. I also don't like to use names that could be either gender so no one knows right away if it's a boy or girl. Except, I really love the name Tal which is both.

I'm not sure why all of the shevatim names aren't used widely. I don't know a Zevulun or a Gad and I only know a few with some of the other names.

amother

Smokey

Wed, Jun 10 2020, 2:20 pm

Unusual is subjective.

I'm MO and have a yiddish name. Always hated it. Always wanted to have nice Hebrew name. Then, lo and behold, I did the same thing to my DD - named her after my grandmother, first name Yiddish middle name Hebrew classic tanachi. She goes by her middle name.

IMHO 3 names is too much. I like slightly out of the ordinary Tanachi names.

Some of the modern Hebrew names are just too out there for me.

Scotty

Wed, Jun 10 2020, 3:23 pm

I have a really weird name and love it because my mom always told me about my great grandmother and what a marvelous person she was, and personally always talked about how lovely the name is and how special it was. I like it because it's unique and makes me feel unique too! Same with my sis who has a heavy duty Yiddish name - my mother made it so special that she likes it enough to drop her 'plain Jane' second (emergency exit) name in favor of the more unusual one.

So possibly it kind of goes according to how you handle it. I love unusual names.