Is my husband the only one not going to minyan??

amother

Aubergine

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 10:56 pm

DH doesn’t go to minyan even before Covid....
Great guy bh but this is a hard Mitzvah for him.
bothers me, but we all have our challenges.

Try not to be bothered by his Yoddishkeit

amother

Azure

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 11:01 pm

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

We are waiting for the numbers in rockland county to go down to a very low level, and stay down. Ive seen too many people in my immediate community die/ get sick and got left with possibly lasting issues to be totally la di da about going around like usual. Not to mention the boy in my son's yeshiva in the ICU with post covid syndrome...

We just dont see monsey as being in the green zone yet. Honestly not sure why anyone does...

Because there's been virtually no new cases there for the last month. That's why.

amother

Natural

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 11:13 pm

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

For me the question has always been: where else (if anywhere, of course) is he going?

If he’s going to the supermarket, to Target, to see friends or family (socially distanced or Course) to the park, to work: then certainly be Should also go to shul

But if he (you) truly don’t leave the house (which from day 1 I’ve never understood and can’t imagine except for the most high risk Among us) If you truly go nowhere and see no one then no he shouldn’t go to shul

My parents in their 60s have not left their house except to walk around the block for excersize since Purim. Not for shopping or work. Nothing. I haven’t seen them since February.
My father does daven outside wearing a mask with same 10 men 6 ft away.
But otherwise they don’t leave their home. Ever.
This is in Baltimore.

amother

Scarlet

Sun, Jun 14 2020, 11:41 pm

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

Because there's been virtually no new cases there for the last month. That's why.

Not sure where youre getting this info, but thats not true. I work in the medical field, in monsey. I look at the rockland county dashboard of covid data as well.
There have definitely been new cases, and they havent stopped.
Its just not at the terrifying level that it once was, but to say that there have been virtually no new cases is totally false

amother

Cobalt

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 12:01 am

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

more and more people with no symptoms are testing now to see if they have antibodies and are getting positive results for Covid but there's no way of knowing how long they've had it. I personally have several close relatives in hatzala in Brooklyn. According to them there have been no new hatzalah cases since about a week after pesach iirc. Unfortunately a lot of people still suffering, going back and forth from the hospital, but those have had symptoms for 10 weeks or longer.

amother

Salmon

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 1:23 am

amother [ Mauve ] wrote:

Please ask a rav or dr before making these decisions

I was at a shiur last night where the rav decried those still davening at home saying there is no excuse, he spoke to doctors, the shechina is in a shul not a backyard etc

Every person has different circumstances but it’s definitely something to be asked not decided by feelings

I don't usually comment my opinions.. But this is horrible. I don't believe a real rav would ever say such a thing... And if he did it was to a specific crowd which he felt obviously should be attending but not spreading past there..
I would seriously reconsider my choice of rabbi if this is someone who you look up to for guidance if he meant anything other than what I hope he meant..

amother

Crimson

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 1:30 am

My husband isn't going.
He absolutely refuses to wear a mask. He thinks masks are ridiculous and unnecessary. He thinks social distancing isn't necessarily.
Rather than complying with the rules and regulations, he's decided not to go.

He has overall been very stubborn with masks, social distancing, etc.. He thinks it's all made up, and the virus is no different than a cold or flu. (And a doctor of his supports his view) I don't agree at all with him, and am doing everything I can to protect the family. ..which is hard with the kids when he undermines my efforts.

It's tough.

amother

Silver

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 2:29 am

30s. No minyan either. We both work from home (I only had to go in 3 times this entire time and 2 times were to pick something up). We do go grocery shopping as deliveries don't work where I live. But every time we come home from store etc we wash our clothes and shower.
No shul for a few reasons... Men we see tend to not cover their chin and mouth but don't always cover their nose. They tend to underestimate the 6 feet. Some are "the type" to come even with symptoms.
Oh and we have family in the serious/at risk category. We drop off food, check on them etc.
not going any time soon...

LovesHashem

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 3:59 am

Mama Bear wrote:

I am just curious if the ppl who arent going to minyan arent going anywhere else either? Not to work, not to stores etc? Are you fully keeping social distancing in all other aspects aside from minyan?

We go to outdoor places, and big ventilated indoor places that have SD and mask wearing people.
We see family and friends with SD and masks.

amother

Jetblack

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 4:01 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’m just curious if any one else’s non-high-risk husband is not going to minyanim yet. I feel like my entire community is going but my husband and I (mostly me TBH) don’t feel like it’s safe yet. I have so much guilt about it and I question if we’re doing the right thing but I just feel like not much has changed and it’s still dangerous...is anyone else doing the same thing?

Adding that my husband is 32 (I’m 28), he does have crohns but there’s not much data that that makes him high risk.

Didn’t read while thread but we are both in our late 20’s. Neither are high risk bH. We agreed that he would continue Davening at home... mostly so that I can continue seeing my parents and siblings ... my father and sister are both high risk

LovesHashem

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 4:30 am

amother [ Mauve ] wrote:

I've heard that too. That's nice, tell that to someone who genuinely feels it's not safe.
The same Rav who said that said corona is over.

It's not.

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 7:31 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My son in law has Crohns and he was told by his doctor to be very careful and he does not attend shul.
My husband is over sixty and he doesn't attend indoor minyanim only outdoor. Our shul is open for minyan but we have a few outdoor minyanim here that are small and everyone respectful. I am very surprised because my husband never missed davening with a minyan but now he is trying to be careful and indoor minyanim are not as good as outside, he feels.
You do you, your husband will do as he feels comfortable. Don't look at what others do. Rinse and repeat. Good luck.

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 8:04 am

My husband is BH not high risk and is only going to a SD style minyan Shabbos (we're in KJ). Many people are still trying to follow rules. The Rav of the shul where he davens supports davening at home during the week and tries to encourage ppl to follow SD guidelines in general.

amother

Scarlet

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 8:28 am

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

Yes, I am aware of that.
But I am also still seeing new cases of symptomatic covid. Not just testing positive because they decided to test now and likely had it weeks ago, but feeing sick now, getting tested and coming back positive.

Just because people arent calling hatzalah to go to the hospital, doesnt mean there aren't active covid cases in the community

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 8:41 am

My husband is 60 and he is going to minyanim again because he already had coronavirus and doesn’t think it’s a risk for him to possibly get it again at this point. He checked his antibody level and it’s high so he feels it’s safe to go out again.
OP, perhaps your husband can check his antibody level? Even though he hadn’t been sick and he’s been staying home, you never know. It’s still possible to have antibodies. I know some people who were surprised when they tested. Dr’s say it’s because they were exposed to the virus before they quarantined but didn’t have symptoms.

amother

Wine

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 8:45 am

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

Not really.

Going to the supermarket isn't every day, you wear a mask and can keep away from others easily (unlike in a crowded shul), and it's a relatively short time compared to how long it takes to daven. Also, if the supermarket is too crowded, you just don't go in.

Going to work you see the same people every day, you're not seeing new people come in sometimes and not others and maybe someone doesn't come because they're sick but no one tells you.

Other than work and grocery shopping and doctor appointments, no, we haven't really gone anywhere...

amother

Indigo

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 8:48 am

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

I agree 100%! U do not know every single persons ins and outs.. especially now when people r making big deals about everything I am sure that if someone has the virus now they will keep it quiet....

PinkFridge

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 8:50 am

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

A lot of rabbanim are addressing the transition of going back to shul.
A lot of people enjoyed the slower davening now that they didn't have to rush through for communting.
Then, a lot of people enjoyed the outdoor minyanim, ambiance, the chevra.

What rabbanim are saying is, let's bring all this back to shul, but if we can be in shul, that's optimal.
Now, YMMV, I don't know exactly what the rav in question is saying. And there are many people who should be home, or at least davening with SD, masks, etc.

amother

Denim

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 9:57 am

amother [ Wine ] wrote:

I think we are talking About 2 different things

You refer to a crowded shul

Every shul in my community (and my parents too) are following the 10 person rule. It’s the opposite of crowded, it’s deserted

If Shuls aren’t following the law and only having 10 people and are crowded, of course people shouldn’t be going

amother

Wine

Mon, Jun 15 2020, 10:13 am

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

So it depends where you live. Here even if the shul has space for a 2-meter distance, people aren't sticking to it. You can walk over to the side and someone will brush up against you or come stand RIGHT beside you. How would you move if that happened in the middle of the amida?

There is no 10-person rule here.