What do you consider a decent salary?

amother

Powderblue

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 9:56 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I may have missed your original post, if there was one, as others seem to think you feel you have no wiggle room. If that is so, I don’t think you understand what wiggle room is. Giving that much tzedaka is wiggle room. Saving 6k a month is wiggle room. 1k in cleaning help is quite nice. $500 a month working out? Come on, you don’t think for a second you aren’t living well.

It’s not that *I* think she thinks she feels she has no wiggle room.
That’s literally what she wrote%:

Quote:

First of all tight is the wrong word. I definitely feel blessed. It’s just that I don’t feel like I have any wiggle room

amother

Orange

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 10:28 am

There are so many factors to this question.
How many school age+ children do you have is the largest determining factor.
As kids grow up you spend more on everything, more food, more on clothes, more on tuition, more on camp.
We have 3 kids in elementary school, tuition is already almost 30% of our income.
My husband hates his job but with minimal credentials Im just so grateful he has a parnassa that covers our bills.

amother

Seagreen

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 10:31 am

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

This is so true! 10 years ago I would have said I could live comfortably on $70K. Now that I have a bunch of teenagers, I think I would find 200K a year tight. And I've spoken to other people and they've agreed.

amother

Bisque

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 11:09 am

amother [ Pewter ] wrote:

Same but with health insurance. My husband is on a high income track iyh. But tuition and health insurance are a great equalizer - no one gives masser on that, or pays tax.

So let’s say we make 200k and spend 10k a year on medical insurance (modest estimate if you want to include dental, all copays etc. bigger kids need braces, glasses). And pay full tuition. The rebbe and teacher making 80k (parsonage and tax benefits also) getting fidelis for 7 kids, and free tuition might end up more comfortable. And no one will raise money cvs for our kids if need be, cuz we were rich! Where did the money go? No one will give us any help when making a wedding, while the Rebbe’s daughter gets a free Shaitel and housewares etc. and no one expects them to be giving more than minimum tzedaka or gifts while my dad always gets attitudes that he’s not giving enough...

I don’t begrudge others but there’s definitely something off with the system. Until you are very very rich (probably 500k or maybe less but with parental help) you essentially can get tighter the more you make. My pooper cousins got married with a lot less stress on their parents than I did, and had more expensive things than me etc.

true point in theory, but I dont think rabbeim make even close to 80K

amother

Ginger

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 11:47 am

Pre corona...
Combined we were making about $200K
We have 5 kids and were paying full tuition (not tristate)
We have a mortgage and car payments on one car.

That said we don't have a huge cushion. There is wiggle room, but not a ton

So decent salary really depends on where you live, # of kids and how much tuition needs to be paid.

Angolama

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 2:23 pm

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

First of all tight is the wrong word. I definitely feel blessed. It’s just that I don’t feel like I have any wiggle room, and I was from the people who thought that 30k is super comfortable with all the trimmings!

We are chassidish , so tuition is much less.

The food is for a family of 8 plus the occasional guest. I don’t think it’s that much for the family size. Obviously if We would have less money I would be able to bring down the cost but not substantially.

Re savings, that’s the point. I feel that for my families future these investments and savings are important and with 30k of income we should be able to swing it easily, but it’s not always easy.
And that’s why I used the word tight. I guess I shouldn’t have.

It's much less because it's subsidized, no? Are subsidies meant for everyone, including families making 350K+ a year?

I don't want to sound judgmental, btw. I'm just curious how the system works.

I also want to say that I'm super impressed how you give a full Chomesh to tzedaka. May Hashem repay you in kind and provide all your needs comfortably above and beyond.

amother

Vermilion

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 4:14 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

true point in theory, but I dont think rabbeim make even close to 80K

There is a certain sweet spot where a rebbe can be coming out ahead of a working family earning far more, due to the perk of substantial tuition breaks for the rebbe, combined with being in a lower tax bracket. For example, rebbe earns $40,000 vs. someone earning $80k. In addition, there are other perks available for rebbeim, ex some yeshiva halls will give reduced price for rebbeim to use for a simcha, some mohelim give drastically reduced fees and more.

amother

Jade

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 4:22 pm

It seems like from this thread that most people have high paying jobs to be able to afford big families with high tuition and sleep away camp. I don’t know how people are able to get such high paying jobs when it’s so hard these days to land a job. Also, why don’t big families get tuition breaks?
Bh I have 2 kids. Our combined income is no way near 100k. My husband is the main breadwinner winner. I earn very little because I’m physically disabled. Currently, we’re renting, pay for 2 used cars, get big tuition break, get grocery gift cards for yomtov expenses. We usually go on small vacations twice a year to family using credit card points. I don’t buy brand name clothes for my kids or eat out in fancy restaurants. We also invest a little bit every month for savings. But I don’t see how we will ever afford a house, especially in NY or sleep away camp with our current salary. Even if my husband were to make more money, we would have to pay more tuition.

amother

Chartreuse

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 10:45 pm

Angolama wrote:

No, we pay the full amount they want us to pay, no negotiation or breaks. We also give money to the school for different charity programs and dinners. (Which is included in charity)

amother

Chartreuse

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 10:50 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I Bh know I am lucky, but just explaining if you would see my house, or the way we dress, or in general live our lives, you would not think that our income was so high.

And if we would want to upgrade our lifestyle, house, or our way of dressing to the standards we see out there nowadays, we wouldn’t be able to pay for it all.

amother

Pewter

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 12:09 am

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

true point in theory, but I dont think rabbeim make even close to 80K

If rebbe teaches full time for a while+ wife works part time? None of the rebbeim I know make less total. And they still get subsidized everything and tips etc. Bh. I’m happy they have the Menucha to teach. (I am familiar with numbers from 3/4 diff schools around monsey ranging from heimish to litvish)

amother

Aubergine

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 10:04 am

We earn $190,000 annually+ health ins (dh works I’m sahm)
I feel so broke I wish I had any sort of skills so I could contribute to our finances.
We live in Brooklyn. 4 young children. Own a home (4K mo mortgage) Pay full tuition. We have hardly any money in savings and when my kids come home from school with notes about small supplies they need or trip money I shvitz. When a nephew becomes bar mitzvah or a sibling gets engaged I am sorry to see the little bit I had saved for a new Sheitel or a toy my kid wants be spent on a gift or sheva brachot... I have no cleaning help. We don’t go on any vacations or chol hamoed day trips. I Don’t buy fast food or even prepared food from the freezer section.
I never imagined earning so much money and affording so little.

amother

Bronze

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 10:08 am

Another mom wrote:

Sort of on this topic - is $4000 a month enough for a single guy - lives in the midwest? He can rent a small place. I'd appreciate your opinion....

I live OOT in the midwest. When I first got married, dh and I lived on $2000 a month for the first 2 yrs (apartment cost 800 a month, lived simply, only had 1 car).

amother

Ruby

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 10:13 am

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

WOW. How is this possible? I always thought $200K is a nice salary....and 4 kids isn't even that much.

I feel for you.

amother

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 10:35 am

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

Wow that’s really hard. How much is tuition? Sounds like that and your mortgage are what’s really killing you. What is your net income? I think a big problem here is when we mention high numbers, people think it’s so much, but forget how much is going to taxes.

amother

Ivory

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 11:06 am

We live in Toms River. Just moved from lakewood.
Combined we make 110k after taxes.
My husband boss pays for our health insurance ( so grateful for that)
We both have the ability as of 2018 to also earn commissions - combined last year we brought in an additional 60k and will iyh continue to grow.
We have 2 kids I’m expecting my 3rd . Pay full tuition. Just bought our first home. Also help some other siblings with expenses.
We work really really hard. Extremely full time (think sundays/nights 2/3x a week)
Bh we save every month. Though with corona we really took a huge hit financially.
We don’t live extravagant lifestyles. We do buy takeout once a week. I don’t have cleaning help. Haven’t been on vacation for a while now (because we’re always working) We do track everything we spend and we are very conscious with our money. Nervous of how I’m going to keep up my hours after this next baby but hashem will help.
But I’m grateful we are completely self sufficient. Didn’t rely on parents for anything did it on our own from day one. Didn’t get used to a lifestyle we couldn’t afford.
Our parnasah wasn’t like this from day one.First few years we were married we had cereal for supper often because that’s all we could afford from wic 😢
I think like most it’s a lot of trial and error and a lot of work to just “make it”. It’s definitely hard being religious and affording life.

amother

Rose

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 11:57 am

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

I hear you. I am pretty much in the same boat. DH was making (prior to COVID and losing his job) about 175 and I make about 85- all before taxes.

I avoid people when their DCs get engaged so that they will hopefully not invite me to a wedding and I don't have to write a check.