Burnt out from cooking

westchestermom

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 11:24 am

I recently got promoted at work. It involves managing people and my brain is still adjusting. My husband does most of the childcare and cleaning but shopping and cooking completely falls on me. Before we had kids I would cook a full meal every night. Now that we have 3, and I'm nursing the baby, I aim for 2 or 3 real dinners and the rest is frozen stuff, scrambled eggs, sandwiches. Does it ever get easier? When I get home everyone is looking at me to feed them and I want a break. Takeout seems like a waste of money and only solves one night so I haven't gone that route often. What are your secrets?

amother

Purple

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 11:46 am

My kids are grown and out of the house and I still don't go the whole nine yards for a weeknight dinner. Never have and probably never will. Shabbos leftovers are eaten till they're gone, and after that it's easy stuff like tuna salad, pasta, some cut-up raw veggies. Very little in the way of cooking except for shabbos. Now and then I'll make a lasagna and freeze it, or a big pot of soup that lasts at least a week if not two. I love making soup because it cooks itself after you've thrown everything in the pot.

Some of my kids enjoy cooking, some don't. Some are foodies, some are not. None was ever malnourished.

amother

Fuchsia

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 11:48 am

westchestermom wrote:

Stop dreading it and start looking at it as something you’re doing with love to nourish your family. Just do it.

tweety1

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 11:51 am

amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:

Stop dreading it and start looking at it as something you’re doing with love to nourish your family. Just do it.

Excuse me?! No. I so I get it. It's something I have to do. But sometimes we just need a break. It's only human. I too feel like I'm running a marathon. I need a break of 2 weeks no cooking. I love my family and I love my kitchen. But I need a break.

amother

Gray

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 12:21 pm

Op I totally get you!
However this issue is not going to go away anytime soon!
I find that for me even the so called 'easy suppers' get complicated when it becomes last minute because so much thought goes into "what can I make easy tonight".
What works for me is a semi-menu where I have a basic category designated for each day, and then I just need to choose something from that category.
So basically Sunday is leftovers, and then u designate a category for each day. You choose 1 day for dairy/pizza. One day for ground beef. One day for regular chicken. 1 day sandwiches/eggs. And you stick with that every week...
Good Luck!

amother

Fuchsia

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 12:23 pm

tweety1 wrote:

But She already ay nixed ways to ease the stress, nixed takeout,
. If it’s so stressful get takeout. If you don’t want to then you just want to complain and not problem solve.

amother

Silver

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 12:32 pm

Every sunday batch cook (at least 4 dinners worth) of 2 or 3 things.
Meatballs.
Shnitsel
Deli roll
Cookies
Whatever else you can use.
Then when you can mid week you cook (say one night)...2 nights you do your easy dinners and another night you pull out from the freezer.
My second tip is to cook enough shabbos food to feed people at least sunday night too. This way your only covering 4 dinners a week otherwise.

giselle

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 12:33 pm

2 or 3 “real” dinners and the rest of the week frozen stuff and sandwiches sounds like you have it under control. I don’t know what your kids like to eat (mine are so picky), but before corona when I actually had some kind of normal schedule, I made super easy dishes like chicken in a sauce with frozen veggies in one pan, steak and baked fries (there are healthier and less healthy options out there), eggs. One of my kids liked chicken soup with chicken so I’d try to have that ready for her to eat on Thursday (I was making it for shabbos anyway). Another one of kids loves shabbos leftovers so for him that’s at least one night if not two. Burgers are also really easy.

amother

Ivory

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 12:38 pm

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

I also do the semi menu and find it much easier. The weeks I can be bothered are better suppers and other weeks not (for instance one day is fish day-some weeks it will be salmon and potatoes and others fish fingers and fries). It means less headspace to start thinking what to make as it's already narrowed down.

tweety1

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 1:11 pm

amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:

But She already ay nixed ways to ease the stress, nixed takeout,
. If it’s so stressful get takeout. If you don’t want to then you just want to complain and not problem solve.

I don't know on what planet you live on. And if all she wants to complain?? Sometimes complaining to 10 ppl is enough to get it off your chest and that alone makes it easier to cope. It's the same idea as a good cry.

ra_mom

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 1:27 pm

You have a lot on your plate!
Can you buy pre-seasoned and pre-breaded chicken and meats? Freeze. Take out of the freezer and place in the fridge night before. Slide onto a cookie sheet and bake for 25 minutes when you get home?

Tirza

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 4:03 pm

Not one person here suggested that OP’s husband help out with dinner sometimes. We really are too easy on our husbands. Yes, I know that he does most of the child care and cleaning. But OP is working a demanding job and nursing a baby. If the roles were reversed, I’d bet that no one would expect the husband to take on full responsibility for shopping and cooking while working a demanding job.
OP, perhaps ask your husband to prepare dinner 2 or 3 times a week? The easy dinners, like pasta and eggs, should be well within his ability. Coming home EVERY DAY to a hungry family is stressing you out, rightfully so. If you had to cook only a few times a week rather than every day, it would probably feel a lot more manageable.

Frumme

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 4:54 pm

It's not the most exciting, but a rotating menu is really helpful. Have A and B weeks and make repetitive meals-- then you can send DH to the store to shop because he will know exactly what to buy.

E.g. one week can look like this: Sunday pasta and meat sauce w/ roasted zucchini. Monday schnitzel w/ rice and roasted broccoli. Tuesday no-boil baked ziti w/ Israeli salad. Wednesday baked fish w/ pasta and canned green beans. Thursday pizza bagels w/ fresh green salad. So every other week you'd do this menu and can tell DH exactly what to purchase.

Also, if you ever have the energy, make double of something... Like if you're going to be making lasagna, double everything and do it all twice then rather than having to boil and layer everything two different times.

westchestermom

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 4:58 pm

Tirza wrote:

I love this! He is not a master chef but he can certainly do easy things. I just feel guilty asking because I come home to him bathing a fed, happy baby. I will try to ask him once a week.

saw50st8

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 5:55 pm

Yes it gets easier!

As your kids get older, their needs are less immediate and it is easier to talk to them while you are preparing dinner. They can usually wait a little longer too. Here are some things that have helped me:

1) Crockpot dinners - I don't love them because everything in a crock pot tastes overdone to me, but that's ok.
2) Instantpot - it cooks things pretty quickly and hands off so I can dump some things in, turn it on and then deal with my kids while it is cooking
3) I buy some items that are easy to make even if they are slightly more expensive. So I may make a $20 beef roast during the week or buy breaded schnitzel but it is cheaper than take out.
4) Eggs are a totally fine meal
5) I try to chop vegetables and take something out from the freezer early in the morning (during normal life, I leave much earlier than my kids).
6) When I am really on my game, I bulk order and make freezer meals. I'll pull one out in the morning, put it to defrost in the oven and set a timer. I cook it at a little lower temperature for a little longer than normal.

It really does get physically better (but emotionally harder). You are doing great.

EsG

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 6:01 pm

When I do cook, I make a lot extra and freeze half or more to have a dinner ready to pull out and reheat. If I have a really productive week I can put 3 or 4 meals in there.

I hate having to dedicate a whole day to cooking. But once I am cooking anyway, might as well stock up a little. And then my family doesn't get tired of having the same leftovers throughout the week.

sunflower_seed

Mon, Jul 06 2020, 6:16 pm

I second crockpot.
Not for everyday but definitely gives you a "break" from standing in the kitchen.
Also you mentioned you need two weeks off kitchen, if that's not possible, try to get help with kids and/or household so that you are able to focus on "just cooking" . Hope you use disposables.