Tishaah Ba'av-first trimester

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

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amother

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 12:53 pm

How does anyone survive it? I am in my first trimester, feeling horrible, but when I don't eat, it becomes unbearable.

I'm terrified for Tishaah Ba'av.
Obviously, DH will ask a Rav, and I will break my fast if there is a danger (even though I don't get how will I know if there is a danger? No contractions yet. If I vomit too much? Pass out?)

But I am more scared for how I will survive the day. If I don't eat for literally an hour, my insides turn upside down. One day this week, I woke up late, and I hadn't eaten well the night before; the nausea was torture, and I couldn't get anything down, which only continued the cycle....

I'm terrified for how I will feel not eating for 25 hours.

Anyone has chizzuk?

mommy3b2c

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 12:54 pm

You will eat. It’s that simple. Been there done that.

amother

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 12:57 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

You will eat. It’s that simple. Been there done that.

Really? There is a heter to just eat on 9 Baav when pregnant? I thought only if a nidcheh....
What if this was Yom Kippur?

amother

Gray

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 12:58 pm

You'd be surprised by how many Rabbonim hold not to fast Tisha bav when pregnant. Call a Rav now so you don't stress for weeks and find out. I haven't fasted anything but YK in a few years between pregnant and nursing and we're generally machmir in most shaalos.

lasagna

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 12:59 pm

Try taking the Kal tzom pills for preg women and don't get out of bed for anything. Fidn a good book to distract yourself.

amother

Amethyst

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 1:04 pm

I am in my first trimester too and I literally could eat all night. I do not stop eating.

I have fasted before on tisha baav and survived. I did not go outdoors and ate and drank really well before.
I took caffeine pill as well.

ask all your shailos before the fast to keep you calm.

amother

Blush

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 1:05 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Ask your rav. You may not need to fast. When I was pregnant I was told that in the morning I can eat breakfast if I feel I need to, but at chatzos I MUST eat a good lunch. And I was not high risk or anything. I just don't fast well in general.
(When I was nursing I was told to try to go until chatzos if possible, and if it's after chatzos I should break my fast as soon as I feel I need to, and not wait until I'm already dizzy and weak. He said it's not a mitzvah to push myself that extra hour if I'll feel sick the rest of the day, because I need to be able to take care of my children.)

notshanarishona

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 1:05 pm

I was given a heter even to break fast on Yom Kippur with hg / vomiting multiple times a day while I was on iv.

flowerpower

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 1:06 pm

Drink a lot of water starting 3 days before the fast
Eating whole grains like brown rice pasta which will keep you going for a while
Stay indoors only!!!
Take it easy. Nap when needed
Make sure the ac is on all day

amother

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 1:32 pm

Thanks everyone. I will call Rav to find out about heter.

happy chick

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 1:38 pm

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

That's very interesting, cuz fasting when nursing is SO much harder than when pg.

amother

Jetblack

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 1:46 pm

happy chick wrote:

That's very interesting, cuz fasting when nursing is SO much harder than when pg.

Its physically harder but you’re not risking the baby.

Op tisha b’av is more lenient than you kippur. But if you can stay in bed all day then you may be able to pull through.

4g01o

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 1:57 pm

Your Rav will tell you not to fast. If he does, sorry he shouldn't be a Rav bc he's never been through the hell of the first trimester. You only fast Yom Kippur! Feel better. Bh for a good reason Smile

I went to the mother and baby home one year and all of us new mothers ate a good hearty meal that evening on tisha b'av!

giselle

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 2:00 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Really? There is a heter to just eat on 9 Baav when pregnant? I thought only if a nidcheh....
What if this was Yom Kippur?

One of my kids was born shortly before the nine days, and I was told not to fast tisha bav. I was also surprised because I kind of equated it with Yom Kippur, but it’s really not the same. (Btw, not everyone fast yk either, but there are much stricter guidelines.)

amother

Pewter

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 2:12 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Lay in bed, you’ll be fine.

amother

Seafoam

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 2:16 pm

Just knowing you have a heter to break the fast if needed will help you be less anxious. So call a rav sooner than later, so you don't have this anxiety hanging over you.

amother

Blonde

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 2:41 pm

Sometimes a rav will tell you to start, and if you feel bad, to break it. It is important that you tell the rav everything that is here, including that feeling sick from starting can start a cycle that is difficult to break. Psaks are individualized, not blanket. Yes, some women fast and are fine. Yes, some women never fast. Find out what's for you.

tichellady

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 3:16 pm

happy chick wrote:

That's very interesting, cuz fasting when nursing is SO much harder than when pg.

Depends on the person, fasting when pregnant was not even an option for me.

amother

Chocolate

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 3:31 pm

Fab4 wrote:

I went to the mother and baby home one year and all of us new mothers ate a good hearty meal that evening on tisha b'av!

A yoledes is in a different category halachically than a meuberes.

amother

Pumpkin

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 4:16 pm

I am in the first trimester and feel horrible. I will be about 12-13 weeks by Tisha b'av and don't know yet what I will do. I am normally a great faster, yesterday I didn't attempt because I am pregnant. Yesterday I got really dizzy and felt horrible even though I wasn't fasting. I probably will ask a shaila.

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