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Anyone backing out of sending daughter to seminary in EY
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 8:31 am
Our daughter is supposed to start seminary after Sukkos. With all the unknown, restrictions and rules and regulations, we are having doubts....
Are girls backing out, looking into alternative plans?
To send or not to send?
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amother




Lemon
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 2:52 pm
We are in the exact same place as you are.
We are very uncomfortable with the situation in EY but have not yet definitively decided to back out.
Would also like to hear what others are doing....
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amother




Blonde
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 3:16 pm
I am the OP of the thread "Rethinking Seminary" from two weeks ago. We made the final decision not to send her last week The Seminary is refunding out deposit.
She will be starting at Touro Be"h a year earlier than originally planned
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Cheiny




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 3:17 pm
amother [ Blonde ] wrote:
I am the OP of the thread "Rethinking Seminary" from two weeks ago. We made the final decision not to send her last week The Seminary is refunding out deposit.
She will be starting at Touro Be"h a year earlier than originally planned


Good for you. Smart move.
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 3:23 pm
We're really close to not sending ds. I posted about it a few weeks ago. He is nervous too. We were very close to sending but the initial quarantine requirements, including groups of 6, got him very nervous.

ETA the backup plan is YU, who have described their enrollment this semester as "robust."
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amother




Green
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 3:28 pm
Someone sent me this. I dont know anything about them, but it probably cant hurt to contact them

Important: Israel Seminaries
We are forming an Israel Parents Alliance for those who plan to send their daughters to seminary in Eretz Yisroel this coming year.
With so much unknown, it is crucial that we protect our best interests, and our daughters’ best interests. Many rumors are swirling about the possibility of seminaries operating under less-than-ideal situations and many of us are justifiably concerned about our substantial financial investment and the emotional well-being of our daughters.
Email IsraelParents2020@gmail.com to join the group.
Spread the word to friends and neighbors and anyone else who may be sending their daughters.
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giselle




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 3:28 pm
From what I’m hearing about the rules set in place at least for the beginning of the year, I think the girls will miss out on much of the Israel seminary experience. Seems like a waste to me.
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amother




Pewter
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 3:31 pm
My daughter is going into 12th grade. I'm thinking very seriously about having her apply only to North American seminaries.
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amother




Gold
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 3:43 pm
You are selling your kids short. The yeshivas and seminaries are working night and day to ensure a safe, uplifting experience. They have haskamos from gedolei hador.
Your children will thrive in Eretz yisrael. Chaval to take that away from them.
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 3:50 pm
amother [ Gold ] wrote:
You are selling your kids short. The yeshivas and seminaries are working night and day to ensure a safe, uplifting experience. They have haskamos from gedolei hador.
Your children will thrive in Eretz yisrael. Chaval to take that away from them.


I agree that the schools are doing their best, and that the full conditions will likely not last the whole year. I also think that there are a lot of benefits to being able to actually be with peers vs at home on a computer, which is what they will likely do for college. And they don't even have to wear masks in their capsules.

But it is scary for both parents and kids for them to be a long plan ride away during this. The schools can't control travel, and there is no clarity over whether the kid can go back if they go home for a bit. And for some kids, the parts of the experience that they can't do now really are much of the point. Everyone has to make their own cheshbon.
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amother




Blonde
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 4:03 pm
amother [ Gold ] wrote:
You are selling your kids short. The yeshivas and seminaries are working night and day to ensure a safe, uplifting experience. They have haskamos from gedolei hador.
Your children will thrive in Eretz yisrael. Chaval to take that away from them.


Taking them away from what exactly?
Being trapped in seminary for weeks on end like.jail? The Israeli government has already said they will not hesitate to deport any foreign students who don't strictly follow the rules. My daughter's seminary has sais they will take the girls on tiyulim where they'll be able to see the holy people of eretz Yisroel from the busses. They are working day and night to ensure they don't lose their livelihoods. I get that. That's why they have the haskamos of the gedolim of eretz Yisroel. A lot of people will lose their parnasa if all the seminaries close down. But I am not required to send my daughter into an uncertain if not dangerous situation because of their parnasa. The American Rabbanim are NOT encouraging sending in the current situation.

Touro college will have in person classes. She will not be sitting at home on the computer
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1ofbillions




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 4:27 pm
I went to seminary in Israel and gained from the experience in many ways, but would most definitely not spending 20k to send my child there this year. A large part of what makes the experience so great is the independence the girls have, the freedom to roam the country and have chavayot and meet new and interesting people all around the country. They won't have that this year.
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Cheiny




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 4:30 pm
amother [ Gold ] wrote:
You are selling your kids short. The yeshivas and seminaries are working night and day to ensure a safe, uplifting experience. They have haskamos from gedolei hador.
Your children will thrive in Eretz yisrael. Chaval to take that away from them.


Ridiculous, they can have just as meaningful an experience in the US. I never liked the whole fad thing of having to send kids to Israel after high school and those who feared they wouldn’t get a shidduch otherwise. Maybe Hashem is sending us a message.
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amother




Gray
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 4:44 pm
I'm probably backing out too. Just looking into options in the tri state area.
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 4:59 pm
Fyi, Touro is currently planning on in person classes (with remote options), except for the professors who need to teach remotely. But if the NY area ends up in the same situation that Israel is in now, they will likely revert to remote learning. They plan to reevaluate their decisions for after the yamim tovim. It's just a different model.
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PinkFridge




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Aug 04 2020, 8:28 pm
Cheiny wrote:
Ridiculous, they can have just as meaningful an experience in the US. I never liked the whole fad thing of having to send kids to Israel after high school and those who feared they wouldn’t get a shidduch otherwise. Maybe Hashem is sending us a message.


I think this is an important point. Seminary does not equal EY. There are phenomenal programs in the US, excellent classes and meaningful extra programming.
Don't get me wrong, EY sems offer this more plus the experience of EY.
But girls who've been through US seminaries can really grow.
What I wonder about is dorm options for OOT girls.
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amother




Seagreen
 

Post  Wed, Aug 05 2020, 1:39 am
[quote="amother [ Blonde ]"The Seminary is refunding our deposit.
[/quote]

Kudos to them - of course it's the right thing to do, but it's so good to hear that they're doing it.
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mandksima




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Aug 05 2020, 10:39 am
I don't propose to change anyone's mind but I have to say my mind. I don't want to be responsible for not speaking up. Perhaps what I write will invoke feelings in some, one never knows. The only reason why American rabbonim would oppose sending young adults overseas at this point has to do with still having their blinders on. The world has totally changed and the place to be, under any circumstances, would be Israel. Rabbis are not meant to be used in place of your own mind and relationship with Hashem. Rabbis made up the great men who were the spies and those and the rest of the rabbis of the time died out in the desert. Today, of all days, on Tu B'av, is when they stopped dying and perhaps today, of all days, you can decide on your own, especially as women who had no part in the sin and who will be the ones to bring in the geula. The rabbis were blamed and received the death sentence. The women were spared but they suffered the losses greatly. Yehoshua and Calev who were the righteous rabbis of the time never suggested staying away from Israel even at the cost of leaving their sheltered lives and becoming conquerers and agricultural hands and builders. The gedolim of Israel today can be compared to Yehshua and Calev. Don't follow the princes of the other tribes.

This just makes me so sad. People are looking at this situation with eyes as if we aren't in the times we are in. The young people who come to Israel this coming year will hopefully be able to greet Moshiach the moment he is revealed. All the families still in America will have to wait until they get here. The biggest gift to give to your children is to send them. Israel will be the safest and most wonderful place to be in many regards. The better thing is to come on aliyah as a family. Use this push to be there with your adult child this year. But if you can't for any reason, at least don't delay in sending your kids ahead of you. Seminary and Yeshiva does not have to mean traveling around the country and getting the full experience as a tourist. That may or may not happen later on in the year. Just breathing the air, walking dalet amot, surrounding oneself with the learning that can't be compared to anywhere else in the world and joining the rest of Am Yisrael who are here is enough a reason. Do you not realize that even a minute in the Holy Land is worth more than an entire life outside it?

Why is everyone thinking in a shortsighted way? Send as many young people as you can! Hopefully, they will stay, find a place for you and you all will join them ASAP when moshiach is fully revealed. There is no going back to the old normal so why start them on their adult life in an abnormal America? You won't have the merit of sending them in perfect times in America where it is the greatest merit as you are leaving something hard to leave. At least, they will still come even though they are leaving someplace which is ready to be left. In Israel, the geula is becoming more and more clear every day. Everyone will be returning very soon, why block your children from having the best experience? Sorry, but no matter how carona might change a few things here, there is no better place to be than in Israel now and always. Hashem puts lots of illusions in front of our eyes but the truth of EY is never muddled as it is clear from the Torah. I do understand about listening to the rabbonim in general but if they are repeating the sins of the spies and not recommending Israel, you are not required to listen to their advice. Ask them how they differ from the spies' advice! You can instead listen to the gedolim of EY who are warning everyone to come as soon as they can, no matter what they have to leave. They don't have their blinders on and can see the geula differently. They are not only considering the parnassa of yeshivot, they want klal yisrael to come and be as safe as they can be and usher in the geula in the best way. We will be asked in olam haba if we anticipated the geula and if we were actively looking for the signs Hashem was sending us in order to see when moshiach is coming. Every gadol in EY and most in America are saying now is the time, it's already late! Carona, civil and economic issues are huge signs.Those are recent ones. EY exporting fruits and vegetables, kibbutz galluiot almost over, these are older signs. Are you going to tell Hashem that you didn't notice that these are signs? The gedolim are saying they are! Your neshama is agreeing even if your logic is trying to convince you otherwise. If you're weighing all of the issues, why aren't you weighing this? It's the most important one! Just send your kids and consider them the luckiest ones to get out first and be here. They don't even have to make aliyah in order to come. They are getting a free pass which all other Jews are denied. My MIL can't even come now to visit her grandchildren. You all underestimate the independence of your kids. They'll be fine. They are strong. They are the next generation. They will live with the reign of Moshiach as part of their reality. Why deny them this? I'm sure anyone that cancelled can reapply and be able to send their kids. It's hopefully not too late.
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post  Wed, Aug 05 2020, 10:53 am
Mandksima, I hear you. But would you say the same thing if the young adult themself does not want to go at this time? To separate themself from their family?
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amother




Gray
 

Post  Wed, Aug 05 2020, 11:03 am
Mandksima,
Beautiful post.
I am actually one of the people backing out. We were supposed to be in Israel now on a pilot trip for my kids to see and feel out living in Israel and where. (We are Heimish and would need to see which community would work).
So I'm with you about Aliya. However it is not possible to come right now. Borders are shut. I am backing out because I am not sure my daughter will be able to go later on either, as things look unpredictable, and to put away 30k for that right now doesn't make sense for us.
Hopefully we can come as a family once borders open and give them the experience then, hopefully with Moshiach. For now the most sensible plan is to keep her here for now and make plans accordingly.
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