Anyone backing out of sending daughter to seminary in EY

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:48 am

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

My daughter's friends who are there are miserable. And please don't condescendingly tell me homesickness is "normal" like someone did on another thread. There is nothing remotely normal about this situation. They have been trapped for weeks with no end in sight. They weren't allowed to visit family members in Israel (even after quarantine and before lockdown) There is serious talk about coming home. I don't understand why anyone would knowingly pay $25,000 to send their daughters into this situation. It's an embarrassment that the seminaries didn't close down for this year.

All of this was known months ago. I'm not sure why anyone is surprised.

Some people paid 25k because they think it's worth it anyways. Some people didn't, because they understood what the new rules meant. And I guess some people live in lala land and figured that the rules wouldn't apply by the time they came, or wouldn't apply to them...

I'm sorry people are miserable. This set of circumstances IS what they signed up for, though, so I hope they can find the bright side and focus on it.

amother

Ivory

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 9:55 am

Some sems are being stricter than the law and not letting kids out of the campus because they want to avoid putting girls in bidud. They are more worried of needing to lock up kids for two weeks again than anything else at this point.
So yes, Madrichot and Admin will be VERY VERY strict about keeping different restrictions religiously.
Sorry, but from where I sit in Israel I can't picture how the girls are NOT miserable in sem.

banana123

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 10:02 am

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

Why, though?

They have their classes. They have friends. They have lots of green area and outdoors areas around their campuses (unlike many Israelis, who don't have lots of green within their 1km).

They have on-campus chagim, and almost certainly every seminary is ensuring that there is a minyan the girls can daven with on campus, safely. That's more than many Israelis can say. But many many girls (and yeshiva bochurim) find that chagim on campus are very powerful and moving in ways that regular years' chagim were not. So will this be an amazing season or horrible? That probably depends on the girl and the seminary, but it's far from certain that it will all be miserable.

They can't go shopping, basa. They can't go hang at Kikar Tzion. Sheesh, big basa. They can't tour or explore - now that IS a shame, but hopefully they'll get to do some of that later in the year.

They can't go to their chesed families, but most girls probably wouldn't bet set up for that yet anyways. They can't do out Shabbatot, but at this point in the year they would've had maybe 2-3 of those, and in Shabbatot are far from miserable.

I fail to see why the girls must be miserable in seminary this year. And as you probably know (I don't know who you are), I do live in Israel.

amother

Ivory

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 10:10 am

banana123 wrote:

You made very valid points.
Truth is, I went to ofakim for post high and what you described was basically my experience. Our campus was our home, our school and our safe haven.
We were basically isolated from the rest of the world. It was wonderful and I loved every single day.
The only difference was that we also had vocational studies. I studied computers half the day and loved it. I can't imagine only having kodesh classes all day, every day. But that is just me.
In any case, if the girls really came to Sem with the mindset that they wouldn't be doing all the regular sem stuff they could have a great year.
But did they really?
And are the sems really set up to handle the girls FULL time?

Elfrida

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 10:11 am

banana123 wrote:

Just saying that not every seminary has a campus or green space. The one down the road from me is one large building, and there are a few similar ones in the neighbourhood. One the other hand, those girls don't seem to be limited exclusively to the seminary building; girls visit from other local seminaries (and the visits are probably reciprocated), and I see plenty of the girls walking freely around the neighbourhood.

banana123

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 10:19 am

Elfrida wrote:

Fair enough. My apologies to anyone whose daughter does not have any green space in her sem.

banana123

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 10:23 am

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

Well, the classes depend on the seminary, but they'd have the same classes with or without lockdown. Cool

The mindset depends on the girl. I was in seminary in a regular year, and we had girls who were always miserable over petty things, and happy-go-lucky girls who took everything in stride and weren't miserable even when things didn't go as hoped, expected, or planned.

I assume all seminaries have made preparations to accommodate girls staying in full time. It might not be easy for the madrichot, though.

amother

Green

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 10:26 am

My dd's seminary doesn't have a campus. But like I posted, they're allowed to walk around the neighborhood as long as they stick to the guidelines of the lockdown.

The seminary is also keeping them very well entertained. I'm really impressed with how much thought and effort they're putting into this.

And I was very uncomfortable with sending her. I was very nervous that we were making the wrong decision. Now I'm so happy that she went.

amother

Aubergine

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 11:09 am

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

I concede that point, but she didn't have to scream at them and threaten to call the police. She could have suggested that they meet with their friends in the yard or a nearby park.

It sounds like she could have reacted more calmly. On the other hand, a school that's found to be violating the rules can have its entire program shut down. And even if that doesn't happen, it's pretty awful if the girls get corona and they and all the staff have to go into quarantine. (Best case scenario. Chas veshalom someone gets really sick.)

So, yeah, I'd be pretty worked up if I were responsible for a bunch of girls who were being put at risk by their friends.

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 11:38 am

fleetwood wrote:

If we paid before covid hit and can't get a refund of the 25000$, then there really isn't a choice but to send them.

Yes, not all of the seminaries offered to refund students who backed out. Also, think of it this way: If you live OOT (as I do), your dd would have to go away anyhow as there's no local seminary option. Once you add up the local sem tuition plus room, board, and transportation home for shabbos/YT/vacations, it's pretty much the same and she's where? NJ? Brooklyn? Blah.
At least she's in EY, and it's a WHOLE YEAR! A lot can change in a year, and beezrat hashem by spring they'll be able to go on tons of tiyulim and move around freely.

amother

Green

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 2:13 pm

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

I Don’t understand if a girl
Chooses not to go to seminary because of Covid doesn’t the seminary have to refund the parents?

Out seminary gave the option to back out and be refunded. They also didnt charge anyones credit cards or deposit any checks once Covid hit. They waited until they knew if they could open and what the restrictions would be and then gave us a few days to make a decision.

amother

Bronze

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 3:11 pm

Rappel wrote:

I could imagine it being quite fun to be locked up with all the girls. It would be a real chavaya. Miserable is as miserable chooses to be.

This! My daughter went and is having an great time. Kol hakavod to all of the seminaries for working extra hard to make sure everyone is safe, cared for and having a good experience. The logistics of it must be immense.

If a girl, or her parents, look at the experience as being locked up and locked in, the experience will be more of a negative one. If they look at it as an opportunity to meet new people, teachers and have great classes, the experience can be amazing. From what my daughter tells me, they are allowed to go out, they see their friends, they can visit relatives outside and she loves the in-Shabbosim. I'm so happy we chose to send her, although I do understand if people chose not to considering the expense and the circumstance. It definitely is not a typical seminary experience, but it is still a seminary experience. And it can be a great experience with the right mind frame.

amother

Mint

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 4:39 pm

amother [ Slategray ] wrote:

And to be honest, I think I would have been much happier on Sukkos if we had had a seminary sukkah and seudos instead of getting placed at random families...

I'll agree with that. I hated being expected to go out every Shabbos in seminary, whether it was to people I knew or Shabbos placements. I've been reading about spending every Shabbos (and Chag) in the seminary, and rather envying those girls.