If you carpool all year - How?

chocolatecake

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 10:17 am

There is a good chance that my kids schools will not have busing this coming year. I know that some communities never have busing and I am trying to figure out how this happens. I have a preschool daughter, and an elementary son and daughter and a baby. I can only be in one place at a time and kids can't be left alone so how can I possibly join a carpool. The only thing that makes sense to me is drop all my kids off and pick them all up every day which is also crazy.

amother

Fuchsia

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 10:19 am

I have no advice but I know that it’s a lifestyle that drives your decisions in scheduling your work hours, your vehicle purchases and your friendships. G’Luck.

mha3484

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 10:32 am

We have a bus but due to different reasons I dont use it both ways and I only started when my son was in 2nd grade. I drive my kids in the morning since I have to go to work anyway its easier for me to just get everyone in the car drop off at the different schools and be done. Last year when I had one in Elem and one in nursery (same school but different buildings down the street) I would drop my oldest off on time and my younger one a few minutes late. This year I have a 3rd kid in playgroup that starts at 9 so I will drop him off last.

DH used to do the picking up but after one crazy year where he felt all he did was drive carpool all day I put my oldest on the bus home for the next year and it was better then I thought it would be so we will keep it for this year. I was hesitant due to the behavior issues so I pushed it off as long as I could.

mha3484

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 10:37 am

Our first experience with the bus was going to school and I hated how early it came, how rushed our mornings were waking up and breakfast was a lot of fighting. When we went back to driving it was a lot calmer for all of us. You might find you like not being dependent on the bus.

amother

Cerulean

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 10:45 am

My kids and I definitely enjoy carpooling more than a bus. But I don't have rigid work hours so I can do it.
I also don't have different ages in different buildings that require different drop off times.
And I only share carpool with 1 family. Even with just 1 there were some common carpool issues that irked me.
I can't imagine how people deal with multiple families and multiple drop off times.

amother

Periwinkle

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 10:50 am

How many seats are in your car? If you have a minivan, then you can either pick up one or two elementary kids for that carpool (are your two elementary kids in the same school?). So you find a family with that many kids who, say, prefers to drive home. You drive there, and pick up her kid(s), and do all your drop offs. If the preschool is separate and later, you can have a second carpool and pick up as many kids as you have seats left that can accommodate boosters. Then you go home. In the afternoon, the other person drives your elementary kids, and maybe another for the preschool carpool (which may have more than two drivers so you drive less.) And that's it. Vary as needed.

Be very clear of your rules before you start, no eating, timeliness is important to me, etc. Don't carpool with your best friend with kids of perfect ages if she's the type to run late a lot (unless having that kind of fluidity works for you.)

amother

Hotpink

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 10:59 am

It’s a lot of juggling and it’s definitely complicated. A lot of people where I live have their cleaning ladies babysit while they drive carpool. People who don’t want to or can’t do that will make smaller carpools arrangement like they pick up girls every day and someone else picks up boys every day so it’s less kids and you can still fit your others kids in your car or they’ll carpool with neighbors so they don’t have to worry about kids getting home before them.

chocolatecake

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 11:05 am

My elementary school kids are in two different buildings. We are talking about an 830, 845, and 9:00 dropoff and then a 3:00 4:15 and 4:30 pickup. My husband works early hours so he is not home at all in morning crunch time but he can do the 3:00 pickup on the way home from his work and I can can technically do the other two on my way home. It is really going to be intense if there is no bus!

amother

Peach

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 11:09 am

Are other people starting to work out carpools? If you wait too late, you will be left out, so start talking to others and see what is being formed.
Sometimes teachers will drive kids to or from school for a set fee. Even if you do that for one school, it helps.

mha3484

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 11:09 am

If that is the case I would divide it up you do the mornings and he does the afternoons. Cant your husband take the youngest kid and go back out at 4 and 4:15?

amother

Peach

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 11:12 am

mha3484 wrote:

If that is the case I would divide it up you do the mornings and he does the afternoons. Cant your husband take the youngest kid and go back out at 4 and 4:15?

This actually sounds like your best option.
Carpooling can be brutal. There can be bad feuds and feelings and grudges that last for years. I grew up in a carpooling community so I tell you this firsthand.

chocolatecake

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 12:00 pm

amother [ Peach ] wrote:

Yea. thats a good idea. I work till 4 so I am out already so I was just assuming I'd pick them up on the way home (even though its the opposite direction) - but this is smarter. Also I will get to make dinner in peace. I was really dreading walking in the door from work with 2 cranky kids expecting dinner and I'd only be able to start then.

mha3484

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 12:05 pm

You can also do errands, make a dr apt for yourself whatever personal stuff you need to take care of without the pressure of getting the kids from school.

amother

Puce

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 12:07 pm

I’m actually carpooling this summer and enjoying it.
Just for the afternoon, just for the girls, we decide at the beginning of each week, no long term commitments.
I’ve tried doing morning/afternoon carpools and they’ve never ended well.

amother

Peach

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 12:18 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

It's a different ball of wax when it is for an entire school year and you are locked in. That's all I will say.

amother

Puce

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 3:36 pm

amother [ Peach ] wrote:

It's a different ball of wax when it is for an entire school year and you are locked in. That's all I will say.

Oh yeah. I’m just saying that once in a while a carpool-type arrangement can actually work out. But we live in Lakewood and if you’re over a mile from the school you get bussing. We’re very careful to live over a mile away because traffic here is crazy and carpools are impossible.

amother

Periwinkle

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 5:05 pm

If you decide to divide up between you and dh, which sounds really doable, I would identify one or more people who can help you out in a crunch. And you can help them in return. So you don't have a whole carpool setup, but if you or dh gets sick or there's an appointment or something unavoidable, you have a backup.

amother

Khaki

Tue, Aug 04 2020, 5:11 pm

I live in a carpooling community and it is really really hard. My 5 kids are on 5 different schedules in 4 different locations. 2 of those campuses are 20 min away. My husband works 7-5. I work around the carpool schedule, as in 915 til 330ish. A lot of stress and coordination. I can't drive them all each day because of the different locations, it would take 1.5 h to do the route. I drive a different carpool every am and every PM. It's very stressful. And with a baby on the way.... I have no idea how that will happen.
I am happy to pay ppl to drive for me which is common here but this year a popular option and I cant find an opening.