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Can I do this? Ask mil to bring food for Shabbos

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Aug 05 2020, 8:37 pm
My in laws are the type to invite themselves to us. They have very specific dietary needs and also are used to eating a lot more than I normally make. I don’t have the time or inclination to slave away in the kitchen when I despise being there and usually do bare bone basics. Can I ask my mil to bring some stuff when she invites herself or is that rude or disrespectful?
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ra_mom




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Aug 05 2020, 8:40 pm
When she calls to ask, say kindly would you be able to bring your spelt challah and fish with you (whatever you need)?, before you respond. I think it's fine.
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amother




Lilac
 

Post  Wed, Aug 05 2020, 8:42 pm
If they come often, I’d possibly ask.
If it’s once in a while that Id host them, I’d go out of my way and make/buy everything for them.
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notshanarishona




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Aug 05 2020, 8:43 pm
Of course you can ask. You can also tell them I am making x,y, and z, feel free to bring anything more than that that you want.
My in-laws are vegetarians and do gluten free diet , I used to go crazy stressing every time they came until finally we decided that I will not cook separate meals for them, they are welcome to use my kitchen And I finally started enjoying their visits.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Aug 05 2020, 8:48 pm
notshanarishona wrote:
Of course you can ask. You can also tell them I am making x,y, and z, feel free to bring anything more than that that you want.
My in-laws are vegetarians and do gluten free diet , I used to go crazy stressing every time they came until finally we decided that I will not cook separate meals for them, they are welcome to use my kitchen And I finally started enjoying their visits.


This is exactly what I want to accomplish. I know that if I have to cook up a storm every time and cook in a way that I have no clue how to, I’ll just end up resentful and start making a big deal when they ask. If they bring their special food with them I can tolerate it a lot better.
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silverlining3




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Aug 05 2020, 9:04 pm
Were they ever by you before? Do they really expect you to know how to cook their specific food?
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Aug 05 2020, 9:13 pm
silverlining3 wrote:
Were they ever by you before? Do they really expect you to know how to cook their specific food?


Yes and yes
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silverlining3




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Aug 05 2020, 9:20 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yes and yes


Hmmm.... I was just wondering aloud
Wow. It's tough. Hope you find some way out.
Good luck
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amother




Blonde
 

Post  Wed, Aug 05 2020, 9:44 pm
If they're inviting themselves, absolutely.
If you're inviting them then that's rude.
So in your case I'd say go for it.
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