How do you feel when you leave someone outside?

amother

Saddlebrown

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 2:37 pm

So, has this point ever been clarified?

Were they home when OPs son showed up at the door and didn’t let him in, or were they away and the expectation was that they would make arrangements for him to be let in? Or they should have rushed home from wherever they were so he wouldn’t be left outside?

amother

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 2:55 pm

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

He arrived at 8.30 in the morning, when they were still home.
And to the previous poster, he was tired from traveling all night, so had to rest first. Then he indeed went to a shop for some food and drink and also went for a walk.

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 3:06 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I am blown away by your attitude. Your son shows up on a vacationing couples doorstep at 830 am ?! How do YOU feel about that? I would be mortified and feeling terribly guilty. Said couple then agrees to drive him an hour away after spending a full day out, but says, sorry we cant put you up for the day. And you are annoyed with them?! They dont owe you explanations... why would you even think you are entitled to any. Im sure that yiddishe mamme felt bad that someone elses child had no plans for the day, but the burden of that rests on YOU...not on her! Frankly I think you should think this through really well amd while Im sure you are sad and hurt that your son felt homeless, you need to realize whose responsibility that was (your sons and yours). I also dont understand how instead of intense gratitiude for the free ride and time, you are judgemental and annoyed and feeling that they somehow owe you more.

crust

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 3:15 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I think that if I would be in your place and would be so confused I would give this neighbor a call and after thanking her for driving him I would ask her in a gentle manner what happened.

I like clarity and I prefer to know the truth even if it hurts rather than to assume.

amother

Powderblue

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 3:52 pm

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

According to op, if friend needed to drive an hour to the train station to pick him up, that means leaving the home at 7:30 a.m.
That's not the kind of favor you casually ask a friend. That's the favor you ask in a emergency situation. Or from a family member. Not a friend with arrangements so casual that the phone was never picked up to have an actual verbal conversation where you profusely express your gratitude and clarify the details. Way beyond a simple box of chocolates, too.

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 4:04 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

OP-
1-was there no one else he knew there? No one else from your community?
2- was it not better to travel on by train instead of waiting around a whole day?
3- if he was going to camp, why was he not with other campers?
4- why did he arrive early morn if you knew they would not be available until evening, was that the only time he had a train/ bus to Switzerland?
5- he told you he was outside, was there no other arrangements you or he could have organized?

Thanx for replying

amother

Cerise

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 4:06 pm

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

So well said. Op you should be thanking this couple that they drove your son to save you $70 stop complaining about them you are being so ungrateful. Why did you even ask for such a huge favor when someone is on vacation. It looks like you are used to just taking and taking from people that you are so spoiled you don’t appreciate a favor and you just expect more and more.

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 4:12 pm

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

Hey, this was totally uncalled for. Making assumptions about the OP is just as bad as making assumptions about the hosts.

amother

Cerise

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 4:24 pm

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

Hey, this was totally uncalled for. Making assumptions about the OP is just as bad as making assumptions about the hosts.

It’s not an assumption she is complaining about a chessed someone did for her. This whole thread is disgusting. She is complaining about someone who did her a favor they went out of their way in their vacation and not one word of thanks just complaining how ungrateful can a person be only a selfish person will keep on complaining again and again and not realize how spoiled they sound.

Blessing1

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 4:36 pm

amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:

If it's an hour each way and they arrived home at 8:30 AM, this means the man left before 6:30 AM while on vacation to give a ride to a neighbor!!! This is a tremendous kindness and favor, so there must be more to the story than the wife saying "I don't let you in to my home".

amother

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 4:38 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

1.We don't know where people go on vacation. We're not going with my own community. Everyone finds there own place to go.
2. Traveling by train meant going with 2 trains, walk 15 min and then another 2 cable cars. All by himself with his suitcases, in a place where he doesn't know the language. I wouldn't do it myself, so I couldn't let him do it.
3. We were meant to go on vacation but I got corona so my family can't travel. ( He was in yeshiva so he didn't have to quarantine).
So we needed to change plans, so I sent him to this camp but had to find a way to get him there.
4. Yes, was a difficult situation with the corona red zones etc. Buses were cancelled and then went a day or 2 later. I couldn't choose.
5. He didn't tell me he's outside till it was over. I asked him in which bed are you sleeping, he said they didn't have a spare bed, I took a chair. Only at night he told me the story.

lilies

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 4:48 pm

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

Uncalled for.
This thread isn't disgusting. This is exactly what threads were created for.
I didn't find that OP was complaining, only quite bewildered to find out her child wasn't actually hosted.
Nothing spoiled, nor selfish.

amother

Pink

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 4:49 pm

Wish I would know mommy 3 in real life. She comes across as a special person with a golden heart.

Op, I think you should request this thread to be locked. I'm honestly baffled at so many mean and nasty responses. You heard it all and won't get anymore nice replies like mommy3 gave you

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 4:50 pm

OP
First things first, refuah shlaima
Now we understand a little more why you are so upset. You had plans and they had to be changed and you did your best. As a mother you are upset that your child went through this, especially as you say , that you would not have allowed a child/ teen to be alone.
But if there were other yidden there, then your son was ok and he learned that he can be independent and resilient.

Where do you live?

Sunny Days

Sun, Aug 09 2020, 4:51 pm

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

Yup. The assumptions people make is astonishing & disgusting to be quite honest.
Even if, let’s say it was a lack of judgment on ops part (which to my mind does NOT seem like). The harsh responses were very uncalled for. It’s NOT how you gently ‘Kler uif’ someone.