Overheard in the school supplies section...

amother

Sun, Aug 30 2020, 9:44 pm

A mother telling her 8/9 year old son "we found everything we need now go choose something cool, something that the other kids will think is cool" Confused

It was quite strange to hear this.
Why teach your child that self worth depends on having cool things??

amother

Magenta

Sun, Aug 30 2020, 9:47 pm

I was that mom and I said it because we're aliens from another planet and I thought being cool would help my son blend in better in his human disguise.

amother

Sun, Aug 30 2020, 9:49 pm

amother [ Magenta ] wrote:

I was that mom and I said it because we're aliens from another planet and I thought being cool would help my son blend in better in his human disguise.

momX4

Sun, Aug 30 2020, 10:01 pm

Maybe they agreed to get no frills supplies and then choosing one extravagant thing, like expensive pens.

I do that with my kids. We get cheap supplies but my kids like a specific pen that isnt cheap.

Blessing1

Sun, Aug 30 2020, 10:04 pm

You can't know what's going on in their lives or what the kid is going through. Just be them dan l'kaf zchus and go on with life. No need to make this into a discussion.

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Aug 30 2020, 10:08 pm

Why look for bad in what is probably a perfectly innocent transaction.

Most parents do this kind of thing - promise something fun or cool or special that isn't the least expensive or most practical item - whether it is school supplies or clothing or whatever. Based on the limited interaction you heard, it doesn't appear that the mother was being wildly extravagant with the purchases.

And given the numerous threads in which imamothers seek advice on helping their kids fit in, make friends in one way or another, this seems run of the mill. Something cool on the first day of school is an icebreaker for starters.

silverlining3

Sun, Aug 30 2020, 10:11 pm

Could've practically been anything!!! I'm not gonna lie, I would probably turn my head to see who that mom is. But then I would think, maybe that's the boys language? Maybe they made up, if he'll behave while shopping he'll be able to choose something 'cool'. Maybe it's a struggling child or family and cool things makes them happy-feel with it. Not everything is obvious to our naked eye.

amother

cornflower

Sun, Aug 30 2020, 10:14 pm

I'm guessing those are the kid's words.

"Mom, why can't we ever get something cool?"
"Your things are cool."
"You're a mom. Maybe this stuff was cool thirty years ago. Nobody today thinks so. Can we please get something the other guys will think is cool?"
"I'll tell you what- we shop at Walmart for the basics, and then you can choose one thing that's cool for the guys."

groovy1224

Sun, Aug 30 2020, 10:23 pm

So let me make sure I have this straight. You think this random woman is an idiot for believing that her child might be accepted or rejected by his piers based on the trendiness of his school supplies.

You think all this while you stand there, in fact judging her, based on one snippet of a conversation heard from an aisle over.

Just come on. Be better than this.

seeker

Sun, Aug 30 2020, 10:34 pm

amother [ cornflower ] wrote:

This.

amother

Sun, Aug 30 2020, 10:53 pm

groovy1224 wrote:

Not an idiot, but giving over the wrong message to her child.
What I found strange was 1)that she said it really loud for everyone to hear, I'd think one would be embarrassed to say this out loud, coming across as a "wannabe".
2) she couldve said "choose something cool", but she kept stressing "choose something everyone will think is cool" .

I also will buy some extras that my kids ask for, but I would never give over the message that I'm buying it in order to impress others .

Hashem_Yaazor

Sun, Aug 30 2020, 10:55 pm

This kid may be going through social difficulties and is advised to have something in school that will spark others' interest to have them include him in conversation that doesn't come naturally to him.

soap suds

Mon, Aug 31 2020, 12:19 am

Maybe the kid was being bullied for not being cool enough. Maybe the kid is just a kid and being cool Is very important to him, and Mom is being understanding and demonstrates it by “speaking his language” .

essie14

Mon, Aug 31 2020, 1:17 am

amother [ Magenta ] wrote:

I was that mom and I said it because we're aliens from another planet and I thought being cool would help my son blend in better in his human disguise.

3rd Rock From the Sun
LOL

amother

Denim

Mon, Aug 31 2020, 1:26 am

How many people hear ask what is the right knapsack for DD, the right shoes, coat....what extra and chair to send to camp.....
Make sure you have the right haircut, the right earrings,.....

Hey-how many mom's are looking for the "right" stroller or YT outfit for their infant?
Need I say more?

amother

Orange

Mon, Aug 31 2020, 4:56 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

A mother telling her 8/9 year old son "we found everything we need now go choose something cool, something that the other kids will think is cool" Confused

It was quite strange to hear this.
Why teach your child that self worth depends on having cool things??

Merely excluding cool things isn't enough, parents should look at the supplies list with a frugal eye, do you really need TWO pencils? And such thick notebooks, can't you write smaller?

Success10

Mon, Aug 31 2020, 5:04 am

I'm an admitted cheapskate, but I do try to spend a bit on "with it" school supplies and other unneeded chatchkes for my kids. Colored pens, an updated pencil case, white out tape (useless!!), stickers for labeling things, etc.... They need it.