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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
ExtraCredit
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 Wed, Sep 09 2020, 11:25 pm
| QueensMama wrote: | I'll try to explain, but I feel like we're talking two different languages.
I own several beautiful wigs. They are bouncy and glossy and the exact color my hair used to be. When I wear my wigs, I feel young and beautiful. I wear then indoors and outdoors because feeling young and beautiful is the way I like to feel. When I go to a beautiful resort, I enjoy being wined and dined. I enjoy seeing beautiful scenery. I enjoy plush beds and soft linens. I. Me. My body enjoys these luxuries. Does that make me a small person to enjoy such luxuries? Not related to my current point.
Now what would posess a person to buy a $20,000 watch in a world with numerous beautiful watches that don't cost the amount of $$ that could feed a family for a year? Does it tell time better? Does it feel different on the arm? is it the only way to get a beautiful timepiece? Does she look more beautiful in it?
It is a status symbol. It is a way to signal to the world that you've made it. It isn't for her, but for others. I have no other way to explain such a purchase. Perhaps you do. I'm willing to hear it.
(OP does not need to justify her purchase to me. It's her $$, her choice of how to spend it. But since she chose to let us know all about it, I feel free to let my opinion be known about it as well.) |
I totally get your mentality because I’m perfectly happy with my 10$ watch and even if I win the lottery today and literally don’t have where to put all the extra money after all tzedaka I gave, I still would never spend that type of $ on a watch. In fact, I never knew such a price tag on a watch exists. For heaven sakes it’s a watch, not a yacht.
That being said, I can still understand that for some people a $20K watch really lifts their spirits. That poster seemed to enjoy it as a symbol of bracha in her life after struggling for a couple of years. I don’t automatically assume that whoever buys such items just want to show off! It’s not a given at all.
Oh and yea, I’d do a grand vacation for $20K very easily when I win the lotto.
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Ruchel
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 5:03 am
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My spirit is more lifted doing something from the 20 000 dollars
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amother
Emerald
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 5:17 am
Sukkah
Dinette set - none of our parents paid for furniture
Vacation
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Ruchel
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 5:25 am
If you need to keep in a safe or to hide... JUST WHY
also: a/c installed in my room
toilet added in the bathroom
Pessach no friggin way, it's already 300/400 more than usual but not 1000 as a whole
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lilies
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 8:58 am
| QueensMama wrote: | I'll try to explain, but I feel like we're talking two different languages.
I own several beautiful wigs. They are bouncy and glossy and the exact color my hair used to be. When I wear my wigs, I feel young and beautiful. I wear then indoors and outdoors because feeling young and beautiful is the way I like to feel. When I go to a beautiful resort, I enjoy being wined and dined. I enjoy seeing beautiful scenery. I enjoy plush beds and soft linens. I. Me. My body enjoys these luxuries. Does that make me a small person to enjoy such luxuries? Not related to my current point.
Now what would posess a person to buy a $20,000 watch in a world with numerous beautiful watches that don't cost the amount of $$ that could feed a family for a year? Does it tell time better? Does it feel different on the arm? is it the only way to get a beautiful timepiece? Does she look more beautiful in it?
It is a status symbol. It is a way to signal to the world that you've made it. It isn't for her, but for others. I have no other way to explain such a purchase. Perhaps you do. I'm willing to hear it.
(OP does not need to justify her purchase to me. It's her $$, her choice of how to spend it. But since she chose to let us know all about it, I feel free to let my opinion be known about it as well.) |
Deleting my post. See hers.
Last edited by lilies on Thu, Sep 10 2020, 11:21 am; edited 1 time in total
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Ruchel
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 9:30 am
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The sme watch but much cheaper would give the same emotions if given in the same context
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amother
Chartreuse
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 10:25 am
Oh wow, I didn’t log on for a while I didn’t realIze this discussion was still going on!
First of all for those wondering my watch is platinum, So that’s why the cost is what it is. It is a brand name and only appreciates in value, if ch”v need be, we can always resell it for more than we paid.
Also, I did not say it’s staying in the safe- it’s staying on my hand at all times besides for when I need to go to the Mikveh at which time it will go into the safe.
For those wondering- yes we do give an ample amount of tzedakah bh bh, it brings my DH so much happiness.
What it means to me to have it on my wrist? I’m not gonna lie, of course I like the glitz of it, but it means so much more. It means I stuck by husbands side, without a complaint, without a kvetch. That I never blamed him for our lack of money. That we consciously made a decision to go through that nisayon with full belief that it’s from Hashem, only Hashem and that somehow it’s for our good. That He can pull us out of that place in any given moment. It’s a symbol to me that DH has so much love and appreciation for me in the way we handled it together. That all he wanted to do when we bh have money is buy me the biggest most sparkly thing he can find to show me how much I mean to him.
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SuperWify
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 10:31 am
| amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote: | Oh wow, I didn’t log on for a while I didn’t realIze this discussion was still going on!
First of all for those wondering my watch is platinum, So that’s why the cost is what it is. It is a brand name and only appreciates in value, if ch”v need be, we can always resell it for more than we paid.
Also, I did not say it’s staying in the safe- it’s staying on my hand at all times besides for when I need to go to the Mikveh at which time it will go into the safe.
For those wondering- yes we do give an ample amount of tzedakah bh bh, it brings my DH so much happiness.
What it means to me to have it on my wrist? I’m not gonna lie, of course I like the glitz of it, but it means so much more. It means I stuck by husbands side, without a complaint, without a kvetch. That I never blamed him for our lack of money. That we consciously made a decision to go through that nisayon with full belief that it’s from Hashem, only Hashem and that somehow it’s for our good. That He can pull us out of that place in any given moment. It’s a symbol to me that DH has so much love and appreciation for me in the way we handled it together. That all he wanted to do when we bh have money is buy me the biggest most sparkly thing he can find to show me how much I mean to him. |
Good for you! Enjoy it! May you be able to wear it with health and happiness and always be on the giving end.
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amother
Chartreuse
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 10:32 am
| SuperWify wrote: | | Good for you! Enjoy it! May you be able to wear it with health and happiness and always be on the giving end. |
Amen amen v’amen! Thank you 
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silverlining3
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 10:47 am
| amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote: | Oh wow, I didn’t log on for a while I didn’t realIze this discussion was still going on!
First of all for those wondering my watch is platinum, So that’s why the cost is what it is. It is a brand name and only appreciates in value, if ch”v need be, we can always resell it for more than we paid.
Also, I did not say it’s staying in the safe- it’s staying on my hand at all times besides for when I need to go to the Mikveh at which time it will go into the safe.
For those wondering- yes we do give an ample amount of tzedakah bh bh, it brings my DH so much happiness.
What it means to me to have it on my wrist? I’m not gonna lie, of course I like the glitz of it, but it means so much more. It means I stuck by husbands side, without a complaint, without a kvetch. That I never blamed him for our lack of money. That we consciously made a decision to go through that nisayon with full belief that it’s from Hashem, only Hashem and that somehow it’s for our good. That He can pull us out of that place in any given moment. It’s a symbol to me that DH has so much love and appreciation for me in the way we handled it together. That all he wanted to do when we bh have money is buy me the biggest most sparkly thing he can find to show me how much I mean to him. |
Wow! Very inspiring.
You are an amazing wife who has an amazing husband. May you 2 grow old together, happily.
Wear your watch in good health and enjoy the glitz of it, every day. You deserve it!!
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QueensMama
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 11:01 am
| amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote: | Oh wow, I didn’t log on for a while I didn’t realIze this discussion was still going on!
First of all for those wondering my watch is platinum, So that’s why the cost is what it is. It is a brand name and only appreciates in value, if ch”v need be, we can always resell it for more than we paid.
Also, I did not say it’s staying in the safe- it’s staying on my hand at all times besides for when I need to go to the Mikveh at which time it will go into the safe.
For those wondering- yes we do give an ample amount of tzedakah bh bh, it brings my DH so much happiness.
What it means to me to have it on my wrist? I’m not gonna lie, of course I like the glitz of it, but it means so much more. It means I stuck by husbands side, without a complaint, without a kvetch. That I never blamed him for our lack of money. That we consciously made a decision to go through that nisayon with full belief that it’s from Hashem, only Hashem and that somehow it’s for our good. That He can pull us out of that place in any given moment. It’s a symbol to me that DH has so much love and appreciation for me in the way we handled it together. That all he wanted to do when we bh have money is buy me the biggest most sparkly thing he can find to show me how much I mean to him. |
Beautiful. May you wear it in good health and may the love between you and your husband always be this strong.
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amother
Lime
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 11:14 am
Wow your story is beautiful (20k watch)!!
Could you share some tips how you were able to stay so strong without blaming him etc?
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amother
Seafoam
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 11:29 am
I’m really having a hard time understanding why so many posters find a $20,000 watch so absurd. Obviously, if one doesn’t have the money for it but spends that amount, it’s preposterous. But as a symbol of something meaningful, or because you just love watches, it’s beautiful.
We spend huge sums on engagement rings and bracelets. Would posters say that it’s absurd to get a large diamond because you’re just trying to prove that you’ve married money? The diamond ring etc., is not a necessity AT ALL but people are more forgiving in that case.
My DH bought me a very expensive watch (15k) after we’d been married a while and gone through a major life event together. Thank gd we could afford it and every time I look at my watch I remember that moment in time. I can’t wait to give my watch to my daughter, it is so meaningful to me to have something valuable to pass along.
Edited to make myself Anon
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amother
Lime
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 11:46 am
| amother [ Seafoam ] wrote: | | I’m really having a hard time understanding why so many posters find a $20,000 watch so absurd. |
Because they've never come across it in real life. The only reason I didn't blink is because I work in the diamond industry and so I'm used to it. Many people are unaware of the cost of fine watches/diamond jewellery - I mean when it's above 15-20k.
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amother
Scarlet
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 11:53 am
| Raw wrote: | I’m really having a hard time understanding why so many posters find a $20,000 watch so absurd. Obviously, if one doesn’t have the money for it but spends that amount, it’s preposterous. But as a symbol of something meaningful, or because you just love watches, it’s beautiful.
We spend huge sums on engagement rings and bracelets. Would posters say that it’s absurd to get a large diamond because you’re just trying to prove that you’ve married money? The diamond ring etc., is not a necessity AT ALL but people are more forgiving in that case.
My DH bought me a very expensive watch (15k) after we’d been married a while and gone through a major life event together. Thank gd we could afford it and every time I look at my watch I remember that moment in time. I can’t wait to give my watch to my daughter, it is so meaningful to me to have something valuable to pass along. |
Not everyone spends huge sums on jewelry. In my community, lots of people can surely afford expensive jewels but it would be considered immodest. So I think it's a matter of social norms.
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amother
cornflower
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 11:57 am
I think its a case of differing priorities. my diamond ring and bracelet combined didn't come close to that. I cant imagine spending that kind of money on jewelry. On the other hand my dh has a dream of buying a plane after he retires. Hes already gotten his pilot license which also costed a pretty penny. someone commented to us about it and they had just spent a significant amount of money taking their whole family to disneyworld. My dh would never spend that type of money on disney world. Once people have money to splurge they splurge different and don't necessarily understand each others splurges. That's ok, we are different people 
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amother
Black
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 12:08 pm
I am about to pick up my new $8,500 bracelet.
I wasn’t always able to afford luxuries and at that point spending so much money on stuff was so far fetched to me.
But once you go into an income bracket where you make enough money to buy such bracelets on a weekly Basis you look at things differently.
Thank you Hashem!
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lilies
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 12:36 pm
| amother [ cornflower ] wrote: | | I think its a case of differing priorities. my diamond ring and bracelet combined didn't come close to that. I cant imagine spending that kind of money on jewelry. On the other hand my dh has a dream of buying a plane after he retires. Hes already gotten his pilot license which also costed a pretty penny. someone commented to us about it and they had just spent a significant amount of money taking their whole family to disneyworld. My dh would never spend that type of money on disney world. Once people have money to splurge they splurge different and don't necessarily understand each others splurges. That's ok, we are different people |
In some cultures the options on where to splurge are pretty limited. No planes, no disney world, and many other no's where others may choose to spend a significant amount. That leaves the splurging to vacations, clothing, jewelry.
I think.
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amother
cornflower
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Thu, Sep 10 2020, 12:41 pm
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I understand disney being a no but I thimk there should be more leeway. judaic art. great. piano lessons great... theres a big world outside of clothing and jewelry that isn't "non jewish"
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