Brooklynites more rude than others?

amother

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 2:23 pm

Lately I’m hearing from people that Brooklynites are more rude, unfriendly than people from other areas. One person told me that they never hear someone in Brooklyn say good Shabbos to a stranger in the street like they do in other places.
I was surprised by these people saying they look down their noses on people from Brooklyn. Is this true?

tigerwife

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 2:26 pm

Brooklyn gets a bad rap. Just read through this site, Brooklyn gets lots of stink eye here, too.

The truth is that there are lots of unsavory people in Brooklyn, and most people perfect their non-confrontational poker face on public transit where you are likely to encounter said unsavory people. Perhaps it’s a bad habit, but it doesn’t stem from rudeness.

amother

Silver

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 2:29 pm

Sorry to say, yes. I grew up in a ‘good shabbos’ community but had family in BP so went there often. Let’s just say BP isn’t a good shabbos community

amother

Silver

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 2:33 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

I would consider it rude to speak to a stranger.

Spoken like a true New Yorker!!! (If which which I am too)

FYI: wishing someone good shabbos isn’t rude

bobeli

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 2:38 pm

Is more of a Nyc thing, they don’t think is rude, they are just in a constant hurry. No patience, no time, no nice.
About the good shabbos greetings, there are so many frum jews that most people just say it to someone they know.
Sometimes a stranger will greet but only the same gender.

amother

Pink

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 2:40 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

I would consider it rude to speak to a stranger.

I don't see a fellow Jew that I pass in the street as a stranger.

Stars

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 3:08 pm

I don’t see not greeting someone as rude. If I had to greet every passerby I’d be greeting 500 people a day. At least.

ExtraCredit

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 3:10 pm

Change the title to “Out of Towners are super friendly”.
This doesn’t make Brooklynites rude at all!

youngishbear

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 3:13 pm

Stars wrote:

I don’t see not greeting someone as rude. If I had to greet every passerby I’d be greeting 500 people a day. At least.

If I nodded my head in greeting to every Jewish person I passed, I'd be a bobblehead. And dizzy.

I think it might be the sheer number of people we see that makes us less than enthusiastic about greeting people we don't know.

Is there any place with a similarly dense frum population that does things differently? Do Israelis greet every passerby?

Last edited by youngishbear on Fri, Sep 11 2020, 3:14 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Aqua

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 3:13 pm

Although it's a beautiful thing to greet Good Shabbos to another person on Shabbos, in a place like Brooklyn it's not rude not to. As the poster above me pointed out, it's just not possible.
I don't live in Brooklyn anymore, and although I keep trying to improve my Middos on a constant basis, I think I was a pretty nice person back in Brooklyn as well. And I've left some pretty wonderful family and friends behind in Brooklyn who certainly cannot be called rude.
The mentality in Brooklyn might be different (not greeting, being more rushed) but that isn't rude. It's just that. Different.

ExtraCredit

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 3:23 pm

librarygirl wrote:

I think the problem is not responding if someone says good shabbos to you.

That’s rude in any location.

youngishbear

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 3:25 pm

librarygirl wrote:

I think the problem is not responding if someone says good shabbos to you.

If the cultural norm is not to greet someone you don't know, such a greeting can catch people off guard.

If a stranger greets me, I might respond with a greeting or a confused double-take, not sure if they meant me or someone behind me, or if they mistook me for someone else.

ExtraCredit

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 3:26 pm

youngishbear wrote:

This is a great dlkz lesson. I think all OOTers should read this thread before visiting NY.

Gut Shabbos to all of you! (whether oot, in Brooklyn, or anywhere else)

amother

Seafoam

Sat, Sep 12 2020, 11:43 am

It's not about saying good shabbos. It's about speaking respectfully, not pushing in lines, assuming that someone else's time is as valuable as your own.

I used to live in a community that was commuting distance to Brooklyn. Over time a few Brooklyn natives opened shops there. Every single one of them told me (unprompted) how polite the people were, and what a pleasure it was to do business in the community.

As someone who doesn't live in Brooklyn, I never expected anyone to say good shabbos. I did expect people to move out of the way for strollers and old people, to drive safely, and to treat customers and clients politely. I won't say it never happened, but it certainly wasn't the norm.

rzab

Sat, Sep 12 2020, 11:55 am

youngishbear wrote:

I grew up in five towns and now live in israel. In both places every one always says good shabbos. I can't imagine that either of those communities are less densely populated with frum jews which make it more possible.

ChanieMommy

Sat, Sep 12 2020, 12:02 pm

When I visited in Brooklyn, I had the impression that everybody was stressed out... they all seemed to be in a hurry, and they had a kind of desperate look on their face... no-one looked relaxed or serene or content...

banana123

Sat, Sep 12 2020, 2:33 pm

ExtraCredit wrote:

Change the title to “Out of Towners are super friendly”.
This doesn’t make Brooklynites rude at all!

That's certainly a different way of looking at it.

I guess you're a Brooklynite?

ora_43

Sat, Sep 12 2020, 2:48 pm

Israeli here, and I wouldn't say 'good Shabbas' to a stranger, either. Of course if they said it first, I'd say it back (if I realized they were talking to me, which I easily might not). But otherwise, it's just odd.

For OOT people - imagine going up to a random stranger in the street, not Jewish, and saying "hi!!!" with a big smile and wave. It's like that.

Except more so, since in big cities odd social behavior is less likely to mean "this person is just naturally super friendly to everyone" and more likely to mean "this person is high as a kite right now."

It's not that friendliness is bad. It's just that with so many frum people around, nobody expects it.