Cry it out - I feel like crying!

Learning

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 7:02 am

There is no “science” about sleep training. It’s all methods that come and go. We should only listen to chazal who say that a mother shouldn’t let her baby cry with no reason. Chazal didn’t say that she can teach the baby to sleep by crying.

Frumme

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 7:46 am

Learning wrote:

In your opinion, sleep training a baby isn't a reason to let a baby cry. To Chazal, this may not necessarily be the case. You've chosen to interpret it in that way.

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 7:49 am

Learning wrote:

We should only listen to chazal who say that a mother shouldn’t let her baby cry with no reason.

Who are you to posken that sleep training is not a valid reason?

kelly

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 8:03 am

Come on y'all!!take a chill pill and stop harassing a mom who's trying to sleep train her baby ,or YOU might all have to as HER machila before yom kippur!sleep training a child the right way is a very normal and acceptable thing to do. Just because some of you never did it and rather enjoy undisciplined babies who suck on their moms all night doesn't mean this mom is abusive. I mean seriously, are some people here so shallow minded as to think their way is the only right way????I know it's ok to let a child cry it out as long as you go in every few minutes to show the child you're there and didn't abandon him. For all of you who are against this please keep your abusive comments to yourself. I'm shocked.

amother

Red

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 8:18 am

Frumme wrote:

In your opinion, sleep training a baby isn't a reason to let a baby cry. To Chazal, this may not necessarily be the case. You've chosen to interpret it in that way.

Just because they give it a “ scientific” namename “sleep training” doesn’t make it not letting the baby cry.

keym

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:03 am

amother [ Red ] wrote:

Just because they give it a “ scientific” namename “sleep training” doesn’t make it not letting the baby cry.

What about giving a baby his shots? He will cry.
Or diapering or bathing him? He might cry
Or putting him down somewhere safe so Mom can use the bathroom? He might cry
We do and are "allowed" to do all those things.

Well many parents, specialists, and doctors do believe that teaching your baby to sleep is a legitimate skill
My babies never did well with "pick up put down" or rubbing.
They needed to find their own way to sleep, often by crying.
I would sit near them, folding laundry and talking to rhem/singing but leaving them alone. Sometimes they would cry.
But I knew they were fed, clean, safe. And I sat with them.

princessleah

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:18 am

If you read OP's post, she's not actually doing CIO-- she's ferberizing. It's been 40 minutes and she went in twice already!

It's so hard OP. Drink a lot of wine-- it eventually gets better. I remember that going in only made things worse with mine, because it got them all riled up again, but it depends on the kid's personality. Don't let him fall asleep eating, that's #1. And are you gradually removing night feedings or trying to go cold turkey?

Good luck!

Learning

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 9:39 am

keym wrote:

A vaccine is a health reason

Learning

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:33 am

keym wrote:

So is sleep. Both for Mommy and baby.

If you need sleep have less babies. You can’t avoid a pandemic.

amother

Violet

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:38 am

Learning wrote:

If you need sleep have less babies. You can’t avoid a pandemic.

oh my god this is the most bizarre thing I’ve read today. Who doesn’t need sleep? What if I realize I only need sleep after I already had baby #1? Scratching Head

amother

Seafoam

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:38 am

Learning wrote:

I'm just curious - where did chazal say that? Do you have a specific statement to that effect?

keym

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:38 am

Learning wrote:

If you need sleep have less babies. You can’t avoid a pandemic.

The baby needs sleep.
Not all babies are physically able to fall asleep without crying.

imorethanamother

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:45 am

I’m just hoping that this question becomes part of the Shidduchim process.

“Uh huh. So he comes from a wealthy family with direct lines to Dovid Hamelech, all the male family members are talmidai chachamim, the mother has adopted 10 additional children and also runs a soup kitchen out of her garage for anyone in the neighborhood.

But DID HE CRY IT OUT AS A BABY????”

I’m so excited about this.

On the plus side, finally a debate that’s not about covid!

causemommysaid

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:48 am

Some posters are really crazy! This thread is beyond.

The OP didn't dump her kid in a dark cold room and forget about her for 12 hours.

She put a well fed, well loved, tired baby in a cozy crib and checked on her a few times while teaching her to go to sleep.

I did modified Ferber method for all my kids and they all love me just fine and have no attachment issues and are awesome kids.

Please ignore the nutters.

dancingqueen

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:51 am

keym wrote:

The baby needs sleep.
Not all babies are physically able to fall asleep without crying.

Yes but there are gentler sleep training methods out there.

keym

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 10:55 am

dancingqueen wrote:

Yes but there are gentler sleep training methods out there.

True
Though not all work for all babies.
And OP did describe 2 days, less than 10 minutes of crying, and one day of 40 minutes with several check-ins.
That's not dumping for hours, ignoring.
Though personally, I sit on the floor next to the crib and sing or talk. Not abandoning, but letting them find their own sleep.