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Adult children at home...rent?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

OP

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 4:27 pm

gold21 wrote:

How old is your youngest child?

You work as a Morah in a school?

Would you consider opening your own playgroup?

I’m a Morah in a preschool and I really wouldn’t want to run my own playgroup. Plus I have no place to have it. My house is barely inhabitable. My youngest child is 6.

gold21

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 4:36 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’m a Morah in a preschool and I really wouldn’t want to run my own playgroup. Plus I have no place to have it. My house is barely inhabitable. My youngest child is 6.

OK. I know a couple women who were thrown into bad financial situations (do-nothing husbands, divorce....) and opened their own playgroups, and they do not entirely show the income on their taxes. So some of it is legally claimed but some is not shown. That's how they survive. And they do okay for themselves, although obviously they're not exactly rolling in money. But with gvmt programs, and making a significant percentage of their income in cash, they get by, and pay their bills. Barely, but with their heads held high and with dignity. ( If that bothers anyone, call the taxes police.... Lol) So just an idea.

You could make a lot more than $14/hr as a babysitter in your home.

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amother

OP

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 4:56 pm

gold21 wrote:

OK. I know a couple women who were thrown into bad financial situations (do-nothing husbands, divorce....) and opened their own playgroups, and they do not entirely show the income on their taxes. So some of it is legally claimed but some is not shown. That's how they survive. And they do okay for themselves, although obviously they're not exactly rolling in money. But with gvmt programs, and making a significant percentage of their income in cash, they get by, and pay their bills. Barely, but with their heads held high and with dignity. ( If that bothers anyone, call the taxes police.... Lol) So just an idea.

You could make a lot more than $14/hr as a babysitter in your home.

Maybe I can consider it once we move. I’m also mid schooling for other things. I had to put them aside to go back to work. So hopefully once my husband gets approved for ssdi I can finish my schooling and start working for what I am planning on.

1

MyKidsRQte

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 5:03 pm

Simple1 wrote:

I have kids 20+ living at home. It didn't occur to me to charge rent. But they pay for their own clothes, cars and other extras.

Same here

SuperWify

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 5:49 pm

Op, sorry for your situation. I wouldn’t charge dd a specific price like rent but if she’s offering to chip in let her give you her masser.

8

amother

Jetblack

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 7:00 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I work as a Morah. I was a stay at home mom for 15 years before that so I took what I could when I knew my husband would need to quit his job.
I used to be licensed in something medical but I let my license lapse and now I need to take classes to reinstate the license and it’s difficult as there aren’t any places near by and they classes that are within a couple hours driving distance always seem fall on either Pesach or Rosh Hoshanah/Yom Kippur.

stop right here....
MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!
speak to a supervisor about an alternate class date for religious reasons. or better yet, take the clasees now when they are almost certainly remote. network with other people you know in this field. I dont understand how you would rather live in miserable conditions and have your daughter support you when you have the opportunity to support yourself with some paperwork, a few phonecalls, a few classes, and a test or two?
also, you mentioned you started school for something(s) else. how is that a faster, cheaper, or easier solution to getting recertified for the job you are already qualified for?

5

amother

OP

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 10:43 pm

amother [ Jetblack ] wrote:

stop right here....
MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!
speak to a supervisor about an alternate class date for religious reasons. or better yet, take the clasees now when they are almost certainly remote. network with other people you know in this field. I dont understand how you would rather live in miserable conditions and have your daughter support you when you have the opportunity to support yourself with some paperwork, a few phonecalls, a few classes, and a test or two?
also, you mentioned you started school for something(s) else. how is that a faster, cheaper, or easier solution to getting recertified for the job you are already qualified for?

There are no alternative classes. These are very specific classes. They run for 4/5 weeks twice a year. And I would need to do clinical hours so those would not be remote. And my child will NOT be supporting us. How dare you suggest that!?
The classes that I already started are paid in full. I just need to finish clinical hours for one part and the whole class for the other.
Getting recertified for my old license will cost thousands of dollars and we don’t have it right now.
So don’t assume I would rather live in miserable conditions when you really don’t know what you’re talking about.

1

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 10:45 pm

A lot of clinical internships are being done remotely now. I know my workplace is having virtual interns now. I'd look into it, if I were you. Doesn't hurt to check.

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amother

OP

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 11:27 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

A lot of clinical internships are being done remotely now. I know my workplace is having virtual interns now. I'd look into it, if I were you. Doesn't hurt to check.

How are they learning? I mean what are they doing exactly? It’s hard to be hands on virtually.

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 11:33 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

How are they learning? I mean what are they doing exactly? It’s hard to be hands on virtually.

Obviously it's not the same as in person. But that's the way things are going this year. A lot of things are being accepted that in normal times would not. They participate in a lot of virtual meetings, work with clients remotely.
You may not want to identify your area of certification. But could be, there are people here who are knowledgeable about it and can give you guidance.

2

amother

OP

Mon, Nov 30 2020, 11:36 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

Obviously it's not the same as in person. But that's the way things are going this year. A lot of things are being accepted that in normal times would not. They participate in a lot of virtual meetings, work with clients remotely.
You may not want to identify your area of certification. But could be, there are people here who are knowledgeable about it and can give you guidance.

Thanks for the information. I’m afraid people will figure out who I am if I give too much info about my life. lol

amother

Navy

Tue, Dec 01 2020, 12:08 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Of course this child is part of the family. My husband and I are also...we pay bills. It's more of the fact that my husband has become disabled...we are living on my pittance of a salary until his disability comes in and then it will be a step above a pittance. This child (22 yrs old) wants to contribute once their pay is stable. I guess I am looking more for info on what would be reasonable for this child to contribute.

I'm going to add some more information so that I can give a better picture of our life and the only reason why this has come up. We are poor. VERY poor. We have food stamps so I don't need this child to contribute to food. Right now we live in a busted old apt with a leaking roof, mold in the ceiling, a terrible heating system, undrinkable water, our youngest kids no longer have a bedroom because in that hurricane that came through a few months ago our roof ripped off and destroyed their bedroom. They now have beds in the living room. If we could afford to not take money from this child we would never consider it. But at this point we need more income. My husband used to make decent money, and we lived well. He then got sick and our lives fell apart. We are trying very hard to pull our lives back together but in the meantime...we just don't have enough. I make $14/hr and we are a family of 6. We are struggling...so...what seems reasonable to allow her to contribute? I also intend to make her open a savings account so she can get ahead and have money put away for a rainy day that we didn't have.

Hugs. Under normal circumstances I think it’s unusual to ask a child to pay rent but it sounds like you really need the money. But after reading the whole thread I do think the best idea is to get just maaser from her and let her save for her future. Focus on reinstating your liscence or finishing up your new training and take out some loans.

1

amother

OP

Tue, Dec 01 2020, 12:17 pm

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

Hugs. Under normal circumstances I think it’s unusual to ask a child to pay rent but it sounds like you really need the money. But after reading the whole thread I do think the best idea is to get just maaser from her and let her save for her future. Focus on reinstating your liscence or finishing up your new training and take out some loans.

Just to reiterate...we are not asking her to pay rent...this is something she offered to do. I am looking for the ideal amount so that she feels like she is being responsible and also to help with expenses.

Also, no one would ever give us a loan at this point. We have no collateral and I make almost enough to cover our bills.

notshanarishona

Tue, Dec 01 2020, 12:24 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Just to reiterate...we are not asking her to pay rent...this is something she offered to do. I am looking for the ideal amount so that she feels like she is being responsible and also to help with expenses.

Also, no one would ever give us a loan at this point. We have no collateral and I make almost enough to cover our bills.

I would go with a percentage of her income, maybe 10-20%. In your situation it is so
Important for her to save up money to get married for herself.

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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