Encourage reading in a 4 yr old or steer to other activities

chocolatecake

Wed, Dec 02 2020, 1:51 pm

My six year old is having a hard time with reading. To help her out I bought some reading apps for the tablets, I play site words matching with her and when I read stories to her I have her read words that I know she knows.

My 4 year old is loving all these things. She is learning a lot of site words from the matching, the reading game is helping her to decode certain words and when I read her stories she also wants to point out words she knows such as was or is.

I know everyone says not to teach a kid to read early or they will be bored in school. I am by no means actively teaching her but she is definitely being exposed to reading and site words more than your average 4 year because I am working hard with her older sister.

What do the imamother experts say? Is this exposure okay or should I try to limit it somehow?

Last edited by chocolatecake on Thu, Dec 03 2020, 10:17 am; edited 1 time in total

#Happymom

Wed, Dec 02 2020, 2:01 pm

Ah, I get you. I was also told never to teach a child to read ahead of school, as they'll be bored.
But I think that in your case, you aren't teaching her, she's just being exposed to the letters and sounds bec of your older daughter. So it's all right, I wouldn't teach her extra or discourage her from learning just enjoy!!

OOTforlife

Wed, Dec 02 2020, 2:03 pm

I don't see any problem with early reading, as long as it is not being forced.

In general, a child who does not know how to decode should not form a habit of visually memorizing words or guessing them based on context or pictures. But it sounds like she is decoding, so that doesn't seem like such a big risk here.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Dec 02 2020, 2:04 pm

#Happymom wrote:

How long ago was this advice given, and how old was the person who gave you this advice?

It sounds like something a lazy teacher would say, who doesn't want to deal with bright children.

amother

Magenta

Wed, Dec 02 2020, 2:42 pm

I hear the concern... my 7 year old DS taught himself how to read, and was reading himself books in bed fluently when he was 5. He’s very bored in school now.

Last week he brought home practise words for a spelling test and was laughing. Words like ball, wall, cat, mat. He told me, ma you know what would be a good word for a spelling test? Hippopotamus!

amother

Burlywood

Wed, Dec 02 2020, 3:16 pm

"Everyone" says not to teach children to read? Who is this "everyone"?

I can't believe anyone would try to hold a child back from learning. If your dc is showing interest, consider it a gift from G-d and encourage it.

I probably learned to read by asking every adult around "What does this say? What does that say?" Whatever it was, it was self-motivated and I was reading well before starting school. It didn't do me any harm. The first week of school I'd read all the stories in the reader--this was true right through high school-- so reading lessons were in fact boring. Not only had I already read the story, but it was so hard listening to other kids reading badly. Guess what? Arithmetic lessons were also boring, this time because I lagged behind the others. But I endured, and possibly learned an object lesson about tolerating other people's weaknesses. Being able to read early may or may not have enhanced my performance in other subjects, but it certainly did no harm.

amother

Cyan

Wed, Dec 02 2020, 3:18 pm

amother [ Magenta ] wrote:

It is the teacher's responsibility to supply work for the advanced student. There will always be students at either ends of the curve, and part of the teacher's job is to cater to each group's need. A qualified teacher will know how to handle this and will do so gracefully.
Discouraging a child to learn, to grow... Oh please no!

amother

Smokey

Wed, Dec 02 2020, 3:21 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

How long ago was this advice given, and how old was the person who gave you this advice?

It sounds like something a lazy teacher would say, who doesn't want to deal with bright children.

Not at all. I have a relative who was taught to read by her older brother when she was 4, and it caused her a lot of boredom in school. She skipped a grade, and it wasn't so great for her socially.

Then again, if a child is showing interest, that's different. My uncle taught himself to read when he was 4. So did my friend. If they ask you, "What does this mean?", don't hold them back.

amother

Oak

Wed, Dec 02 2020, 3:26 pm

chocolatecake wrote:

Encourage or Discourage 4 year old from reading?

As a matter of principle: encourage.

I also learned to read before school because I saw exercises my bigger brother did, but I was not really aware of it. I knew to read a fairy tale book, but I didn't feel bored when I learned it "officially" in school, and if my mother had not told me I knew to read at age 5, I would not have remembered it.

However, there is a caveat, and I don't know how to solve this problem: the fact that your 4 yo learns easily could discourage the 6yo.

My brother felt this way (not about reading, but about learning stuff by heart) and I have seen it played out in other families - this can be daunting for the older sibling.

mum22

Wed, Dec 02 2020, 3:29 pm

There is nothing wrong with your child learning to read.
Sight, or decoding.
In school she will learn the phonemes. This is in order to learn writing and spelling.
She will not be bored as the class will be doing activities, learning to write words/captions/ sentences and proper letter formation.

chocolatecake

Wed, Dec 02 2020, 3:39 pm

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

I am actually very worried about that. My six year old is beautiful talented girl bh but academics is clearly not her strong point where academics clearly is a strength for my 4 year old. When they play games together such as memory it is usually my 4 year old that wins and my six year old is less than pleased. It looks like I have some years with lots of competition ahead!

Teomima

Wed, Dec 02 2020, 4:47 pm

I can not imagine ever discouraging a child from reading. You don't need to push it at an early age, but if they express interest, of course they should be allowed, encouraged even, to read!

Just out of curiosity, these "everyone" who say not to teach a child to read early, does it apply only to girls? Would those same people think a boy reading young is also not ideal?

TwinsMommy

Wed, Dec 02 2020, 5:02 pm

one of my twins was severely hyperlexic and was reading at two and a half. The other twin was reading at three. Neither twin was bored in preschool as there is SO MUCH to learn--- sharing, taking turns, socialization, rhyming and singing, gross motor, fine motor--- etc etc. A kid can be ahead in all academics and still be challenged in preschool. I started reading at three and I remember challenging aspects of kindergarten even though reading wasn't something I was still learning at that point--- there is so much more than academics.

Now my twins are almost 14 and one is in a good school that knows how to challenge her. The other is in a school that presents total cookie cutter academics and isn't able to individualize curriculum at all and there's a huge difference. Obviously I want my son moved back to the other school but that isn't possible at this time due to severe behavior issues that the therapeutic school can handle.

Encourage a kid where they ARE and let school figure out how to work with them --- a good school CAN and WILL.