Class Chanukah gifts to teachers
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Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 8:50 pm
I'm a middle school teacher, so around 100 kids a day. I opened my envelope tonight and it was extremely generous. They asked for $30 per kid (to split among all the teachers), and we get a list with the names of everyone in the school who gave. No, I don't sit there and check off my class list who gave and who didn't. Nor do I expect a gift from everyone. In some ways this might take the pressure off a parent, because if every parent was sending their own, it would be more noticeable if you were the 1 kid who doesn't have something to put on the teacher's desk in the morning.
Even if they had done $20 per kid, it would have been a respectable amount, but in the lower grades where the teachers don't teach as many students, it would have added up to a lot less. (Think about it. Elementary = 2 teachers, 2 assistants, middle/high=10ish teachers, but we teach more than double the students of the elementary teacher.

Basically, your teacher appreciates the fact that you remembered her and appreciate her hard work. Whether you gave money to the class gift, or sent a box of chocolate, or even just a fancy donut, just showing us you remember everything we do for your child makes our day. (Even a nice note works if you're in a pinch, and teachers tend to know which families are struggling anyway)
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Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 9:08 pm
I've organized Chanukah collections for my kids playgroups and nurseries. I always state a suggested contribution amount with the caveat of "if that's too high for you, message me and let me know". I always have some moms give less than the suggested amount. You contribute what you can. Totally no biggie.
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Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 9:49 pm
amother [ Black ] wrote:
And they get more respect and social benefits than anyone else! PTAs often give lunch to teachers or other extras. (Coffee and cookies on Rosh Chodesh etc). They are priority on community help like chessed girls, community programs, camp scholarships, food assistance (stores give them discount cards, a friend in NY can get Pesach stuff super cheap or the free Tom tov box), discounts to things-- "chinuch families" get tons of benefits. Besides days off before Pesach "to help our Morahs" . The fact that we are even having this discussion shows an underlying respect that other service providers dont get!

Most people get their paycheck and dont get anything else. And definitely dont complain that their GIFT is not respectful, not large enough or is "mortifying". What is mortifying is not having the money for tuition. For asking for scholarship. And opening your bank account statements to random or anonymous people on tuition or other committees just to make ends meet. And then being asked for more money and gifts. And not having it but still being asked many times. Hiding

Why isnt a thank you note enough? I appreciate the teachers and say thank you any time I could. So why does gratitude equal $$$$$$?

Why can't I just sit quietly in my own corner and shut my mouth? Why do I have to get involved in this conversation instead of doing the millions of other things I need to do? Make me stop, please
Banging head Banging head Banging head

1. Lunch to teachers, coffee and cookies on Rosh Chodesh-girl, what on God's green earth are you talking about? None of the schools I work at do this nor does my kids schools AFAIK.

2. Chesed girls, community programs, camp scholarships, food assistance- You're right that families in chinuch get these things but that means the FATHER has to be in chinuch. Morahs get absolutely none of this unless their husband is also a rebbe, mine works in an office so diddly squat here and for lots of other morahs. Being a morah has absolutely no influence on a family getting any type of these kinds of monetary assistance. Being a morah is for some reason a less respected job than being a rebbe but that's a different fun topic for a different time.

3. Days off before Pesach to help our Morahs- While we're at it, let's also factor in all the overtime Morahs do right before Pesach (and every single holiday aka busy time of year) with spending hours after school organizing pictures for projects or running to the store for Haggaddah supplies or other projects, then another run to the dollar store or grocery store for a special treat or prizes to give out.

Still want to compare jobs? Do you get a lunch break? I don't. After making sure everyone's eating, finding something suitable for the pickier eaters, making sure everyone has a drink, then running around to give out seconds or thirds, wiping chins etc, I might attempt to sit down for five minutes to eat the melba toast I threw into my bag that morning which seems to send out this signal to come over to morah and tell her about how annoying your brother is or how pretty your dress is going to be for your aunt's chasunah. I can remind them to return to their seat but I don't because I love them and love that they want to share their stories with me. So I'm not complaining but you seem to want to compare a teachers job to one that gets less respect which compels me to point out why there is no comparison.

And guess what? Teachers are mothers too which means......drum roll, please......yep, we give out tips to our kids morahs too! So that envelope I got today from the class mothers? I still shell out more than that to cover the basic tip my kids school asks for and I don't complain about it. Because the class picture and poem that came with my tip brought tears to my eyes and made my kids really proud that I'm their mother.
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Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 11:34 pm
gold21 wrote:
I've organized Chanukah collections for my kids playgroups and nurseries. I always state a suggested contribution amount with the caveat of "if that's too high for you, message me and let me know". I always have some moms give less than the suggested amount. You contribute what you can. Totally no biggie.

No mother wants to message youth the amount is too high. Its not a comfortable text to have to send.
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Post Thu, Dec 10 2020, 11:47 pm
amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:
No mother wants to message youth the amount is too high. Its not a comfortable text to have to send.

Right. The safest is to say the suggested amount and let them know they can send any amount they wish to.
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Post Fri, Dec 11 2020, 12:25 am
Our school gives a decent amount per kid. $20 for 4 teachers in the class so it’s $5 a teacher. That’s not too expensive.

I’m usually class mother every year. They send home a note from the school with the amount.... most send in right away. Otherwise I call ONCE to give a reminder ( some people do tent to forget). I write from the class- never names who gave.. that’s so silly!
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Post Sat, Dec 12 2020, 7:08 pm
amother [ Babypink ] wrote:
Lol! I’m the culprit who said my mother got a 50 dollar gift. I didn’t mean to run this thread off on a tangent! But I see there are some who agree with me.
I was sure there’s gonna be different opinions on this. 2 Jews, 3 opinions! Fact is, my mother was mortified. Like others said, she’d rather get a cookbook worth 35 dollars than 50 cash.
This is NOT about the money. Bh she does not need that 50 dollar tip to make shabbos. But for teacher appreciation, to give a measly 50 bucks is making fun of the concept of giving a gift to show appreciation.

Take it or leave it!

So buy a cookbook with the $50, and a bonus gift with the change. At least you got the cookbook of your choice and not one you already have.
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