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Do kids respect their parents less if they see them nap?
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 3:01 am
If a parent is going to nap (or sleep during the day because they work night shift, etc), should they be makpid to only sleep in their room with the door closed and kids forbidden to enter?

Or do you think it's okay for a parent to take a nap/sleep on the couch in the living room when kids are home? Or would that be likely to make the kids respect the parent less?

All opinions welcome, especially if you saw your own parents sleeping, how did that influence how you thought of them?
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amother




Seagreen
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 3:13 am
Sleeping amd needing sleep is not a crime or weakness!
Sleeping enough amd valuing sleep can be a great examples for your kids.

As far as sleeping on the couch. I have never seen my parents do such a thing. Maybe bec we are British. But it just isn’t appropriate to snore on the couch in the centre of the house. Go to bed if you need to sleep
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Sprinkles1




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 3:25 am
Theres a difference between a 3-4 hour deep sleep and a 10 minute catnap. I take short naps on the couch all the time when my kids are around. Never thought there was anything wrong. They know to try to play quietly then.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 3:26 am
amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:
Sleeping amd needing sleep is not a crime or weakness!
Sleeping enough amd valuing sleep can be a great examples for your kids.

As far as sleeping on the couch. I have never seen my parents do such a thing. Maybe bec we are British. But it just isn’t appropriate to snore on the couch in the centre of the house. Go to bed if you need to sleep


The question isn't if it's okay to get enough sleep, it's specifically the kids SEEING you sleep (assume you are dressed perfectly tznius so that is not an issue)
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DVOM




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 3:45 am
Goodness. I sure hope not.

They also see me needing to use the bathroom, needing to eat....

I guess by now they know I'm human 🥺
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 3:56 am
Why should seeing a parent nap make a child respect them less? Why does there have to be any connection to those things?
Ive seen my parents nap, on the couch. And it was not after a night shift. They were plainly tired. Nothing wrong. I know my parents worked hard their entire life. Whats wrong with a nap?
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moonstone




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:05 am
I have never heard anyone suggest that it's bad for kids to see their parents sleeping, even on the couch. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Where did you get such an idea?
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:06 am
DVOM wrote:
Goodness. I sure hope not.

They also see me needing to use the bathroom, needing to eat....

I guess by now they know I'm human 🥺


They see you going into the bathroom, bit don't actually see you use it...
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rainbow dash




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:31 am
Hope not. I nap everyday for 2 hrs. Usually in my bed. Hope I haven't scared them for life.
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baby12x




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:44 am
Nothing wrong with seeing a parent nap.

One thing I hate (my father did this and I see other parents do this) is napping on the couch and expecting quiet or not to be disturbed. If you want quiet go to a closed room.
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Elfrida




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:52 am
I saw my father doze off at the Shabbos table almost every week. My mother would often fall asleep on the couch in the evening.

Having a nap was not part of the family lifestyle, but everyone needs to sleep. Patents are human, and should be respected with all their human needs and failings, not as some kind of supernatural beings.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:56 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The question isn't if it's okay to get enough sleep, it's specifically the kids SEEING you sleep (assume you are dressed perfectly tznius so that is not an issue)
OP, what in your opinion, is not good, about a child SEEING their parents napping. I dont understand why napping and respecting parents is connected, in your mind.
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imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 4:57 am
OP is askinng as if she herself does not have parents. OP did you respect your parents less when they napped? Have they napped?

The idea is just bizarre.
I don't think it is necessary to nap in the living room on the couch if you can help it, but napping in general should not influence respect.
There is also halacha to protect other people's sleep and there are stories of righteous people, who would not disturb their parents' sleep and got reward for that.
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chanatron1000




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 5:03 am
I personally don't think it's a problem for kids to see their parents nap, but I don't think it's bizarre to have a problem with it. People can look undignified in their sleep, and it makes sense not to want kids to hear you sleep talking or see you act out a dream.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 5:38 am
shabbatiscoming wrote:
OP, what in your opinion, is not good, about a child SEEING their parents napping. I dont understand why napping and respecting parents is connected, in your mind.


I never said it wasn't ok, I was just asking other people what they thought
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 5:43 am
I mean if they are napping all day and don't have a job than totally.
If said person is productive, and busy and just needs more rest than no. Why would it?
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 5:45 am
Elfrida wrote:
I saw my father doze off at the Shabbos table almost every week. My mother would often fall asleep on the couch in the evening.

Having a nap was not part of the family lifestyle, but everyone needs to sleep. Patents are human, and should be respected with all their human needs and failings, not as some kind of supernatural beings.

Seriously.
My kids see us nap, I don't believe it's connected to respecting us at all.
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Teomima




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 5:46 am
I have no idea why you feel there's any correlation between a parent napping and their child's respect.
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 5:49 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I never said it wasn't ok, I was just asking other people what they thought

Where did you even get such an idea? What would make you associate shame and napping?

I can see it causing disrespect if the parent is napping because he's having a hangover of if he just lazes around all day doing nothing.

But a healthy productive person who needs a rest? Why would that cause disrespect?
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Teomima




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Dec 30 2020, 5:49 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
They see you going into the bathroom, bit don't actually see you use it...

Speak for yourself. I've spent years unable to go to the bathroom alone while I've had little children, and even with my not-so-little daughters there have been times we've had to share the stall in public bathrooms.
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