Working full time. How do you manage???

amother

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 9:55 am

For those of you who work 6 to 9 hours 4 days a week, have children under the age 14 how do you manage the following? (Considering going out to work but I see so many imposibilities to it all)

1. Appointments for your kids (dentists, physicals and others)

2. Weekly appointments for yourself (I.e. any type of therapy)

3. Shopping for yourself and kids (clothing, toys, homegoods..)

4. When do you do weekly grocery order?

5. What do you do if kid is sick?

6. What do you do midwinter, Chanukah vacation with kids.

7. Between school and camp times

I'm not even going to ask when you do laundry and suppers. I assume after work. And housework I assume you have hired help.

amother

Brown

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 10:02 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

1- schedule them either on a day that I don’t work (Friday), or at an hour that’s either the very beginning or very end of work
2-same as 1. If it’s zoom, it’s the best because I’ll leave work and do my session in my car.
3-make a list every motzash and get everything on Sunday. Or Amazon and Instacart.
4- same as 3
5- take off. My boss is a human with feelings.
6- lol what’s midwinter? They go to a babysitter.
7- explain...?

amother

Rose

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 10:05 am

I'm fortunate that I work in a school so my schedule and my kids schedule somwhay syncs. I'm also fortunate that my husband is able to work from home 2 days a week. Of course on the days he doesn't work from home, he walks in around 9, but it does help with flexibility.

1- on days there's no school so we're home anyway. Worst case, my husband takes during his lunch break on the work from home day.

2- had to give up on it. At one point I ended a period early one day a week and had an hour to myself then, but no longer.

3- the internet! Seriously all online shopping. Might do a quick stop on my way home the day my husband's working from home in case the kids get home before me.

4- Sunday morning. Kids in tow. Quick refill with the kids on the way home from playgroup Thursday afternoon.

5-if my husband's able to, he works from home that day. Otherwise I stay home. Pre-pandemic grandparents pitched in too.

6&7- bH I'm off then. Only hard thing is legal holidays when I have school but daycares off-site but my husband is off then.

Cooking- cook in bulk and freeze to defrost as needed.
Laundry- I do it when I find a minute, husband folds try during phone meetings on his work from home days.
Other housework: we clean up together Friday afternoon

amother

Powderblue

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 10:07 am

It depends on what work you're doing (or your employer) for a lot of these. How many days off do you have, are they paid, are hours flexible, can you work remotely. My normal weekly work plus commute time is a bit over 50 hours, but I have some flexibility to take a break or start late if I have an appointment. Or, you might need to hire a babysitter in the evening.
I don't hire any help for housework, but I do prioritize and have low expectations.
I do most shopping online. If I need to go to stores, I try to take a day (or half a day) off and get as much done in that time as possible.
Depending where you live, and kids ages, there may be "camp after camp" type of programs, and or something similar during other vacations

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 10:09 am

I only have one daughter, but work 40-50 hours weekly.

1.Appointments for your kids (dentists, physicals and others) - my husband does most, otherwise right after work, or take off if I feel it's important enough for me to be there.

2. Weekly appointments for yourself (I.e. any type of therapy) - I leave work an hour early once a week.

3. Shopping for yourself and kids (clothing, toys, homegoods..) - legal holidays or Amazon.

4. When do you do weekly grocery order? - my husband has been doing it since covid started, prior to that, I did on Sunday.

5. What do you do if kid is sick? My husband has more flexibility then me. (He's in kollel, and works before, after and during bein hasedarim).

6. What do you do midwinter, Chanukah vacation with kids. I take off one day (prior to covid I brought my daughter to work one day), she stays with my husband the other day(s).

7. Between school and camp times
She goes to my mom

Laundry- Sundays, or max one load per night, folding each family member does their own.
No hired household help.

amother

Jetblack

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 10:10 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Work 5 days a week 8-4 (plus commute either way)
1)try to cluster them (multiple kids on one day) but my husband does dental appts and I do medical. We take off
2) I’ve been doing teletherapy from my bathroom for years and years. Stick the kids in front of the screen one evening before dinner and 45 minutes later I come out like new!
3)I don’t buy much clothing for myself but everything we buy (kids goes, clothes etc) is bought online. Other stuff with an occasional target run on a Sunday
4)grocery shop on Sunday for the week
5)sick kid means one of us has to take off
6)I do have a lot of vacation time 22 days a year) so I can usually take off those days. My parents can supplement BH if need be
7)same
We do laundry on Saturday night. I cook for the Most part on Sunday. We do not have cleaning help. Husband does the cleaning.

You’ll figure it out. It’ll take some time but you’ll develop a system that works for you

amother

Scarlet

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 10:11 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Dentists - Sunday (I need to book 6 months in advance to get such a slot)

Physicals - first am appointment and I let work know I will be 1 hour late

Weekly appointments - after work and make playedates (that means I have playdates at my house once a week too after work/school)

Clothes shopping - online (I am busy with lots of trying on and returns when I get home. I drop off the returns at the UPS store once a week). I supplement at local stores on Sunday when I am not successful online. I usually know what I am looking for and go in and out.

Weekly grocery I email to the supermarket the night before.

If my kid is sick I take them right away to urgent care and if they need antibiotics make sure they get 2 doses before school starts next morning. If they are not well enough to go to school I take a sick day or dh takes a sick day.

Midwinter, chanukah vacations I switch off with other moms. I take off a day and take the kids out and she takes off and takes the kids out the second day.

Between school and camp I usually have to wing it. One day I take off. One day dh takes off. One day I find someone to be with them

Between camp and school there is usually fun school and I pay high prices so the kids are having fun and are taken care of.

Housework I have help once a week. I open the door for her in the morning and leave to work.

Dinner I prepare for the freezer and pull out in the morning to bake.

Laundry I do a load every night. Cleaning help folds once a week.

thunderstorm

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 10:17 am

1. Appointments for your kids (dentists, physicals and others)
Walk in hours before work starts for sick visits. Well visits are scheduled after work hours and dental I schedule on weekends.
2. Weekly appointments for yourself (I.e. any type of therapy)
I did therapy on Fridays , straight from work. After Corona it was telehealth and I did it around 5:30 pm once a week. I quickly put up supper and DH came home then to serve everyone and supervise the kids until I was available
3. Shopping for yourself and kids (clothing, toys,
I shop mostly online. On occasion we shop on Motzei Shabbos when Shabbos ends early or Sunday

4. When do you do weekly grocery order?
Once a week on Wednesday’s. I used to do a phone /email order. Now I actually go into the store , straight from work

5. What do you do if kid is sick?
I stay home and work remotely or DH does. If it’s a few days , we take turns .

6. What do you do midwinter, Chanukah vacation with kids.
I work my days off around those times or send my younger ones to a babysitter and older kids occupy themselves at home.

7. Between school and camp times
Same as midwinter and other vacation days

I'm not even going to ask when you do laundry and suppers. I assume after work. And housework I assume you have hired help.
Laundry is done Sunday’s and Wednesday’s . I like to prepare at least three suppers for the week on Sunday .
I do not have a cleaning lady .
I work 7 hours a day At an office plus 2 hours at home daily for a different job (including Sunday’s)

Last edited by thunderstorm on Sun, Jan 03 2021, 10:22 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Slategray

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 10:36 am

I work 50-60 hours most weeks, sometimes more. DH works 40-50 hours. We both have some flexibility to work remotely or at odd hours if needed.

1. Appointments for your kids (dentists, physicals and others). DH usually does these. We combine them whenever possible.

2. Weekly appointments for yourself (I.e. any type of therapy). I don't have any, except when pregnant. During pregnancy, I just go to my appointments and finish my work at night or early in the morning.

3. Shopping for yourself and kids (clothing, toys, homegoods..). DH does groceries. Before the pandemic he went 2-3 times a week. Now he does one curbside grocery pickup per week. Everything else we buy online.

4. When do you do weekly grocery order? Dh does on Sunday for pickup on Tuesday.

5. What do you do if kid is sick? DH usually stays home and works remotely. If he can't, then I do. My MIL has done a few of these in the past but not in a long time.

6. What do you do midwinter, Chanukah vacation with kids. Before pandemic, either grandparents or babysitting. Now DH and I both work remotely and divide the responsibilities. He does most.

7. Between school and camp times. Same as 6.

8. laundry and suppers. DH does laundry on Sundays. He makes suppers, except for takeout on Thursday nights.

9. housework. We used to have a weekly cleaning service. Since COVID, DH and I do it ourselves. We aren't as good, but we're passable.

amother

Oak

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 11:19 am

we pay extra for a ediatrician and dentist that are open long hours, otherwise no chance. all appointments are made in the evening hours.

we do shoopping once a week, with a list max 2 stores, takes max 1 hour and everything gets delivered. I started buying online clothes etc during lockdown and will stick to this, its magical as in saving time

I do all householdchores when kids are in bed LATE after 9.30 or 10 pm. so yes im sleep depreived but the house is neat there is prcooked simple food in the fridge and ere is enough coean clothes.

I do take household help for about 2 hours a week and before pessach 4 hours a week. she helps me do the hard stuff, together its quicker and worth every penny.

im sure there is no magic behind managing everything and I DONT manage everything. for example one of my kids will probbaly need a theraphy hour every week. the centerr is quite far and tehre is no way dh or I can manage to bring him and pick him up on weekly basis. we must hire a bochur to accompany him. I will go once a month and dh will go once a month to stay in touch with the therapist which I find important. so instead of paying 70 euro per session, I will have to apy an additional 15 euro for the bochur.

when a child is sick I need to take off which is tough but thats life. some thigs I can work ´from home. b´´H my boss is ok with that, it so depends on the work environment , type of job and boss.

it IS stressfull sometimes BUT it is also very rewarding, important and if you organise it well you can get used to it

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 11:31 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Until recently it was a struggle. Now dh and I work remotely. Dh can take his computer and work while my kids get their teeth cleaned. I can't.

I used to make appointments either first thing in the morning, some places start before 8, during lunch or after 4.

I dont go to therapy.

I shop online as much as possible.

Grocery shop Sundays and Wednesday evenings.

Dh and I take turns working from home if my youngest is sick. The other kids are teens and can be dropped off at home after an early morning dr visit.

Midwinter - dh and I took turn taking off from work. Or dh would work from home and I would take 1 day off to do something fun.

Between school and camp was challenging. In the past I paid alot of money to send my youngest to in-between day camp. This past summer she was home those days and played outside with friends. We used to go away for a week on a family trip.

I work M-F. 8:30-4/12. I have zero help (family doesn't help much). I start dinner after work. Wash laundry after shabbos & Sunday. I wish also midweek as needed.

I was a SAHM when I had young kids. I went back to work once my youngest started school. I still need to put my youngest on the bus and take off the bus.

amother

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 11:58 am

First of all wow! The amount of hours you eork and squeezing things in all around!

The ideas are great. I love the idea of switching off play dates with other parents.

Starting an hour later or finishing an hour earlier for appts is also great. I have 2 weekly appts currently.

Looking for a job with flexibility so I can take off if kids are sick, or have vacation is great planning.

Sunday could be shopping day or taking off one day a week.

Some ideas don't work for my energy levels or personality but all in all was great help!

HonesttoGod

Sun, Jan 03 2021, 1:57 pm

Currently don't work FT anymore but I did for several years so here are my answers:

1. Appointments for your kids (dentists, physicals and others)

Evenings (I had a Dr office open late) or Sundays

2. Weekly appointments for yourself (I.e. any type of therapy)

Same as above. Evening hours or Sundays

3. Shopping for yourself and kids (clothing, toys, homegoods..)

I did a lot online or I would go to the mall on Sunday afternoon. In the winter Motze Shabbat mall trips were fun too.

4. When do you do weekly grocery order?

Sunday. Or online for delivery on Thursday evening.

5. What do you do if kid is sick?

I would take a day off and work from home and if it was too many days they were sick my husband would take a day off so I could work.

6. What do you do midwinter, Chanukah vacation with kids.

Ship em out to friends/family, and leave work early and catch up from home. My employer was quite flexible as long as the work was done by the deadline and I had 40 hours.

7. Between school and camp times

Usually signed up for a backyard daycamp sort of thing - or I would arrange a schedule with friends and family and make up my hours at night.