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MY 3 YEAR OLD DOESN'T SLEEP!!!

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 6:18 am
My son just turned 3 he doesn't sleep and we are all going crazy. It's a battle to out him to sleep every night. No matter how many massages or calming strategies we try he climbs out of his bed. He has so much energy. Finally once he sleeps, he ALWAYS wales up at 5am, no matter what time he goes to sleep. He's definitely tired and cranky during the day. He acts up during the day because he's tired. He will always fall asleep in the car. We are losing our minds:(Sad. Anyone dealt with this? Should I go to an ENT?
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Rachel Shira




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 6:53 am
Does he nap?
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amother




Aqua
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 6:56 am
For starters ask ur pediatrician. A small dose of melotonin might be all he needs
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Frumwithallergies




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 7:01 am
I would try melatonin. We used it briefly a few times to re-set the evening routine. It is not addictive in children and is usually well tolerated.

Try 1 -3 mg 30 minutes to 1 hour before 'bedtime'.
Hatzlacha!
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 7:01 am
Rachel Shira wrote:
Does he nap?

No, usually not but sometimes he is so tired that he just falls asleep during nap time. Interesting though because he would fall asleep the same time nap or not. My day is usually easier when he naps because he is less crazy.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 7:02 am
Frumwithallergies wrote:
I would try melatonin. We used it briefly a few times to re-set the evening routine. It is not addictive in children and is usually well tolerated.

Try 1 -3 mg 30 minutes to 1 hour before 'bedtime'.
Hatzlacha!

I'll ask my pediatrician. He's so young I'm nervous to give. I'm the type that doesn't take anything unless I'm really sick.
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amother




cornflower
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 7:07 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
No, usually not but sometimes he is so tired that he just falls asleep during nap time. Interesting though because he would fall asleep the same time nap or not. My day is usually easier when he naps because he is less crazy.

Do you have him on a set schedule?
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 7:30 am
amother [ cornflower ] wrote:
Do you have him on a set schedule?


Yes! Recently tried putting him in later to see if he would go to sleep better and possibly wake up better.
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honey36




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 9:42 am
Have you tried spending a lot of time outside and see if that helps before going to melatonin? I know it may be cold, but bundle up and get out there for as long as you can. The sun suppresses the bodies natural melatonin and then when it gets dark outside it will be released and make him tired. Also fresh air and lots of physical activity.

My kids are the crazy ones running up around the park and walking to school when its freezing. We bundle up and the movement keeps us warm. And they all sleep great at night.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 9:44 am
honey36 wrote:
Have you tried spending a lot of time outside and see if that helps before going to melatonin? I know it may be cold, but bundle up and get out there for as long as you can. The sun suppresses the bodies natural melatonin and then when it gets dark outside it will be released and make him tired. Also fresh air and lots of physical activity.

My kids are the crazy ones running up around the park and walking to school when its freezing. We bundle up and the movement keeps us warm. And they all sleep great at night.


Thanks! I'm trying that today letting him use all his energy. Will see how it goes..
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amother




Taupe
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 12:02 pm
Wired but really tired — in my experience that’s usually a neurotransmitter thing, which we work on by healing the gut because that’s where most neurotransmitters are produced, especially the calming ones like gaba and serotonin which is turned into melatonin. Magnesium is also really important for calming the nervous system, and most people are deficient, as well as good methylation, although b vitamins should not be given close to bed. Avoid food dyes and other excitotoxins like msg.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 12:12 pm
Oysh, this was DD until she was 5, and we discovered melatonin. I could easily have given it to her 2 years earlier, and saved us both a lot of fights. I think that the constant power struggle really affected our relationship.

With the pediatrician's permission, I figured out the absolute lowest possible dose that was still effective. The standard is 5mg, but she fell asleep perfectly with 1.5mg. We'd get the chewable 3mg tablets and break them in half.

She went from fighting me, to coming to me a half an hour before bedtime and saying "Mama, I need my pill now." By bedtime she would ask me to put her to bed and say Shema. Easy peasy! Even better, because she was the one asking for bedtime, she felt more in control.

I do agree that you should try to burn off all of his energy during the day. The main problem is that if you miss that perfect window of when to get him to bed (and that window can be only 5 minutes!) then he will get his "second wind" and be overtired and too wide awake to settle. This is where the melatonin comes in.

As for mornings, get this clock for him. https://www.amazon.com/Wake-Ch.....psc=1

When he wakes up, tell him that he can play quietly in his room until the clock turns green. Then it will be OK to come wake you up.
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bwaybabe85




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 12:37 pm
What time are you putting him to bed? Maybe it’s too late and he’s overtired.
I’d suggest melatonin as well.
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amother




Ivory
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 7:02 pm
Yes, what time are you putting him to bed? How long does it take for him finally get to bed and what time does he then go to sleep?

For example, his bedtime is 7pm. With the bedtime struggle, he ends up falling asleep at 10.

If something similar is the case, then I'd suggest taking the fight out of bedtime. Let him know that his bedtime will be 10. Maybe even push him to stay up until 10. Don't fight or push him to go to bed earlier. Most likely, he will fall asleep easily because what's probably happening is that your efforts to put him to bed at 7 just rile him up and give him more energy. If you don't fight with him, he'll be more likely to fall asleep without a fight.

Then if that method works, decrease the bedtime by 15 minutes every night until you get to the desired bedtime.

Yes it's a long method but it may work.
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wife101




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 8:13 pm
This is my 3 year old - he never slept. A few months back I tried melatonin (don't remember why) and it's been a life changer. Once he got into routine I was able to stop giving it to him regularly. There was recently change in schedule due to a simcha so I started giving it again. Huge difference.
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amother




Mint
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 8:20 pm
Just as an FYI the melatonin dosages that some people are recommending are very high. Higher doses can actually interfere with good sleep by causing strange/scary dreams. I would definitely start with not more than a half mg and only go up if necessary. I say this based on experience.
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oneofakind




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 8:56 pm
I'm an adult who will start with 1 milligram melatonin and max at 3 or 4.
I'm suggesting that after he lets out his energy, put him to bed EARLIER. When some people are overtired, they get more wired. It's a trick to catch that perfect time but it may work.
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amother




Taupe
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 9:00 pm
amother [ Mint ] wrote:
Just as an FYI the melatonin dosages that some people are recommending are very high. Higher doses can actually interfere with good sleep by causing strange/scary dreams. I would definitely start with not more than a half mg and only go up if necessary. I say this based on experience.
Agree. My dc started out with 1/6th of a mg at 5yo and now at 9 is taking 1/4mg and it does the trick.
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miami85




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 9:06 pm
I can commiserate. I've tried it all, and my now 3-year-old also doesn't fall asleep until 12-1am and he either wakes up too late and despite all my efforts takes a 3- hour nap, and even if we get him to 7pm it becomes a nap and he's awake until into the wee-hours of the morning. Even if I get him to sleep in another location (he will not even CLAIM a bed as his own--we've tried several possible locations) he prefers sleeping on the floor or my livingroom couch, but he almost every night ends up in my bed. We try melatonin--.5, 1, 3, 5, even 10mg, nothing works with any amount of predictability. If something works one night, it bombs the next night.
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amother




Indigo
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2021, 9:46 pm
1. What does his diet consist of? Some mothers I know have turned to melatonin for their children. And I am suprised why cutting out sugar wasnt an idea they tried first.
2. How much physical activity does he get? My 2.5 is pretty active and I got a small trampoline. Especially helpful when the weather is too cold to go out much. I have him jump, and run even if indoors, go up and down stairs a few times a day, sometimes I even throw in dance parties. Point is - they need physical activities to deal with all that energy.
3. I wouldn't put him to sleep later. If hes consistently waking at 5 am, and no nap. He should be getting those 10-12 hours of sleep at night. The Times my Ds doesnt nap, I still put him in "too chill" and then he has to be in bed in time to get 11/12 hours. So hell be asleep 7 to wake up 630.
4. My kids do better falling asleep when dinner is finished by 2 hours before night time. "Exercise", a good bath, and an audiobook- even something cute like middos story, help him calm and settle to sleep.
Hope that was helpful.
Hatzlacha!
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