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External vs whats inside--mishloach manos
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thegiver




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Feb 21 2021, 4:03 pm
Anyone feel like the essence of the mitzvah is lost in all the frills?

Is it hiddur mitzvah all these fancy labels and packaging?

I was taught 2 servings of meat is the ideal thing to give but I feel like nowadays ppl would not appreciate that And might even throw it out.

Just what is the essence of the mitzvah? Good will? Delicacies? Building friendship? Reciprocation? Pleasure?

Just want to understand...
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ra_mom




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Feb 21 2021, 4:04 pm
The purpose is to extend friendship. Build good feelings. Everyone should do what feels right to them. Judging takes away the good intentions of fellowship. Wink
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Feb 21 2021, 7:19 pm
I hear you. MM for many people has become a contest of who can have a more creative theme and fancier packaging, and some people brag that a theme enables them to give total junk and it’s ok because it’s a theme. And don’t get me started on the so-called poems!

The whole purpose of MM is to foster friendship. Haman alleged that the Jews were divided and divisive; MM is a response to that allegation. Does it really matter if someone gives you a hamburger or a cupcake? This is not food delivery from the Chinese takeout; it’s a gift. Gifts are customarily attractively presented, boxed and/or wrapped in a festive manner that proclaims: this is a gift! So while you are fulfilling the mitzvah if you give MM in an old plastic bag from the grocery store, it’s nicer if you put a little effort into presentation. But you’re right, the main value ought to be the food, not the packaging.
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amother




Khaki
 

Post Sun, Feb 21 2021, 7:33 pm
I am actually under the impression that it is a sly way to insure that people have food for the seuda without embarrassing them and them needing to lose their dignity and ask for matanot li’evionim. That is why it is 2 foods ready to be eaten now, with (for) your seuda.

How is it used now; as a opportunity to show off, endear yourself to people who you want to be friends with, and an all around popularity contest.
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amother




Pearl
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 9:51 am
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
I am actually under the impression that it is a sly way to insure that people have food for the seuda without embarrassing them and them needing to lose their dignity and ask for matanot li’evionim. That is why it is 2 foods ready to be eaten now, with (for) your seuda.

How is it used now; as a opportunity to show off, endear yourself to people who you want to be friends with, and an all around popularity contest.


MM and ML are two separate mitzvot, both required on Purim. MM is for endearment. We do our ML through organizations like shuls or JCCs since we don't know who is an evyon. There's just one family we'd consider evyonim who happen to be friends of ours, so we put real food like canned goods and fruit in their MM rather than just desserts. Though they're not evyonim in the sense of literally having no food in the house and needing to rely on MM or ML for their seudah.
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Twinster




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 9:54 am
ra_mom wrote:
The purpose is to extend friendship. Build good feelings. Everyone should do what feels right to them. Judging takes away the good intentions of fellowship. Wink


This.
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Crookshanks




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 10:13 am
There are some people who enjoy using their creativity for Purim, the same way someone who loves flowers might enjoy preparing for Shavuos. Let's let everyone do their own thing, fancy or not.
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mizle10




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 10:16 am
I’m giving 2 servings of meat this year😉
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Crookshanks




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 10:21 am
mizle10 wrote:
I’m giving 2 servings of meat this year😉

I know lots of people this year doing cholent/salami/deli because of Friday Purim. Is that the reason?
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chanchy123




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 10:26 am
Mishloach Manot is a gift of food to build friendship. They can come in different shapes and sizes. There is no one way to do mishloach manot. I like you make sure to give davka my neighbours, the homes close to where we live to increase a sense of community.
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amother




Magenta
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 10:32 am
I wish the rabbis should say to only give to no more than few people. It is just a task for me and dc want to make something “creative” and homemade. I’m just so exhausted and this whole contest of content and number of mm and popularity is just too much. Our generation don’t have real leaders
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Crookshanks




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 10:34 am
amother [ Magenta ] wrote:
I wish the rabbis should say to only give to no more than few people. It is just a task for me and dc want to make something “creative” and homemade. I’m just so exhausted and this whole contest of content and number of mm and popularity is just too much.

Why should everyone else be limited so you don't need to teach your children by yourself? The answer is not making more and more restrictions on everyone else. It's teaching your children about your values and making mishloach manos work for you.
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 10:44 am
Crookshanks wrote:
I know lots of people this year doing cholent/salami/deli because of Friday Purim. Is that the reason?


Mistameh. It goes with the Shabbat "theme." Personally I prefer to give only nonperishables, since if people aren't home the package may be sitting by their door for hours. Days, if they went away for Purim.
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Crookshanks




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 10:45 am
zaq wrote:
Mistameh. It goes with the Shabbat "theme."

Very Happy And I know other people doing challah and dips. I personally have no patience for such things. I can't do perishables my fridge isn't that big.
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ora_43




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 10:47 am
I do think sometimes the essence gets lost, yeah. A paper here that's usually pretty religious-sensitive just had a whole big article with creative mishloach manot ideas - almost none of which were actually halachically mishloachei manot. Too much gift, very little actual food.

But if it's a real mishloach manot (ie with prepared food, not just like, stickers, a tea bag, and a raw sweet potato), then I don't see anything wrong with prettying it up or giving it a theme or a poem or something.

As long as themes and poems don't become so common that I'm expected to do one. If that happens I'll be on the front lines of the anti-theme battle.
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 10:51 am
ora_43 wrote:
.

As long as themes and poems don't become so common that I'm expected to do one. If that happens I'll be on the front lines of the anti-theme battle.


And I'll be right behind you.
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 10:57 am
thegiver wrote:
Anyone feel like the essence of the mitzvah is lost in all the frills?


.


And here we have the kernel of a dvar Torah for Purim, all about how the ikkar of MM is the content, not the packaging (in fact, halacha doesn't require any sort of packaging and is silent on the topic). So, too, when we interact with people, attractive packaging is nice to look at but we must understand that what's important is the content. If the packaging is stunning and all that's inside is junk, what's it worth?
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amother




Magenta
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 11:00 am
Crookshanks wrote:
Why should everyone else be limited so you don't need to teach your children by yourself? The answer is not making more and more restrictions on everyone else. It's teaching your children about your values and making mishloach manos work for you.

Because we don’t need to have people driving themselves crazy because of the competition. That’s what being frum is all about it’s about tznius. Even though you are very creative and have time and money and a good baker and have a lot of friends you only do a little. Not to show off and pressure and embarrass other people. We are supposed to be better that the secular world. I don’t say don’t do anything just be modest in order to protect your fellow Jew. The rabbi should make a rule. Like the one for weddings that some do.
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Crookshanks




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 11:01 am
ora_43 wrote:
I do think sometimes the essence gets lost, yeah. A paper here that's usually pretty religious-sensitive just had a whole big article with creative mishloach manot ideas - almost none of which were actually halachically mishloachei manot. Too much gift, very little actual food.

But if it's a real mishloach manot (ie with prepared food, not just like, stickers, a tea bag, and a raw sweet potato), then I don't see anything wrong with prettying it up or giving it a theme or a poem or something.

As long as themes and poems don't become so common that I'm expected to do one. If that happens I'll be on the front lines of the anti-theme battle.

Seriously?? Why does this need to become a "battle"? What happened to "you do you" "live and let live" and keeping your nose in your very own business? No one can force you to write a poem, no matter how popular they become. I promise that with the amount of Purim poem animosity on Imamother, there will always be a healthy contingent of people who don't write poems. The point of mishloach manos is to increase ahavah and achvah. Not to start fighting about poems and themes.
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amother




Orchid
 

Post Mon, Feb 22 2021, 11:02 am
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
I am actually under the impression that it is a sly way to insure that people have food for the seuda without embarrassing them and them needing to lose their dignity and ask for matanot li’evionim. That is why it is 2 foods ready to be eaten now, with (for) your seuda.

How is it used now; as a opportunity to show off, endear yourself to people who you want to be friends with, and an all around popularity contest.

It's not sly. MM is supposed to be a meal that the recipient can use for seudas Purim. I believe halachically if the person does not eat it on Purim you have not fulfilled your mitzva, but I need to look that up.
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