Six year old has aches and pains

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Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 5:20 am
My dd constantly complains about aches a whole day from when she is very young. She is my oldest I know it's because she wants attention. I have tried so many different ways for to stop I am at my wit's end.
I have put creams and plasters. I have told her I only want to hear good things like what happened good today. I have told her refuah sheliama and just walk away. Obviously I don't do all this every time each time something else.
The problem is I don't know when she is in real pian BC she is always a drama queen even when it's not real.
Eg she can tell me her tooth hurts I will tell her to brush her teeth and she calms down, then the next time she insists that it still hurts her after she brushed her tooth and I find out later that a girl went to the dentist that day and got a sticker.
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Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 5:55 am
Take her to the dentist
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Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 6:32 am
If she is feeling achy, check for lyme...that is one of the symptoms. Take her seriously.
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Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 6:42 am
amother [ Bronze ] wrote:
Take her to the dentist

Or to the doctor - if it's not just toothache.
What kind of aches. Like aching limbs, headaches, tummy aches, or things like 'I have a booboo on my finger'?

If she regularly gets aches and pains like headaches or tummy aches, I would take her to a doctor - not necessarily when she's in pain, just a general appointment to speak to the doctor about it. She will have to express to the doctor what hurts her, and how it hurts and when.
Assuming there is nothing seriously wrong, and it is just attention that she is seeking, perhaps just the idea that you've taken her seriously will help things go away.
The doctor could prescribe some harmless vitamin tablets and explain that this will help make her body stronger and hopefully she'll feel better.
Is there any way you can speak to the doctor beforehand and explain why you are coming?

If chas veshalom she really has something that needs attention, the doctor should also help with that. You can't lose by just getting her checked out.
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Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 6:50 am
Rule out physical causes. When that is done, focus on giving your child more one on one attention, but do not give excessive attention to the "physical symptoms". But really put in the effort to spend more time connecting with your child outside of her physical complaints. It can be very triggering when a child is extra needy, or feigns illness to get attention, so it's hard. But I think you'll see results.

Last edited by Success10 on Tue, Feb 23 2021, 7:06 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 6:57 am
If it wasn't going on for a few years I was going to tell you to check for mono or cmv! My dd had cmv and she really wasn't feeling well for a few weeks.
Of course you have to rule out physical causes first but if everything comes out fine I would go on a date with her on werkly basis!!
It's hard to do but cheaper and easier than therapy on the long run. She obviously wants attention and has a lot of imagination!(make babysitting arrangements for your other kids if you have to!)
When you find out that she identifies with girls in her class answer with: "oh you wish you could also do xyz, wouldn't that be fun ? Do you know what I wish for...." and make up stories so she realizes it's just a game!!
Try to spend 10 minutes with her every night before she goes to bed, talk her day and your day!
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Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 8:45 am
Nope not real aches it's always different boo-boos, it's her way of getting att.I just find it hard that she is trying to get her attention through all her boo-boo. Every scratch is blown up to major proportion that I never know when she really is in pain. If she tells me her throat hurts her because she doesn't want to get dressed I don't know if it's true, after school she is completely back to herself with no throat pain.
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Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 8:48 am
Success and ddmom will try your ideas they sound great.
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Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 9:20 am
Rule out every single medical thing you can before you start thinking it's just her being a drama queen.

Take her to a rheumatologist and do bloodwork for inflammatory markers.

Even if she's had asymptomatic Covid, she can have post infection inflammation.

Check for strep/PANDAS.

When DD was 6 she started getting headaches and stomach aches every morning. If I let her stay home from school she was fine. I didn't believe her for years, and fought with her about it all the time. It was so bad that by 2nd grade she got expelled from school for hiding under her desk or behind the coat rack. She wouldn't come out during tests. Who expels a second grader?!

It turned out that she suffers from severe anxiety and perfectionist OCD that was literally making her feel unwell. We ended up needing parenting classes to learn how to help her manage her symptoms, and as she got older she started taking medication and going to therapy. B'H it has helped immensely. She's still not 100%, but there is a lot of improvement.

It is very hard for me to not feel guilty for all those years. I didn't know any better. I didn't think a 6yo could have psychological issues.

PLEASE, believe your child until you've exhausted every possibility. If she's faking, she'll stop because she doesn't want to keep getting poked and prodded. If she's telling the truth, you can help her feel better as soon as you know what's going on.
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Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 2:50 pm
My dd is sensory so she really feels every boo boo to an extreme level.
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