Dd throws away stained underwear during period

amother

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:35 pm

She just got it several months ago. In the beginning I bought new underwear (Hanes or fruit of the looms) because I thought she is not used to it. Now I realize she doesn’t have underwear again... I didn’t want to talk o her about it because she is very shy and touchy about the whole thing. Wwyd

amother

Silver

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:36 pm

Teach her how to do her own laundry. This is a valuable life skill in any case! I am sure she will be relieved to be able to take care of her underwear privately from now on and will gladly take over the chore of washing her own clothes.

amother

Aubergine

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:40 pm

I also used to do that....I'd say to get her cheap underwear and let it go for now, it's a passing phase. She's gonna get more comfortable with getting her period, she'll stop doing it.

NotLazySusan

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:41 pm

Have you shown her how to properly put pad on? Does she need a diff brand/shape/thickness?

amother

Green

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:41 pm

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

That could certainly help. But be prepared for her to not want to deal with it, especially after the first time a pair she washed doesn't come fully clean the first time. So I would do that, but also buy a bunch of very cheap pairs that you treat as disposable until she gets a better handle on things. Which could take some time, as her cycle will likely be unpredictable for awhile.

ra_mom

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:43 pm

Teach her how to take out blood stains easily. Spray with Windex.
Then throw into machine and wash as usual. Comes right out.. Since it's underwear close to sensitive spots, she should add 1/2 cup baking soda to the machine to make sure all the chemicals come out during the wash.

Last edited by ra_mom on Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:44 pm; edited 1 time in total

finprof

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:44 pm

Can you teach her to track her cycle so that she knows when to wear the stained underwear and save the "clean" ones? I also second the laundry idea, but we start that chore "early" in my house.

Rachel Shira

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:45 pm

Teach her how to wash it herself (cold water as soon as possible, etc) but I still, when needed, throw away a pair that got randomly stained. I think she should have enough extra pairs that she can throw one away every so often without it being a problem (obviously if it’s multiple times a cycle, she’s doing something wrong with her pad or not changing it enough or whatever).

amother

Amber

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:45 pm

At that age I stained underwear, sheets, pajamas, a few skirts. I was mortified whenever my mother brought up the topic of menstruation.
I wish I would have known about pads with wings and about tampons.

WhatFor

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:47 pm

Have a conversation with her about it. No need to reinforce that this is something to be shy about. The more natural you are about it the less awkward it will be, but she needs guidance.

Have you already spoken to her about pads and tampons? Does she know about different sizes (pads or tampons) for different types of flow? How often she needs to change them? Does she know about pads with wings? Another option could be period underwear, Thinx brand comes to mind but it's not the only one. Talk to her about options, she doesn't need to be scared to ask questions and she doesn't need a new pack of underwear for every period.

amother

Oak

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:51 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Can I suggest you should talk to her?
Is she shy or are you uncomfortable?
I was that child and my mom pretended I was shy when I so badly wanted to have open conversations.

amother

Mustard

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:56 pm

You need to talk to her and go over viable options. Personally, I keep my stained underwear to use specifically during my period (nothing works for me to prevent some staining) and keep my normal underwear for the rest of the time. Or maybe she would prefer to try treating the stains. But having to buy new underwear so frequently is not an option (I guess she could pay if she wants to continue that route).

amother

Pink

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:03 pm

I did the same as a teen being too embarrassed. U can tell her how to to pretreat stains or rub soap or buy her cheap. Don’t make a big deal. Also please get her black underwear.. it would’ve been what I wanted

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:03 pm

If u can afford it buy her a ton of cheap underwear . I used to do the same and was mortified when my mother realized. Lol .. not sure who I thought was doing the laundry .

amother

Ecru

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:03 pm

Get her dark underwear and give her a bottle of windex to keep in her room. She can spray the stained underwear and the stain will be gone in minutes.

amother

Wheat

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:20 pm

I'd buy black underwear and talk to her about treating stains--either she can take over laundry or she can rinse it out and soak before it gets washed. And see if she needs bigger/longer pads or something--find out when it's happening. I remember layering 3 overlapping pads for nighttime as a teen since that was when the most leaking occurred. Wish I had nighttime pads!

amother

Aquamarine

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:12 pm

Windex? That’s so interesting!!!
I’m in my 40’s and have never dealt with stained underwear with windex before!
When dd stained her underwear the first time she had her period she hid them in the bathroom cabinet but eventually told me. I told her they can be washed and she was really surprised. I’ve been dealing with her stained underwear and know where to look for them. I was using shout and cold water. Looking forward to trying windex!!!

amother

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:13 pm

I have a housekeeper and I didn’t teach my children to really help at home. My married Dd does everything now that she is married. My teen Dd is very responsible otherwise and keeps her too organized but doesn’t clean or do laundry. It’s too late to really change now. I will talk to her about overnight pads. I never used tampons. Should I tell her to get tampons. Do you think she talks to her friends about all the options? Maybe I should ask my older Dd for advice:(. I have very good relationship with my married Dd. What are the special underwear for the period do they work?