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So many friends I didn't give MM to...

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:55 pm
How do you handle this?

We had multiple medical appts on Purim and really only gave to teachers and 1 neighbor and 1 shadchan and my daughter's friends and husband's friend.

I feel sad/bad/not put together/wistful.
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amother




Navy
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:04 pm
Don't feel bad. I end up just going to the teachers and whoever is on the way to their houses. I don't even bother trying to go to my friends. Purim is about making my kidshappy at this point, so we went to their teachers and their friends and that's it.
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:04 pm
I was not able to reciprocate to every friend and neighbor. If I would do what most people do, which is put 2-3 little cheap things into a simple bag I could also make 100 bags to give out. But my kids really want to bake and do fancy packaging, etc. We made 40 and it was already a nightmare and a fortune. But there was so little fun stuff going on this Purim I didn't want to say no to my kids. So....

Anyhow, I feel bad but I like to think friendships are stronger than being upset by something like this. And if their home is anything like my home, the MM are ripped apart from the kids so fast you don't even know anymore who sent and what came from where.
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:25 pm
It’s fine. Not the point of the day.
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mommyhood




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:25 pm
Multiple medical appointments and you managed to do any deliveries, wow I’m very impressed!
I missed some pretty important people because I somehow left them off my list and I was so organized I followed my list. I hope none of them holds it against me just like I don’t hold it against the friends who didn’t come to me. It’s a hectic day for everyone.
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amother




Brown
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:39 pm
amother [ Navy ] wrote:
Don't feel bad. I end up just going to the teachers and whoever is on the way to their houses. I don't even bother trying to go to my friends. Purim is about making my kidshappy at this point, so we went to their teachers and their friends and that's it.


I noticed this happened to all of us over the years. It’s not really the way it’s supposed to be as the Mitzvah as written in the Megillah is about friends. Whatever the case there shouldn’t be pressure to go to everyone.
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agreer




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:42 pm
Did they give you and and leave it on your door, and you feel bad that you didn't reciprocate? Bring them something this week before shabbos (thurs or fri) and thank them.

If they didn't leave anything at your door - then don't feel bad! you didn't give them and they didn't give you. No biggie.
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amother




White
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:45 pm
On a Friday Purim everyone cuts back. Nobody is insulted if a friend didn't make it over, they understand the time constraints.
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hodeez




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:57 pm
They'll live
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amother




Cerulean
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:22 pm
I prepare a few for neighbors that live in my building. I only send to one in the morning right after megillah. The rest I send only after they've sent me.

I don't want to create pressure for every neighbor in the building or on my street.

I don't send to friends or siblings.

If you've made any deliveries you're good!
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rainbow dash




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 2:16 am
Because on Corona I made only 2. My mil and sil. Zehu. I dont need my kids going in and out of people's homes. Plus it was friday.
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amother




Ruby
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:38 am
We didn't even attempt it this year. Between Covid-distancing issues and Erev Shabbos, we just gave the basics to be yotzei, and agreed with our friends in advance not to give each other. (TBH, it saved a lot of time!)
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Iymnok




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 4:14 am
I made 18. Whoever got, got. I hope my relationships are stronger than the Mm. Though I wish I could have given everyone, it really wasn’t possible.
I think everyone realizes that.
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imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 5:22 am
MM puts me under a huge pressure. This year I tried to delegate as much as possible
Next year I am planning to delegate all of it.

I know the halachic minimum and don't overdo it much. I assume that my friends do the same.
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ysydmom




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 5:55 am
I usually give my neighbors in the morning and then go with kids and dh in the car this year dh took the kids I stayed home and made shabbos/seuda purim and that was it a few neighbors came to me. I feel bad but I did the best I could and it's fine when I see my neighbors I will explain it was too much for me this year so I did my best. my kids were happy and that's what counts.
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amother




Puce
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 6:36 am
You know, sometimes, no matter what we do, we feel bad.

DH had an appointment on Friday and wasn't available, so I did all the planning, baking, writing, packing, and delivery for 25, with minimal delivery help from truculent teens, on a short Friday. And cooked for Shabbos, which finished at the stroke of sunset.

DH said nothing much about the accomplishment, then, when we were arguing about something last night, gave the opinion that he's the only one in the household any good at organization and time management.

You feeling bad because you made the right choice to do what you needed to do for your health, is about as ridiculous as if I would feel bad about my DH's zinger.

You fulfilled the mitzvah and then some. Right now, everyone is done with Purim, and not keeping lists of who didn't give to them.
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Crookshanks




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 10:13 am
amother [ White ] wrote:
On a Friday Purim everyone cuts back. Nobody is insulted if a friend didn't make it over, they understand the time constraints.

This. There was no traffic in Lakewood on Purim which was insane. Everyone stayed home (especially people who were hosting seudos and making Shabbos).
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ImmaBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 11:55 pm
Didn’t deliver any because we’re still trying to be careful.
However-
I took a few minutes to call a housebound friend “in lieu” of my mishloach manos. Honestly she appreciated that much more.
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