Who should pay? | Imamother

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Who should pay?

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amother

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 2:13 pm

Mother, who lives in the US is going to send a birthday present to Sister A who lives in Israel. The present she picks out happens to cost $74. Sister B also lives in Israel, and when she finds out that Mother is sending a package to Sister A, she requests that Mother also send her (Sister B) something that costs $1, so Mother puts them in the same package. None of the three were aware that a recepient must pay 17% import tax on a package costing $75 or more, whereas a package costing $74 would have no import cost. Now the package is already in Israel. If no one pays the 17%, then the package will not be delivered or returned.

Who should pay the import tax?

Sister A, because she's the only one who is receiving something valuable?

Sister B, because her request is what caused the package to need to be taxed?

Mother, because she's the one who sent the package?

If you think it should be split, how and by whom?

I guess I think it would make the most sense if Sister A paid. But if I were Sister A, I'd be pissed at Sister B. If Sister B would apologize for her blunder IMO that would be enough and she wouldn't have to pay, but if she didn't apologize at all or offer to pay, I'd be upset. If I were Sister B, I think I'd apologize to Sister A, but I don't think I'd offer to pay if money were tight. Wondering what others think.

shmosmom

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 2:15 pm

Why would Sister A pay? She's getting a gift. Sister B or Mom can offer to pay. If I was Sister B I think I'd pick up the package and pay.

amother

Bisque

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 2:15 pm

There is a straight out halacha for that. Go ask your Rabbi or Posek.

amother

Floralwhite

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 2:17 pm

OMG, seriously? Life is so short and so precious, and you're wasting your energy on $17?

amother

Hotpink

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 2:25 pm

I would never fight with a sibling over a small amount of money. It's so petty.

amother

Purple

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 2:31 pm

I would think sister B. Had she not requested the item, there would be no taxes

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 2:32 pm

Mother, because she's the one sending the package.

SuperWify

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 2:34 pm

Not A- it was a gift.

Not B- it cost a $1

Obviously mother!

amother

Aubergine

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 2:38 pm

Why is the mother not paying for it? Is $17 worth a family fight?

amother

Bisque

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 2:38 pm

I think the halacha would be sister B. Sister A for sure not. The only other choice would be mother, so I think it will be sister B.

watergirl

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 2:48 pm

I think 17% of $75 is around $12. I’m not such a math person. Mom should pay it and consider it to be part of the gift.

When we send gifts to my sibling in Israel, we order something there and have it sent locally to her. If this mother decided to ship something and not find out about taxes, sorry. I found that out ages ago when my sibling first made aliyah and asked me to send things (I was told when I sent it!).

amother

Green

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 2:58 pm

Lesson learned. What would have happened if the gift had cost $75? Do that.

amother

Coral

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 3:10 pm

Of course Sister A should not pay!!
It's a gift.

amother

Tangerine

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 3:22 pm

There isna halacha for this.

Reminds me of the following case, found in Shmooze, by Nechemia Coopersmith:
3 people sit down on a couch. A 4th person sits down, and the couch breaks.
Who pays:
The 4th person, because he caused the couch to break?
Split between all 4?

naturalmom5

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 3:33 pm

Obviously the 2nd sister

Why is she different than the Gam in BK

Ten guys sit on a bench , the tenth one broke the bench

So he is chayiv even though it might be a cumulative stress on the bench

amother

Tangerine

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 3:36 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

Obviously the 2nd sister

Why is she different than the Gam in BK

Ten guys sit on a bench , the tenth one broke the bench

So he is chayiv even though it might be a cumulative stress on the bench

In the case of the bench, it depends on if the other 9 people had time to get up. If the tenth person sat down and the couch broke immediately, only he is chayav.

If it didn't break immediately, the second he sat down, the other 9 people should have recalibrated and come to the conclusion that they need to get up. If they didn't, they are also chayav, as myxh as the tenth, and they all must share in the payment.

Raisin

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 4:14 pm

The sender should pay. She should have realised this before sending it.

amother

Pewter

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 4:44 pm

Dont get into this

sister A gets a gift, non of biz of sister B to ask

A gift is given out of free will

No one should pay tax if under $70

B, be happy and forgo $1 gift.

amother

Mint

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 5:33 pm

I would guess sister B. But curious what the halacha actually is.

Iymnok

Sun, Mar 14 2021, 5:53 pm

Living in Israel, sister B should be aware of these taxes as well as a way to find things locally. We all make mistakes, and we’ve all paid for them. Next time they’ll be more careful.
Sister A should not be involved at all other than receiving her gift and being grateful.

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