 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Pesach
|
amother
OP
|
 Thu, Mar 25 2021, 7:38 am
| amother [ Orchid ] wrote: | Well now I feel guilty, I was going to put my 2.5 y/o to bed and enjoy a simple seder with my 5 m/o and DH  |
Me too! When I asked this q I was thinking about my 2.5 year old! I was surprised by the responses.
| |
|
| Back to top |
 0
 1
|
watergirl
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 7:41 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | Me too! When I asked this q I was thinking about my 2.5 year old! I was surprised by the responses. |
My answer is the same for a 2.5 year old. I let my kids fall asleep when they were ready to at that age.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
9
|
Blessing1
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 7:43 am
| NotInNJMommy wrote: | | No. When they are second grade and up, I may let them stay up for a bit until I see them fading...then they drink the remaining cups and bentsch. Younger than that, I generally put to bed and normal time and do the "seder" with them in short/adjusted form the next day. |
Seriously? Till 2nd grade they're not up for the seder? And from second grade only for a bit?? Why? They don't ask to be up? 2nd grade is 8 years old, they should be up for the seder from way before that age. The seder is meant for kids. V'higadata l'vincha.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
22
|
Chayalle
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 7:45 am
When my kids were little, I started upping their bedtime a few days before Pesach (usually when vacation started) and in general, being on a somewhat later schedule. They could go to sleep later, and get up later....and this allowed them to be up a bit later by the Seder - as long as they were capable.
I have this cute picture in my mind of one year's Seder - my girls and my nieces all camped out on the living room floor - adjoining to the dining room - with their blankies...sort of part of the Seder, some of them more asleep than others.
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
9
|
tichellady
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 7:47 am
|
I think we will put my 2.5 year old to sleep before unless she takes a real nap during the day
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
NotInNJMommy
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 7:53 am
| Blessing1 wrote: | | Seriously? Till 2nd grade they're not up for the seder? And from second grade only for a bit?? Why? They don't ask to be up? 2nd grade is 8 years old, they should be up for the seder from way before that age. The seder is meant for kids. V'higadata l'vincha. |
1. Yes, seriously--and it's a general call, around 2nd grade, and the snark isn't necessary. I'm not out judging people who keep their kids up basically all night, resulting in tantrums and the opposite of shalom bayis the next day--if not during the seder itself....we all have our own cheshbonos. This is mine.
2. I can't start seder earlier than I can start seder, and my kids get meshuggy pretty quickly once they are past their bedtime. The sun is going to set when it sets, and my children are going to get very tired very quickly when they do. They won't be learning anything at that point--they will be overtired, on another planet, and probably not at the table--and they don't nap anymore, even if I were to try that.
3. My kids see all we do to prepare for pesach, including the seder. They make projects at school, and like I said, I do things before bedtime with the ones who won't be up at all and I abbreviate things for the ones that stay up a bit in an age appropriate way.
4. Some of my kids are teens now, and have progressively stayed up for more and more of the seder (obviously the entire thing now)--and even now, they cannot go all night. Our sedarim are private and not drawn out because that's what works for our family.
I know my kids, I know how to make the seder and pesach most meaningful to them while keeping halachah, and to each mother, her own.
Last edited by NotInNJMommy on Thu, Mar 25 2021, 7:57 am; edited 2 times in total
| |
|
| Back to top |
6
11
|
|
amother
Ivory
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 7:55 am
|
I figure I’ll keep my 2 year old up long enough to tell her the story after it’s “night” (probably just shkiah) and then put her to bed an hour later than usual , and then start our Seder. Once they really know the steps I would consider letting them stay up later.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
silverlining3
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 7:58 am
|
All younger kids have a later nap, including my 2.5 year old, and stay up for as long as they pull. They're definitely excited to start.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
6
|
tichellady
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 8:00 am
| Blessing1 wrote: | | Seriously? Till 2nd grade they're not up for the seder? And from second grade only for a bit?? Why? They don't ask to be up? 2nd grade is 8 years old, they should be up for the seder from way before that age. The seder is meant for kids. V'higadata l'vincha. |
The mitzvah is for adults. If an adult isn’t gonna enjoy it because their child is falling apart, what’s the point? Everyone needs to do what works for their family
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
7
|
Blessing1
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 8:02 am
| NotInNJMommy wrote: | 1. Yes, seriously--and it's a general call, around 2nd grade, and the snark isn't necessary. I'm not out judging people who keep their kids up basically all night, resulting in tantrums and the opposite of shalom bayis the next day--if not during the seder itself....we all have our own cheshbonos. This is mine.
2. I can't start seder earlier than I can start seder, and my kids get meshuggy pretty quickly once they are past their bedtime. The sun is going to set when it sets, and my children are going to get very tired very quickly when they do. They won't be learning anything at that point--they will be overtired, on another planet, and probably not at the table--and they don't nap anymore, even if I were to try that.
3. My kids see all we do to prepare for pesach, including the seder. They make projects at school, and like I said, I do things before bedtime with the ones who won't be up at all and I abbreviate things for the ones that stay up a bit in an age appropriate way.
4. Some of my kids are teens now, and have progressively stayed up for more and more of the seder (obviously the entire thing now)--and even now, they cannot go all night. Our sedarim are private and not drawn out because that's what works for our family.
I know my kids, I know how to make the seder and pesach most meaningful to them while keeping halachah, and to each mother, her own. |
Sorry, I did not mean to be snarky. I'm just surprised. I'm sorry. I guess you should do what works for your family. Perhaps they can take a long nap or maybe gradually get them used to a bit later bedtime before yom tov.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
7
|
|
amother
Burlywood
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 8:07 am
Putting children to sleep early works only if you are home. If walking to family, you have no choice. When I was a child, when my kids were little and them the grandkids- nap time on erev pesach was a must. Of course some fell asleep on couches, carriages or beds even with nap time. And many times they stayed there with the adults going home. ( yes pjs were brought for such emergencies.)
This is a wonderful-amazing night, but it is a long one.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
NotInNJMommy
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 8:08 am
| Blessing1 wrote: | | Sorry, I did not mean to be snarky. I'm just surprised. I'm sorry. I guess you should do what works for your family. Perhaps they can take a long nap or maybe gradually get them used to a bit later bedtime before yom tov. |
Doesn't work for our family. I am working full time up until yom tov (shabbos this year) and during chol hamoed. They are also in school until a few days before chag--so I can't change young ones' sleep schedules or school will be a mess... I also need them sleeping at normal time because evenings are when I cook and clean for pesach (or anything else).
and like I said, they won't do naps anymore.
But those are great options for folks who have that option.
It's also not an exact science. It depends on the child, when their normal bedtime is, when sunset is, and how they deal with being up past their bedtime. Where I am and who my kids are means that those things do not typically lead to them being up at all for the seder until closer to 2nd-3rd grade, and closer to 4-5th grade for them to be up for a complete, efficient, but not rushed, seder.
ETA: and usually by 2nd-3rd grade, I let them stay up for seder until they beg me to go to bed or are falling asleep at the table. They really really really do not like being up past their bedtime, and I don't want seder to be viewed as something they have to torture themselves over as children.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
|
amother
Oak
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 8:12 am
I'm also really strict with bedtime. Last year was the first time my kids stayed up for part of it. (And we were home so was shorter)
This year they can stay up as long as they can
I have a 5 yr old and 4 yr old
(Baby goes to sleep regular time)
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
cornflower
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 8:13 am
|
we put our kids to bed at their regular bedtimes or a drop earlier, around 630 or 7. We wake them up for kaddaish. Works really well. I do not wake up babies under 18 months.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
Apricot
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 8:17 am
My kids usually fall asleep before or during Seder 1, and one is usually up for Seder 2 but the others are sleeping.
This year maybe they'll be up due to shabbos being erev yt- maybe they'll nap.
I don't fight with them or push them- the decision is completely up to them. Anyone who is asleep gets to say mah nishtana etc at the day meal(s).
My kids are very in tune with their sleep needs and as soon as they are tired they like to go to sleep (like they're mama!).
I won't be keeping my 1 year old up, she will go to sleep as usual. She may wake up to nurse.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Apricot
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 8:19 am
Naps- my kids don't usually take them
Gradual later bedtime- ok sure, but who's going to cook and clean for yom tov? I can't, if my kids are up late  I work.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
|
amother
Amber
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 8:37 am
| amother [ cornflower ] wrote: | | we put our kids to bed at their regular bedtimes or a drop earlier, around 630 or 7. We wake them up for kaddaish. Works really well. I do not wake up babies under 18 months. |
This is what I do. Works great. My kids don't do naps in middle of the day, so instead they 'nap" an hour before bedtime when they are more likely to fall asleep, and get a good few hours of sleep before were really ready to start. They wake up refreshed, ready to start and in a good mood. (The preschoolers I'll sometimes do just for one night, so they have the experience and then sleep.thr second Seder night
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
Gold
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 8:48 am
I personally can't quite understand why there's a once a year mitzvah to teach children, and it takes place at night. Couldn't it have been scheduled for the day?
This goes up there with the mysteries of the world for me, along with how all of those babies were quiet during Hakhel.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
7
|
BrisketBoss
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 8:51 am
|
My oldest is 20 months and I think I'll put this off until next year. She doesn't talk yet and I'm not sure she understands much either. She's definitely she'eina yodeah lishol...I think that's a reasonable line? Don't bother trying if your kid can't say "Why?"
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
Puce
|
Thu, Mar 25 2021, 8:54 am
|
Over 2 I keep them up for Ma Nishtana. Over 5 I keep them up until they’re being annoying from lack of sleep.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
